My boyfriend’s 30th birthday is coming up. What should be a simple task: planning a surprise party, has turned into a high school drama disaster event. In my first entry, I tried to explain the childishness of some of his family members and friends. Unfortunately I think I made him inadvertently look like the bad guy and while I do sometimes consider leaving and living a much less complicated life, it is obvious that I’m not going to. He is a really good guy and although he does hate the drama his friends create, they are still his friends.

A good example of this drama is the disaster of a surprise party that I attempted to plan that never got off the ground. I asked his best friend, J, for help planning this party for my boyfriend. I then made the mistake of asking him what to do about bio mom as my boyfriend doesn’t really care for her, nor do I, but bio mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer at the age of 26. Now to most people, this wouldn’t even be something they have to ask about as even though they feel bad for her, neither of us like her so why would we invite her. The reason is his friends are petty enough that because she is not invited, they would either a) invite her to tag along or b) not go in protest. Also, I’m sure it makes me look like quite the bitch to his friends that I don’t want to invite her especially when she has cancer and wants to desperately become friends now, because in their eyes, we should all be best friends! His best friend apparently mentioned this conversation to L.

L is one of bio mom’s best friend’s, who for some reason, can’t understand that I don’t like bio mom. For example, at L’s sister’s wedding to my boyfriend’s other best friend, she told us that bio mom was not invited because no one liked her and I would get to sit at a table with J since my boyfriend had to sit at the head table with the wedding party. The night of the wedding while I’m picking up my table assignment, I realized that not only was bio mom invited, but L had put me at her table and not anywhere near J. Rather than make a scene (which I believe I would have been entitled to) I put up with bio mom trying to be my friend all night and was polite and stayed during the whole wedding.

So J mentioned to L my situation, but didn’t tell me. He just mentioned that L wanted to talk to me one day and to call her. Since I never talk to L aside from when I see her, I was curious what she wanted so I called her from work and she starts telling me that J said I wanted to invite bio mom to my boyfriends party, but I wasn’t sure if she would feel up to it. She then said that J had said that my boyfriend hates her and I hate her and is this true because (and this was my favorite part) she had been talking to bio mom who said she felt like I hate her, but that couldn’t be true, because I’m not that kind of person. So I’m a bad person for not liking bio mom who has done enough for me to not like her (i.e. myspace drama before I even knew her, telling people I stole her boyfriend, telling everyone she meets that I wanted to go to her baby shower). I was too shocked to say anything. I just said I was at work and would call her later to discuss it as I had just called to make sure there weren’t any emergencies or anything. I have yet to call her back. I just couldn’t believe that she wanted me to call her for that. Maybe I’m being petty, but I don’t feel like I should have to get along with bio mom just because she’s friends with everyone else. I ended up nixing the party plans because his friend hasn’t followed through on renting a hall like he said he would, but now I’m not sure I even want to plan a party with these people. I ended up having to tell my boyfriend a shortened version of the encounter so if L says something to bio mom, who will inevitably bring it up, he’s prepared. He says he doesn’t want a party, but I think he just wants to keep me from having to deal with the petty drama like this. But it is his 30th birthday and he does deserve to have some kind of party for his birthday. I’m not sure what to do, but I must say I feel a little better sharing this latest installment in bad party planning.