not getting ANY CS now :(
so a week or so ago i posted about the CS review we put in for SS who DH has custody of. they changed the amount at first, then while we away said a discrepancy was noted and that we wont get the additional but will still get the original amount. then we stopped getting the original amount but got the excess bc when the state sent the letter to BM's employer, it said a change TO $160 a month instead of AN EXTRA $160 a month.
well, now we're not getting anything 
and no one is available to help.
DH called the state dept of ss, who the modfication went thru. he was told its been turned over to the locality and gave him a contact. DH has since left, and i am not exaggerating, at least TEN messages for this bitch who has STILL not called us back. he called again today and finally got thru to someone, who said he coudl speak w a supervisor, only to get put thru to HER VM. called back the state and they wont help--said its out of their hands and the local dept is handling it.
we are at our wits end. no one cares about DH not getting CS bc hes a MAN. we all know, god forbid, that if BM2 were calling about the money she gets from him, im sure SOMEONE would give HER a ring back. the double standard is so unfair. we also still havent gotten the paperwork that we were supposed to receive so tehe process of re-reviewing likely hasnt even started, so its gonna be a while until we get the CS increase. but thats fine, we would just like the original amount back. we cannot LIVE w/o that money. now after paying my car and only our bills that we absolutely HAD to pay, we are down to $300 until the next pay on the 30th. and apparently, no one cares.
how is this fair????
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oh bella
that sucks, how awful for you!!!! We found the same thing, thank god we actually got an attorney, FH tried for months to get ahold of the *&*^*#$# case worker, let probably a hundred msgs, and got not a single call back. Oh but I bet you anything a BM calls, and it would be a whole other thing. I ended up emailing the Attorney General in the state, and his secretary immediately called me personally to discuss the situation. Maybe that's the next step?
*hugs* I'm sorry girl, I know things are so tight right now, this is the last thing you need...
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
thanks NS
maybe i will try that. i may do an "experiment" today and call myself acting like a BM and see if I get a call back...
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Ugh! I hate dealing with CS
I finally ended up filing a complaint with the citizens advocate office in the state I live in because they kept on blowing BF off and wouldn't help. It did help him some answers. Dealing with these people is so frustrating and I agree with you....if the shoe were on the other foot and it was the BM you bet she'd get her way!
So unfair
Oh he's a man so he is rich, right? right!! ha ha in our case!! Also DH hates to ever contact them because they talk to him like he is total bum - when he reported that he was laid off, they acted like it was something he did on purpose! I
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Sorry chickie!!!! That sucks!
Of course they aren't going to return your man's call - they probably think he is EVIL for even asking for money from a woman. Tit for Tat I say. If it was the other way around BM would probably have a bench warrant out for your DH even if it was the courts mistake! Hang in there and I hope it gets straightened out soon!
Feel that pain...
I have two that aren't paying their child support. Seven hundred bucks a month. CSE doesn't do much for me either. I don't think my state's enforcement are gender biased, they suck ALL the way around. Whether you're paying or receiving, man or woman. They're worthless.
I had a case worker that gave me the best advice once..."Don't ever depend on it".
So I try not to. But I do know how you feel once you've been accustomed to it.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Yep same problem here
Whenever my H calls them about something the woman never returns the call. So we told SDs BM that we called them and could not get a return call. So BM called, guess what?? they called her back the next day!! BM told the woman to call us back, that it was urgent. The woman called H back the day after that. Jeezzz, I wonder why they call the women back and not the men.
Bellacita
Out of curiosity, what reason did they give for DH getting no support? That just doesn't sound right at all. He's the custodial parent right? So he should get something in the way of CS.
I think sometimes we forget how hard it can be to be a man these days. Seems like no matter which way they turn they get screwed, and are supposed to say thank you and ask for more....
I can't believe I'm finding
I can't believe I'm finding people with the same issues. My DH and I took custody of SD15 without a court order, because she was getting severely depressed and contemplating suicide. After visits with several counselors everyone agreed that we should have custody. We took custody but never asked the BM for cs because she cries poor all the time and we thought that if we did she would lose her house. (The house that my DH built. Not only did he build it, but when the divorce came, he gave it to her without taking any $$ from his share until SD graduates from high school so at the time SD could live in it. ) Now SD doesn't want to live there and BM acts like we have everything and she has nothing. She kept the house, though! It drives me crazy and I'm starting to get so bitter. I call the school to talk about SD, mom has to follow up and call the school and SD gets called in because "both moms" called. I'm done being nice to this woman when she couldn't care less about her ex-H or me and what we are doing for the daughter. She says, Oh I'll do anything for my daughter, and then when I ask if she wants to see her next Friday night, she's like, ummm welll,,, I'lll see if I'm busy.. she's an idiot and I cannot believe that people really do exist like this. ANYWAY...DH and I are considering seeing a lawyer to get cs...enough...
hes not supposed to NOT get support
first they gave us more, then said the modification is being reviewed. then they said during that time we wont get the extra. but we stopped getting the original amount. her employer said they got an order saying to CHANGE it to $160 a month instead of ADDING that. now they stopped sending anything. its all a big screw up and we dont know why and cant get a hold of anyone to find out whats going on and when we can expect money again.
its all my fault. i was trying to neutralize more of what we pay BM2 bc its breaking us and i knew BM1 was getting off easy and that a review would be granted. its just our luck to have things turn out this way. in fact, im sure when its all said and done we will get LESS than the original amount bc thats just how things go for us lately...
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
We had the same problem bella
I wrote a nasty letter to the head of the CS division in my area. He called me back like the very day he got my letter. He apologized and it was taken care of immediately!
I've heard if you want to get CS money quick
you should file for government aid. I don't know if you'll qualify, depends on your income, but if you do and you get it, most states get more aggressive in getting you your CS.
Not sure of your situation (i.e. qualifications), but if you're having trouble making ends meet, it's worth a shot.
Just give human services a call.
No CS here either.
FH has had custody of the skids since last June. As far as what's on the books right now, he still owes back child support because when she first filed for CS she told them he hadn't been paying her and he didn't keep good records of that and was just handing her money.
We could get by without her paying. I know she never will, she's a total deadbeat. All I want is for what he owes to disappear. That way he can file his taxes for this year and last and get the refund, which would help out immensely right now.
Not yet ...
We plan too, we just haven't want to stir up any $hit with BM. Things have been peaceful for the first time in about 2 years and we're getting by so, we're just putting it off. He has three years to file his taxes if he's owed a refund so ... We'll probably start pursing it in the next month or so and all holy hell could break loose. I never know what craziness will come out of her.