My hairstyle is not your concern biofreak!

When my husband & began dating his daughter's hair was long & beautiful... The moment the bio mom met me the hair got cut to just below the earlobes. My hair ranges in length (& color) but mostly it's longer. She desperately wants her hair to grow but seriously gets a haircut once a month... It's very short. My husband would love for his lil girl to have long hair again & once made the comment if I cut hair the bio mom would most likely let her grow hers. I've never responded to that, but it's a thought I've had, as I often wear extentions anyway. I just can't imagine joining the insanity by trying to coax bio mom with MY hairstyle. Bio mom has a boy cut & my husband hates hates hates that look & is scared she'll eventually do that to his lil one. I think she will anyways, regardless. She knows he hates it, she is constantly trying to her a rise out of him. Stepdaughter is always saying her mom doesn't want her to have long hair like me. I just say, tell your mom how you want your hair. I don't care if it's like mine or the other 10 girls in your class. Makes no difference to me.

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It's hair. Once she becomes a

It's hair. Once she becomes a teenager, she'll override her mother's decisions anyway.

Just wait it out and stay out of the crazy pool. Your DH should just shut it and stop worry about it. It's frigging hair.

^^^^ Yep! This exactly.

I have four bio daughters who

I have four bio daughters who used waist length hair but I cut my bio daughters waist length hair very short like a boys because I wanted

Also I certainly hope he's

Also I certainly hope he's not making comments about the long beautiful hair she used to have to her.

Girls are self-conscious enough without some jackass making insensitive comments because he dislikes her mother's choices.

Keep the kid out of this little tug o' war between your DH and his ex. He better be telling her how beautiful she is now.

He is sensitive to make her

He is sensitive to make her feel she's beautiful, even saying she would be gorgeous if she was bald. It's only become an issue bc step daughter comes sad that she got another hair cut because mommy thought she was beginning to look like me.

How old is your SD?? I ask

How old is your SD?? I ask because there are different ways you can spin this to her, without PAS'ing the BM and then you guys look like rock stars.

She's 7

Oh cool, that's a good age.

Oh cool, that's a good age. It sounds like she makes comments about it, so if it were my SD, I would probably say "You know, when your at this age, it's sometimes easier to have short hair. Your mom is probably just wanting it to be easy to keep clean and looking neat. I think it looks great. Hey....looks at this cool barrette, I bet it would look awesome in your hair."

This way she feels better about it. Trust me, in a few years she'll be more vocal and have more power over it. And when she's a teenager....yeah.......BM won't have any say because if she tells her no, your SD will just go to a friends how and do what she wants.

Added bonus if you compliment the the length or the decision to keep it short, it will get back to BM. Oh....Bradymom likes it short? Thinks it looks cool? Well...I'm growing it out now!

My advice will always be, stay true to your own look and don't let the BM's games get to you.

Wait until she colors it the first time. OMG...DH nearly blew a gasket. His kid has dark brown hair, Uberskank streaked it blonde. Which turned orange. Or the weekend she showed up with a nose ring. I gave DH the look and he kept his mouth shut until she asked him what he thought. He only said, hmmmmmmmmmm.....nose ring. Interesting. His kid looked stunned that he didn't have an angry reaction. I suspect Uberskank set her up for a different reaction and she didn't know what to do with his non-reaction.

There are going to be a lot of these dumb battles between the bio parents. Treat them like a food fight stay low so you don't get gravy thrown in your eyes.

Not at all

I had my three step

I had my three step daughters waist length hair cut very short like boys

short hair is easy to care of

FYI - I've had this

FYI - I've had this conversation multiple times with my own DH over hair, clothes, nose rings, ear rings, etc.

I told him to leave it and not comment. The more he reacts, the better Uberskank (the BM) feels. She loves pissing him off.

So whenever his kid showed up with anything weird or unusual, he would keep his comments neutral and only when she asked him about it. He learned not to react.

I recommend the same for your DH. Sometimes our DH are clueless when it comes to passive aggressive games they play.

Great advice. Thank you.

You're welcome. I wish I

You're welcome. I wish I could show you a picture of DH's kid then and now. What a difference. Uberskank was always encouraging DH's kid to push the limits. Now she's fairly conservative, keeps her curly hair long and dyed it back to it's natural color. Her nose ring is very, very small. She changed her mind about gaging her ear piercings.

There's HOPE!

I can't figure out if this is

I can't figure out if this is creepy or crazy.

He wants his wife to cut her hair so that his little girl can have long hair again. :? Why is he so hung up on daughter's hair.

Because she comes crying that

Because she comes crying that her mom gets her hair cut constantly. Her hair is very fine & with every hair cut it looks pitiful & she just pulls at it, upset.

He's playing with fire. He's

He's playing with fire.

He's about t o teach her that crying to one parent about the other, will get her what she's wants. Right now it's just hair. Teach her this important lesson and it will grow to expensive clothes,expensive phones, toys, dating, cars....

*****

Not really

I will say no

Everyone is wayyy to focused

Everyone is wayyy too focused on this little girl's hair. The obsession that men have with long hair makes girls feel inadequate if they don't meet that male standard of beauty. And in this case, it's making BM use the girl's hair as a weapon.

And your SO has the gall to suggest that you cut yours so that his daughter can have long hair again, because HE thinks it's beautiful?

Ugh, this poor girl is going to have serious body image issues with her parents pulling her in every direction. How about someone letting her know that a) she gets to decide how she likes her hair and b) her looks aren't the most important thing about her?

This is an old post but i

This is an old post but i cannot imagine my SO telling me to cut my hair off on the chance it somehow coaxes BM to let his daughter grow hers out and be pretty again. Lol it's the cinderella story for the modern age - the SM is the family whipping boy. Creepy as hell.

I didn't even notice it was

I didn't even notice it was old, lol - I try not to comment on old posts. I wondered who all the new people posting were.

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My hairstyle is not your concern biofreak!

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