Letter to my children  (Not really sending it.)

You should be my avatar, my spouse should be my twin. 

If we could get an understanding of positions in our life, maybe we could eliminate a lot of hard feelings and estrangements. 

You are my child, an extension of myself, my blood relative, my avatar.  I want you to succeed at life, have comfort, love, happiness, a roof over your head, food on your shelves, clean water and maybe children of your own someday if you want.  I helped you with these things until you were grown, and now I want to sit back and watch you achieve these things on your own.  I want to be your biggest fan when you reach each adult milestone!  Your successes feel like my successes and I am so happy for you.  I want to admire you with each challenge that you overcome!  I want to praise you with each of your goals that you reach.  I want to hear your stories of your adventures and your navigation through hills and valleys of your adult life.  

(Name) is my spouse, an extension of myself, should not be my blood relative ever, my twin.  ( ) will be the one sitting by me at most moments, eating food off twin plates next to each other, the other body beside me each night, the person walking next to me wherever I go, the person holding hands with me, the person looking back at me, the person I share a toilet with, the person I plan meals, dental appointments, grooming appointments, vacations, transportation arrangements and money with.  When ( ) smiles, I smile, when ( ) is sad, I am sad.  We reflect each other and as time goes by, after we mimic each others facial expressions, eat the same food and exchange DNA back and forth, we will eventually operate as twins.  This is how I would like to live with my soulmate, ( ).  

I don't want to be alone in my life, I want to be with my soulmate.  I don't want you to be alone in your life, I want you to be with your soulmate.  If you don't have  soulmate yet, this is your time to run around achieving your goals and bucket list.  If I didn't have a soulmate, it would be my time to run around achieving my goals and bucket list.  

When you and I are in the same area, I want to share food with you and exchange information.  I want us both to bring together a meal and beverage, of whatever we have or want, a potluck or snack, to share and enjoy together, as we download the laughs and tears of what we missed from each others adventures while we were away from each other.  Sometimes there will be two plates for me and you.  When ( ) is there, there will be 3 plates.  when you find your soulmate, there will be 4 plates.  Sometimes 7 plates or more when grandparents are in town or you have children or aunts or uncles or friends come for a meal.  I love all of my family and want to eat food with them.  

I don't ever spend my time thinking about how I can get your money, possessions and resources for myself, not even if you were to die.  You are my avatar, not my twin.  I want your money, possessions and resources to be used for the longevity of you and your offspring.  I want you to want my money, possessions and resources to be used for the longevity of my life.  I have designated money, possessions or resources to help with the longevity of your life after I am gone, to be disclosed at that time to avoid our love and affections being persuaded to have a money motivator on our relationship.  I have designated money possessions or resources to help with the longevity of my spouse after I am gone. 

My face is going to want to be in your face and my face is going to want to be in ( )'s face.  Your face is not going to want to be in ( )'s face, and eventually might not want to be in my face, because ( )'s face is going to be there, and we will both be smiling to see your face and that might grate on your nerves.  The problem is, someday, when you find your soulmate, your new soulmates smiling face will be twins next to your smiling face, and the recollection of how you treated my soulmates smiling face may taint how I treat your soulmates smiling face.  

I wont want to spend much time hashing over who does what to who, or whose fault it is.  I wont want to spend much time talking about why you do not get to have your biological parents be soulmates, and why they are not  both smiling at you instead, and whose fault it is that they are not.  I wouldn't want you to have to spend much time telling your kids why their biological parents could not be soulmates if they were not. 

I want you to love me and care about my longevity and be happy that I have my soulmate and twin next to me most of the time. I want you to show me the love and affection that an adult child should show to a parent, even if you don't agree how I operate my life.  I want to show you the love and affection that a parent should show to an adult child, even if  I don't agree with how you operate your life.  

I know that you and I share the same blood.  Your other parent and I do not share the same blood.  My spouse and I do not share the same blood. You and your soulmate will not share the same blood.  Not being blood related to your soulmate will not keep you from being family with your soulmate.  If you have children, they will share the same blood with you.  Your soulmate will not share blood with you, same as my soulmate and your other parent will not share blood with me.  Humans need to integrate non blood related partners into the family.  Thats why your soulmate and my soulmate will be our family.  

When I hope for our future, I want to have our family reunions all together, being kind to one another, sharing food, and stories, with no estrangements, and no grudges, and no lumps in throats, and no akwardness, and no unspoken misunderstandings or misinterpretations of who slighted who, and I want my avatar and my twin to both be there.  I would hope that you would want that too.