Does anyone remember the show Kate and Allie?
It was popular during the 80s and featured two straight single mothers who decided to live together for financial purposes. Anyways, that's what my marriage feels like. We are two single parents living together. My husband is like a roommate. At this point, I'm not even sad or disappointed about it.
When we first married I tried to blend our families together but after being told repeatedly to butt out - I got the message. Now I don't try to control or change any situation that comes up. I just keep to myself with my boys. I have no idea what his plans are on any given day, nor do I care or let it affect me.
It makes me sad to see so many awesome women struggling on this board - trying to change these men. They're not going to change... don't you see how futile it all is? Just put the focus back on YOURSELF.
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well then you got the last
well then you got the last good man.
Unfortunately, even with
Unfortunately, even with skids and bio out on their own and all grown up, I STILL sometimes feel like a roommate to my DH. Only because of one thing. He never goes to visit my family when I go. And I am not exaggerating. We have been together for over 14 years and he has been to my parents' house (EVER) twice. Only once on a holiday.
So my bio and I go by ourselves. I feel like the single mother I was before I met him!
yup, family events are on my
yup, family events are on my own with my boys. when I am forced to host them (which I try really hard not to do), sometimes DH will be off doing things with his own kids. If he doesn't have his kids, he will go mow the lawn or go lie down or something. He may come out and socialize for an hour MAX. My friends and family are all convinced that he hates them. I try to explain that he's like that all the time.
we take separate vacations too hahahaha
I thought my H had changed,
I thought my H had changed, but on some level he was still wishing for a level of emotional involvement I don't have. That ship has sailed. He doesn't rub it in my face on a regular basis that I'm not SM of the year like some of the men on here do, but it seems like there's a feeling of disparity that's always in the back of our minds even if we don't talk about it. I'm done with being disappointed in myself over it. Who I am as a person doesn't naturally mesh with who my SS is as a person. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with me and nobody gets to make me feel like it is. Great advice Blending.