New place
Opinion please! Understand I have 2 boys, full custody.( home all the time) He has 1 boy, (we have his boy every other week. Moving to new place. They each will have their own rooms. All three bedrooms are different sizes, so who gets what room?
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I have found kids do not make a big deal about the size of rooms
Just tell your kids NOT to tease their stepbrother about the room. I would give your kid the bigger ones (absent other considerations, like a young kid I want near me.)
Ohhh my kids don’t and wouldn
Ohhh my kids don’t and wouldn’t tease him! I never said that
Consider giving the oldest the biggest room
Consider giving the oldest the biggest room, and the next oldest the middle room, and the youngest the smaller room. Then as each one moves out, the next one moves up a room size.
I would go by age
so oldest has the biggest room and the youngest the smallest room as suggested above. I would also see if there is something about each room that may appeal to one child's interests or something. For example, in our previous home the smallest bedroom had built-ins and included a window seat so the two girls who shared decided they wanted that room with bunk beds versus the larger bedroom so the youngest ended up with a larger room.
How much different are the
How much different are the room sizes? Do any of the rooms have superior features, regardless of size, such as a private bath, more windows, further from mom and dad, bigger closet, etc.? If so, it may be that something other than size might be the desirable factor.
I don't draw the same distinction between full time and 50/50 as I do between full time and 4 nights a month, nor do I like automatically favoring the oldest. I would do a lottery/draw straws to determine the order in which the boys choose, and then let them pick their own rooms in that order.
Really?? So you'd be happy
Really?? So you'd be happy with, for example, the 14x12 room potentially sit unused for 24-27 days per month because of straws? While the small 9x9 room is cramped with a child using it 24/7? It just isn't a logical use of space.
The 4 day per month child gets the smallest room. I would do that if it were skid or bio. My own bio would get the smallest room as he's only here for a few weeks per year.
What happened to the parents being in charge and assigning rooms as they see fit? I really do not get the tiptoe'ing around the child and bending over backwards for "fairness" so the little angels don't get their feelings hurt.
And I don't mean this personally to you. This is a common heated debate on this website. I think it stems from a fear of upsetting the skid/s because when the do the EOWE visit, they are treated as special visitors. Royalty even. Just tell the kids where they're going as the dang bill paying ADULTS of the house and that's it. End of issue. No measuring, window sizes, sun rising/setting, straw picking nonsense.
Ugh.
No, I think you misunderstood
No, I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I said I don't draw the same distinction between full time and 50/50 as I do between full time and 4 days a month. Meaning that full time and half time kids are both there enough to warrant the same amount of space, while 4 day a month kids are not. To be clear, I should have elaborated and said that IMO a 4 day a month kid won't have as much stuff at the house and it *would* be a waste to tie up a superior bedroom if it wasn't being used for 26-27 days a month. Here all the kids are in the home at least half time, so I would not automatically assign the least desirable room to the kid who is there the least.
However, I think one can be the adult of the household while still allowing the kids some choice. If you have them draw straws, you are setting up the construct of how it works without actually making the choice. I see nothing wrong with that, and it's how I was raised. But to each his own.
Ahh ok, I did misunderstand
Ahh ok, I did misunderstand you a bit. I am sorry. I think it's good for children to have choices but over age appropriate things. Such as a choice of what to wear or what snack to take for lunch, etc. Too many parents give their kids so much power in the home that they are frightened to tell them which bedroom they will be using. That, too me, is just nonsense.
Yes, it's always about, "He
Yes, it's always about, "He won't come over anymore if he doesn't get the nicest bedroom," which is crazy to me. It's not his choice if he comes over anymore or not, and it just teaches entitlement.
I still think full-time kids should get the better rooms, even over a 50/50 kid. But there should be some discussion of WHY so that perhaps some of these kids can learn logic, critical thinking, and empathy.
I am not assigning the most
I am not assigning the most undesirable room to the child who is not here the most. Each room is set up very nice. Closets are the same.
Love your comment on logical
Love your comment on logical use of space. Since my two are there at all times they do have with them things they have collected over all the years verses that his does not. In which is not my fault because I am not the biological mother. As far as I am concerned assigned will be given. Just wanted want to views come others before the move happens. Thank you for your advice!
What are the ages of all the
What are the ages of all the boys?
If the SS and one of the BS are really close in age could they share the biggest and keep a game room for all 3 to share?
There is space for each boy
There is space for each boy to have their own bedroom for their own privacy