SS21's Drinking

So SS21 has been hitting it hard since he turned 21. DH and I didn't really think much about, just thought it was a phase.

DH was talking to BM last night regarding SS16 and she brought up SS21. Apparently SS21 was drinking alone at BM's house (where he is living for the summer) Saturday night. He got sick and threw-up in the hallway between his room and the bathroom and didn't bother to clean it up. When BM questioned him about it SS21 just told her he got up too fast and was dizzy. Don't know if BM addressed the vomit and cleaning up after yourself though.

I told DH that that kind of behavior is not going to fly with me. SS21 is supposed to move back in with us for the school year in a few short weeks. DH agreed with me but I know he'll cave, he has before.

DH thinks SS21 has depression and is self medicating. I don't necessarily disagree since DH has depression and is on meds for it. But when we have tried to discuss depression with SS21 in the past he has blown us off. So I'm not holding my breathe that SS21 would get help this time.

~BettyRay

BettyRay's blog
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Comments

That is not ok! Your house,

That is not ok! Your house, your rules. Make these clear BEFORE he moves in. Depressed or not, leaving your puke for someone else to clean up is beyond disgusting.

If he is self medicating he

If he is self medicating he needs professional help before he turns into a full fledged alcoholic or addict. Maybe suggesting and AA meeting?

Depression

Depression runs in DH's family. DH has always discussed this with SSons. DH has made a point of telling the boys he is on meds for depression and that there is no shame in it. I have reached out to SS21 on a few occasions when I noticed signs of depression but SS21 does not want to talk or listen about getting help.

DH meeting with SS21 tonight

DH approached me last night and will e meeting with SS21 to discuss. DH wants to talk to him about his drinking and then explain to him that the behavior will not be tolerated at our house.

If your DH won't handle it,

If your DH won't handle it, then you should be proactive. Tell SS that you have heard concerning things about his drinking, and just want to make it clear that you will not allow him to drink in your home. Be upbeat, but firm. He'll either acquiesce, or make arrangements to live elsewhere.

I'll Stand My Ground

I am usually the one who is proactive, which sucks BTW, since the SSons parents should be taking the lead. Anyway, I told DH that I will not hesitate to let SS21 know the rules and the consequences of breaking these rules. Which will be SS21 getting kicked out of the house.