Haven't been on here in a while because I've been trying to resolve my issues on my own.
I've been doing pretty ok, few setbacks here and there but other than that, it's been pretty nice; we've even started feeling more like a family (strange, I know, but true).
My BS4 has visitation EOWE starting Fridays, like this Friday...which is Halloween. Sucks that X had him last year too but whatever, it happens I guess. The problem usually is that DH always has to work on that day and since he works late, he usually doesn't get a chance to take SD7 or BS trick-or-treating with me. This year I asked him ahead of time (like two weeks and a half) if maybe he could switch to work in the morning and get out earlier than he usually does, while working the same amount of hours. He's done this before so I Know it can be done. He told me he was pretty sure he could and he would ask his coworkers if that was ok with them (since the manager usually cannot be found and apparently doesn't care what goes on).
So...he told me about a week ago that a friend from HS wanted to go trick-or-treating with his daughter as well as with SD and BS. I told DH that would be nice but we have visitation, there wouldn't be enough time unless he came down to the city (we live in the suburbs, about an hour or more in traffic) since that's where I have to drop off BS. Since I'm the one who picks up SD, it made sense, to me anyway, that I go pick her up and head towards the city while he got out from work and headed in the same direction. That way we'd be able to go trick-or-treating all together (since we've both been wanting to do this and haven't had a chance) as well as spend some time with my family since we haven't seen them in about two weeks (that's what we usually do)...

WELL NOW...TODAY DH tells me what if MIL picks up SD and he go pick her up after he gets out of work so he and SD can go trick-or-treating with his HS buddy and his daughter.......................I was confused. I asked him "but how would BS and I be able to go if we have visitation?..." and as I asked it dawned on me that he had thought about this already and had made his decision. Without me. Because his follow up answer was an immediate "well you guys wouldn't be able to make it but when we're done we'll head down there and hang out with your family...I mean, it sucks that he's not going to be able to go with us but...can't really do anything about it..."
He always makes it a point to want to do things together as a "family" and he knows how hard that is especially with his schedule...that is why i am the planner, i plan ahead and make sure we all can do something together that hopefully won't be in the way of something else. I think about everyone and try to make it as comfortable and doable as possible...I just...am pissed off that he would just make arrangements completely without me and...sigh...idunno...just thought he would be as considerate of me and my son the way I am more than considerate with him and his daughter...
I know...I know this is what I signed up for (although not really because I didn't know how much SD was like MIL, in other words, DIFFICULT) but I married the guy, I offered to take care of his kid, and I'm also taking care of him because I do everything around here! I do everything around here for everyone! I'm not complaining, I don't want any thanks, I just want some consideration!! Is that really so hard to do??? I do it ALL. THE. TIME...sigh...and before people start in on me I am NOT against DH spending time with his friends nor am I against DH spending time with SD...it's just the simple fact that we always always try to do things together...and he gets upset when I tell him to go hang out with his daughter, especially when my son isn't with us...I don't understand...
Sigh...ok...rant over...let me go back out there and pretend everything is fine...