Remeber the bling shoes?-Weekend from Hell part 2
I'm so glad to be back on here! H finally left-it was Thur, Fri, Sat., Sun & today from Hell. That's how long he was here. It was horrible. I posted about him critizing everything I did this weekend-and throwing the trash on the floor-well, I can only tell you it got worse.
After the episdoe with the trash on the floor, he had the nerve to ask me to put the $4,000.00 in back taxes HE owes on HIS house on MY credit card! I refused, and the fight ensued. I'm a horrible wife because when he got home on Thursday I was in the kitchen cooking supper for HIM, and did not run to the door to greet him (very small house-you can see the front door from the kitchen). How horrible of me. And I still want to paint the ceiling (it's blue) because we painted the walls tan and it looks terrible-again, how horrible of me. Then he started spouting off that it's not working (us as a couple) he wants a legal seperation. I told him forget it-I don't believe in separation, if he wants a divorce to get the hell out of my house. That really pissed him off then-oh, says he, we'll just split things-he'll take what's his and leave. I told him not until he brings back my things-then he said, no attorney, nothing, just split. I let him know that if we divorce I'm sure as hell getting an attorney. Of course he didn't like that. So then he starts all this lets not fight, i love you baby. Yeah, right. That was Friday & Sat.
Next comes Sunday. He has his daughters over-goes to the store, buys the food they want, cooks it (you all taught me about that one!). Then of course I clean it up. So he says to his daughters-get ready to go see grandma (she's in a nuring home 30 miles away). I had asked him Friday to help me clean off the roofs (we have a flat roof and so do my parents-I get on top & clean them off every fall). So I just go out to clean them myself. He finally showed up after dad (stroke victim) and I got the ladder out of the garage. So H held the ladder while I climed up on top of the roofs and cleaned them both. I'm very small-108 lbs, 5'1". He's 6'1", 250 lbs. Some man, isn't he?
After cleaning the rooves, raking up and cleaning the junk, I go back into the house to clean up to go see his mother. SD17 is sleeping on the couch; SD13 is sleeping in MY bed! Sunday, I mopped, did laundry, cleaned up lunch, cleaned the roofs, and he just lets his precious darlings sleep. They did not set the table, they did not do the dishes-he did not tell them to do one thing. Not one. So off we go to visit his mother. I notice SD17 has on shoes exactly like the new ones H bought himself Thursday before coming home. So I ask. Did you buy SD17 shoes to match yours? Can you all believe this?!!! To make up for SD13's bling shoes SD17 was so mad about, he went out and bought SD17 and himself matching shoes!!!! And then today has the nerve to tell me we've got to be careful with money and no extra spending now. Yeah, sure. We just sent $500.00 to a lawyer last week for a bill he had not paid from FOUR years ago. We spent $1,200 on his pickup this weekend. SD13 was taken shopping last weekend, SD17 was taken shopping the weekend before, and now he buys her and himself matching shoes-I haven't spent one extra dime on myself other than groceries. But since H and his daughters have all nice new things, it's time to stop any discretionary spending! I'm boiling. Again. I'm so upset, I can't even think straight.
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I can't believe it.
I havn't logged on for afew days (been so busy) and I can't believe everything that has happened in your situation, I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
That's it hun, you really need to tell him to get out. I can't believe your DH is being like this, what is wrong with him.
You certainly don't deserve to be treated this way. The fact that you had to get up on the roof instead of him offering made me sick :sick:.
You deserve to get your car back and anything else he or the girls have that is yours. He basically needs to understand that if you are not going to be treated with respect by him and his girls then they deserve nothing from you. If they are not going to help around the house or at least pick and clean up after themselves then they should be no longer welcome in YOUR HOUSE until they show some respect.
As for the money side of things, does he realise that he has done the unnessasary spending not you?
I'm here for you hun. Be strong, stand your ground, and don't take shit from anyone.
Your a beautiful, wonderful woman with a huge heart, you deserve better and he wont realise what his has until it's gone.
)))))HUGS((((((
Thanks Dani-I've kept hoping things would improve
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
but nothing I do is right. Not one thing. If I vacuum, he says I'm doing it to make him feel guilty. I covered the airconditioner Friday as cold air was blowing in...again, according to him I did it to make him feel guilty. Him throwing the eggshells and salt on the floor for me to clean up, tho, and expecting me to put his $4,000 debt on my credit card...well, those two things alone have pushed me too far. I will be talking to an attorney. Hopefully one can see me tomorrow. This is a sham, not a marriage.
And why in the world would a 44 yr old man buy matching shoes for himself and his 17 yr old daughter? That doesn't even make sense. Even if she was jealous of her 13 yr old sisters' shoes. :puzzled:
I can't understand why he
I can't understand why he would buy matching shoes, it doesn't seem right that's for sure. This mans relationship with his daughter is just disturbing. He is going to find himself a very lonely man when SD17 finally meets someone that she wants to be with and daddy loses his little girl.
I'm just so sorry that this marriage didn't work out for you especially after everything you went through during your first marriage.
This is only going to make you a much stronger person. Speak to your attorney and do what's best for you cause no one else is looking out for you.
Take charge and kick him to the curb were he belongs.
Bewitched- this is too bizarre
In the other thread, I noted to you that his behavior was getting increasingly bizarre as the weeks progressed- and this "matching shoe" story just proves my point! WTF????
He is CLEARLY taking a passive-aggressive stance with you on this one. Matching shoes for a teen daughter and her father?? Who ever heard of something SOOOOO ridiculous and creepy????
I think he is absolutely pushing you to see how much you will take. I personally wouldn't take much more. But I can't tell you what to do. I know you have money issues here and other considerations, but sometimes enough is just enough.
Can you start to "stash some cash" little by little and start hiding it away so he doesn't notice? If he's going to start playing games with money, now's the time to start protecting yourself. I could definitely see him getting "ugly" and taking things and leaving you high and dry in an instant. Protect yourself now, Bewitched, while he's away.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Do you even love this man?
Do you even love this man? If so, can you guys go to counseling? If not, go talk to a lawyer! One way or another you've got to make a change, and fast!
Just because you CAN give birth, doesn't mean you SHOULD
Melis-I don't know if I do any more
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
I can tell you that i loved him when we married; but since then, it's been a downhill roll. He used to (before marriage) treat me as tho he respected me. I even felt kindof bad for both of his daughters, as he would spend so much time when he was back here on days off from work, with me.
But I don't know how you continue to love someone who is constantly putting you down, someone who you try so hard to please, but is never satisfied. Someone who lets you know so clearly that your emotions and feelings have no importance to them. Do I love him? No. Not now. I did.
From the legal standpoint, I have very little hope there. Because of the short amount of time we've been married, support is unlikely as he would never voluntarily agree to it. And I am now further in debt than I was prior to our marriage.
So, the legal advice I received, is unless he becomes physically violent, concentrate on my future and just try to get thru the days he's here best I can. I am really lucky in one respect-he's not here every day.
Online classes for Anatomy & Phys. & Med. Term. begin in January. I can concentrate on taking those, so I can get enrolled in the Respiratory Therapy program at the small college here. And have a brighter future if he does not change; if he is totally unwilling to get help.
I honestly believe one of the reasons he treats me the way he now does, is that I do not have a job. At his insistance, I quit when we got married (he wanted me to be able to travel to his work site, he wanted to come home to be pampered, not to a wife at work.)
I've gotten pretty good at reading into what he's thinking-he's all for me going to school. Read that this way-if I go to school and can land a high paying (compared to what I can make without the degree) job, then he will be able to quit the oil fields and I can pay the bills. I have no problem working-and in fact, going to school is the only thing that gives me hope. But I will not, never, support his children. He's ruined any thought of that by his behavior for the past 6 months.