Extremely irritable. Out of love
So here I am home early from work. I went to take a nap before all he'll breaks loose w SS8. SO is home working from home. He comes in to wake me up. I tell him I'm an adult and I will do as I please not bothering him. I just finished all the laundry and dishes. I woke up worked out a little and I wish I could shake these feelings of extreme irritation. I don't care that today and yesterday he decides he wants credit for treating me how he should have all along. I'm not passing out gold stars. I also don't like that I have to be a cold bitch to get attention. His child was a pain in the ass all yesterday even though he was supposed to be grounded and I was proud of myself for how I handled the two of them. No one hands me our appreciation of awards for putting up with their crap. Mostly it gets ignored and taken for granted. I worked out till I made myself tired. I will try again here on a minute so I can get rid of some of the negativity before spawn of satan arrives home. It takes a lot of patience to 1) act appropriately. 2) not be head bitch nor head doormat 3) pretend like his efforts are worth something after the arguments where he's a dick and clearly not living in reality. 4) have my efforts questioned.
Help me get thru this week without going off. Please.
I don't wanna just take shots on inclement weather days.
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I have now calmed down
I have now calmed down
Right? Or completely
Right? Or completely neglectful. Oh you're gonna acknowledge my existence today. Great. So glad he could be bothered to do so without actually complaining about it. TODAY only. And yesterday. Hmmm 2 days out of a year. Yep the deserves a metal
Oh boy...can I relate to
Oh boy...can I relate to this...we get my SD only once a month (thankfully) and DH will complain to anyone who will listen that he wishes to have her more...but then spends half an afternoon napping on the couch when she's there. Until recently he worked Saturdays so I was lucky enough to be home with her all day on Saturdays and then watch him sleep away the after afternoons on Sundays. If I had a headache and wanted to lay down, I was told (after SD was gone) that she thinks I've avoiding her. WTF! I just spent 12 hours in the same room with her since she can't be trusted not to go on the computer or use her cell phone to chat with people she shouldn't be. I work 12 hour days and I get tired. I don't need permission to lay down for a nap. I do it on the weekends she's not here as well. All I do for both of them is seldom recognized. I'm not asking for a parade, but a sincere thank you once in a while would be wonderful. I do my best not to make plans when she's over..but a friend had a 40th bd party recently and I wanted to go. I didn't ask permission, just mentioned that I wanted to go for a few hours and wouldn't be home late. His response was "do you think 'sd' would like to go?" Ummmm....you just worked all day away from her and now you're trying to pass her off on me so you can have a quiet evening at home? I paused and took a deep breath before replying "it's a 40th bd party. No kids are going." Period. End of discussion...and I enjoyed my night off.
My DH and I have know each other since high school...went on to marry other people, he had a kid, we both divorced years ago and got together a few years ago (we're in our 40's now) While I know he loves me in his own weird way and does show his gratitude from time to time, he pushes an unreasonable expectation on us to be a perfect family. She and I don't get along..she's a liar and whiner and I'm DONE trying. I am civil and polite to her and only voice up during family discussions by repeating with DH says to avoid the "She said this!" that always comes later. He is scared that she will eventually stop coming all together because we have rules and consistancy in our home. I no longer beat myself up over feeling bad about it. He and I only fight just before her visits. Usually something stupid. I know it's his own stress of her coming and he's looking for a way to release it. I'm just tired of if being released on me.
You are not alone my friend! You are not a bad person for it!