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DH, you're pretty much no different than BM...or Richie Incognito's dad.

boogeymom's picture

So, I know there are WAY more SM's on here than SD's, but I'm hoping other ladies are like me and like the football (American). Anyway, when this whole thing with Richie Incognito and the Miami Dolphins blew up this week, DH was the first one to say that this is what happens when spoiled brat no-account kids grow up to be spoiled brat no-account adults (which I agree with...and sorry, but Incognito has been suspended or kicked-off of every team he's ever played on, so it's not just a Dolphins thing). He was especially irritated when he heard that his dad was talking all kinds of shit about Martin, pretty much excusing Richie from having to own up to anything he's done. DH likes to talk a lot of talk about how these parents don't hold their kids accountable for anything they do (BM is always comes up during this topic of conversation), and that's why kids these days are rotten and now this new generation of young adults are failing in life.

Fast forward to yesterday, when DH gets the call from SS12's bus driver that he has landed himself a 10-day suspension from riding the bus for harassing another kid. He also got an 8-point violation (I guess they're allowed 10 points per year before they're permanently unable to take the bus anymore...so he only has 2 points left, and we're only in early November). This does not surprise me because SS12 has negative amounts of self-control and everyone has always thought his antics and shenanigans were HYSTERICALLY funny in the past (except for me), so not only has he never learned to control himself, but he's actually had his out-of-control behavior reinforced before. So, understandably, DH was really pissed and texted me about how SS12 is in DEEEEP trouble this weekend, and how he had all these plans to put him to work and make him clean the back AND front yards, and the only technology he'd be allowed would be the light switches and the microwave. I was excited because I thought finally, DH is going to really do something about his obnoxious kid's behavior...until the evening time when he texted me that after hearing SS's side of the story, he's not so sure he actually did it because "things weren't adding up." Probably because SS12 was LYING about it. Then, my bubble burst, and I realized that it was just going to end up being an entire weekend of SS12 getting away with yet another thing he needed to have consequences for. DH said he called and left a message that he wants to see the video from the bus (fine), but they don't go back to school again until Tuesday, and I'll bet he just conveniently forgets to contact the school about the bus video. Either that, or he'll see it, it will undoubtedly prove that yes, indeed, SS12 was harassing this kid on the bus, and then he'll use the old "well, it's kind of too late to do anything about it now, but if it happens again" excuse to get out of it. Meanwhile, SS12 just learned that he can get away with harassing kids on the bus, and the only punishment he gets is having to have grandma drive him to school instead since BM will just pawn her parenting duties off on her like always. Is it bad that I hope one day SS12 does something to get himself in trouble with the law, just so every other adult in his life will finally have to face up to the fact that their precious tow-headed little dimpled angel is actually the devil in disguise?

Comments

Aeron's picture

Oh sweetie... Even if this kid gets caught on tape murdering someone, ostrich, guilty, Disney parents still find a way for it to not be Their kid's fault. "They've always been such a good kid" that of Course it's not Really their fault. The victim will be blamed for provoking the precious, the divorce will be blamed, the other parent, the schools, the teachers, video games, Whatever. There will be a never ending list of others who are at fault so far as BM and your DH are concerned in all likelihood.

boogeymom's picture

BM lives with her mom, and that's where the skids live during the school week and EOW, so it's grandma taxi service because BM will sucker her mom who doesn't work or have anything else to do into driving him, so actually, if he gets those last 2 points, it'll be grandma taxi for the rest of the school year and BM won't even have to experience the natural consequence of her own kid's behavior by getting him there herself. LOL, NO SS12 wouldn't DREAM of lifting a finger to do anything. EVER. I'm also a big believer in natural consequences, so I'm trying not to let this drive me up the wall since I really have nothing to do with it. Not my kid, not my problem...and it makes me even MORE glad I'm not having kids of my own, really. PS, I'm a teacher, and when parents don't believe the things I tell them about their kids, it really grinds my gears and DH should know this by now. A 10-day suspension isn't given for nothing, even if it's not EXACTLY as the bus driver said, it was still enough for his ass to get suspended from the bus for 10 days. Oh yeah, I've checked out, I don't care WHAT he and BM decide to do with him (therapy was already tried, but it lasted 2 sessions before BM got lazy and decided she didn't feel like taking him anymore). If I had MY way, he'd WALK his ass to school for the rest of the year, INCLUDING winter.

twoviewpoints's picture

Your Dh is being a delusional turd. Does he honestly believe the school who issue the bus penalty didn't already watch the video themselves? They handed out an 8 point penalty for whatever the violation they saw was. Does Dh really think he's going to view the video, see that the school is mistaken in what they saw and Junior is being unfairly accused? It's video taped. It's not a mistake. It's not a 'kids word verses another kids word' thing, or witnesses being untruthful.

The kid has Sunday and Monday left of the weekend. Plenty of time to still get out there and do that yard work and to have his whatever taken away. Ok, ok, even if Dad insist on still viewing video on Tuesday, kid should still have the home penalty for misbehaving on the bus regardless of exactly what happened or who started what. That video obviously caught something...unless of course DH wants to next try the excuse that the school altered the tape? (rolls eyes)

If Dad doesn't start taking these incidents seriously he'll be sitting there soon trying to justify why poor little jr got expelled from the district and how surely the district 'framed' the kid because Junior says that's not how it happened.

boogeymom's picture

ABSOLUTELY. That's why I have officially stepped out, period, end of story. It's what I think vs. DH, BM, and their ENTIRE families. DH comes by being an ostrich honestly, so does BM, they both come from a LONG line of nothing ever being their fault-type of people. Very frustrating for me. So, now my natural consequence for DH will be to just sit back, stop helping or suggesting things, and watch that entire family either fail or succeed in raising these two little brats from the 9th circle of Hell. It's been REALLY hard at first, I've only been truly checked-out for maybe a month and a half or so, and I still grind my teeth over them, but I know it'll get easier over time, and it'll be better in the long run for DH, both for him to finally take the reins, and for our marriage to be a little less stressful EOW in the long run. I want to think he'll rise to the occasion, and I do believe he will, but not until after he hits rock bottom with the skids first.

luchay's picture

Oh yes, we have had that - not the bus but ss10 a couple of weeks ago was sent to the principle for acting out in class and some sort of altercation with a girl and another boy - I never could get the full story (we all know how that one goes)

Anyway, SOMETHING went on, and ss10 was the ONLY one sent to spend the rest of the day in the principles office. Now the teachers and principle don't just take it to this level on a bloody whim do they?

But SS10 says he didn't do anything wrong, they were picking on him (yada yada yada BS BS BS) and Daddy believes him!! It was all a mistake on the teachers part and the other two kids SHOULD have got in trouble NOT SS....

FML

boogeymom's picture

Well, it's like I said, hopefully SS12 will fall afoul of the law someday in the future and lessons will be learned...I hope. It's like Sweet Pea said, jail birds in training. If he ever DOES get arrested, it's gonna be really funny when he realizes that the cops aren't playing with him as he gets tossed in the back of the prowler, and his face is just going to collapse. It's going to be even funnier when BM calls DH to go bail him out since she won't have the money to do it...and that I DO know DH will stick to, because he hates paying for stuff. Wink