Supper out with my BFF
After H's rant and rave at me this morning, my best girlfriend called and asked me to go to dinner with her tonite. We decided to go out of town and have a steak. 
So, before we left, H called. I told him we were going to supper-and then he started apologizing for the things he said, making excuse-like oh, work is hard, boss is on him, etc. I know his game. He didn't want me telling my gf the things he is doing here.
Of course I told her :evil:. And she listened. Thing is, her sister married a guy who, just like H, turned from being a loving fiance, to a monster the very day they married. Her sis is now deceased (cancer), but she went thru much what I go thru with H, minus the skids.
A couple of years ago, gf was dating a spray pilot. I met him one evening when he asked to take us both out for dinner. He was very galant-kissing my hand, etc. I felt very uncomfortable for my gf. They broke it off shortly after that...seems he was wanting to date me, and she had no problem with it. I did. Told him I couldn't possibly date someone who had boinked my best gf 
Anyway, she decided to tell him what has been going on in this farce of a marriage-and he's ready to come beat the crap out of H :jawdrop: He's worried H will get violent...
Hope this fella can keep his cool and stay away. The last thing I need here is a showdown.
I find it so manipulative of H, tho. Trying to apologize-because he knows I'm going out with a friend and he wants his nasty behavior kept secret.
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Comments
I Can't Keep Up
I just finshed posting on the last blog you had and then I see this one.
If H doesn't want you to talk about his atrocious behavour to your GF then he should treat you better so you would only have nice things to say about him.
As for your girlfriends friend, we would all love to beat the crap out of your H but it doesn't mean we are actually going to come there and do it, although very very very tempting. If this guy is mature I think he would stay away as it's not his place to step in and protect you.
Chin up hun and Take Care
Ok, Dani. I slowed down-now H nearly blew up tonite
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
I mean literally blew up. The apartment is over the shop where he works out of. There are three large propane trucks parked in the shop at nite. It seems one of the trucks had a stuck gauge on it, and, unknown to the driver, was full. They parked it inside the shop-and went to bed. Luckily the supervisor went downstairs-the propane had expanded in the warm shop, and the safety valve went off, spewing propane into the building. Where there is a furnace. Which could easily have sparked the propane, and blown them all up (3 trucks holding 500 gallons of propane).
I'm glad he's safe. While I no longer have an interest in being married to this man, I don't wish him bodily harm at all.
And I'm going to have to speak with my gf and emphasize that in no way do I want that pilot showing up or threatening H. I suspect she told him all because she sees how unhappy I am in this relationship, thinking having a man waiting for me on the outside will make me feel better. It doesn't, and I'm not interested. Not interested in any man at this time, may never be interested in one again.
I'm again, just glad H is safe. Regardless of how he thinks I need to be treated (mistreated).
I
wish that he DID blow up! You may be glad that he's safe (even if he treats you so badly) but I'm not as forgiving to a man who can't even RESPECT the woman he's with.
Anyway. I just can't believe how controlling that man is. Don't do this, don't do that. Wear this, wear that. I don't like him at all, bewitched. If propane can't do the job, I will... with my bazooka.
There Are Happy Widows
I will just bet there are a lot of happy widows out there. Had a gf and about 2 years ago I went on vacation and her husband shot himself which was a total shock to us all. But looking back he was controling, selfish and a sob like many of the s/o's we hear about on this board. I only think she should have toned it down for a little bit longer after he died, I mean it was pretty blantant how happy she was, lol. Got a boob job, went on a cruise and paid off their pool. She always wanted a better life, but felt trapped by finances like a lot of women, the only problem is she met another idiot whose been married twice with kids from both women. Were hoping she doesn't waste anymore time with him, and enjoys life with gf's and no more losers.
A lot of women repeat their mistakes instead of improving themselves, and look to the next man to bail them out. :sick:
Vick, I'm scared of that too
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
So that's why I'm on here so much. So I can just hold my tongue,(something I've never been good at) not say what I want to say, what needs to be said to him. I think if I did, he'd bash me. So I just post on here constantly...somedays too much. But I get so much rage built up in me at his bullying, at his "everything is about him and sd's and nothing is about me and mine"
You guys on here, letting me just let it out whenever I need to, are the only reason I manage to keep my mouth shut and avoid a physical assualt. That and the fact that he works so far away.
So, thanks, gals & guys.
I have learned to back down too
just to keep my sanity and this site has helped me realize to pick my battles, some you will never win, some you have to wait for the right opportunity and some you just have ta.
but most of all I learned that it aint all my fault.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
that is so true sarahb
that quote pretty much sums up the life of a stepparent...
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
That's the thing, isn't it sarahb? Knowing we're
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
not the crazy ones-knowing it isn't all our fault. Even if we can't force the issue, can't make them treat us right (isn't that pathetic-to feel you'd have to make your own H treat you right)
at least we know in our hearts and souls, and thanks to the reinforcement we get on here, that we've not gone mental.
Welllll
maybe a little mental! LOL
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."