I realized something last night. My MIL has had all of her grandchildren over to her house to spend the night or just hang out...except BS. DH and I talked about it and we both agree that MIL's involvement in the lives of all of her grandchildren is fairly negligent, but BS is consistently ignored by her. And yes, BS is my sone with DH, so he is her biological grandchild.
In fact, MIL will call BM for Skids and ask her to bring them over to her house. Whereupon BM will dump off her kids for as long as MIL wants. Then MIL will proceed to talk mad sh** about BM, because they didn't even get along when she was married to DH...but when I call MIL, even for something small like to ask a question, she rarely even bothers to answer the phone.
It would make sense if I didn't get along with MIL, but we get along very well. If she ever wanted to see BS, she'd just have to call and I'd bring him by.
My parents, DH and I and MIL all live in the same town. My parents come over fairly regularly, my mom watches him when I work on the weekends, even my dad, who had a stroke a few years ago, offers to watch BS when I run small errands and he comes over to hang out with him often. My parents also treat SKs very well, they never forget them on holidays or their birthdays and they come by to see them often as well.
MIL offered to watch BS once, cancelled at the last minute and I got the hint and haven't offered again. Also, as I previously said, she never even asks me to bring him over when I can stay and take care of him. I don't treat her like a free babysitter as BM does.
So maybe this is unfair, but my conclusion is this. When I do see MIL, she drills me on when the last time we had SKs was, how they're doing, if I've spoken to them recently. I think from now on I'm going to respectfully refuse to answer those questions. Instead, I might politely inquire, "Oh, when's the last time you saw BS?"
It's her choice if she wants to be a part of my son's life and I can't make her, but I've had enough of her casting her stones on my step parenting and consistanly treating her other grandchildren better than she treats BS.