Things got worse...literally our families world crashed!
I have no words!!! The rage and hurt for my SD and DH right now. Heatbroken! baby is fine and with his dad. SD is in my bed, slept wirh me and DH is on couch. We went to pick her up from MIL at 4am! The evil bit*h literraly let the devil himself work through her.
Mil called at 1am to rant about sd and dodnt want her living their anymore. Fine..understood. Dh tried to calm her down and let her rant. I went to bed around 2...they were still talking. About an hour orso laterbhe woke me up in a panic
Sd got home...she works a few nights a week at a bar. Well Mil never hung up the phone..he heard it all until I got up and listened. She started ranting at SD and dropped the bomb that shes not even blood and her dad isnt her dad. That there was a dna test years ago...that sd means nothing to her and to move out. There was a lot more vile than that
We could hear Sd sobbing and mil saying she doesnt care or love her. Dh had a full. Lown panic attack, sobbed, wailed..i never in my life saw him that bad.
He made a choice decade ago that he wasnt going to act on it and be dad. Should he have told her sooner? Maybe...he was naive to think it wouldn't get out...but....he did it out of love and thought she would never know.
Sd called him sobbing...he just kept saying im your dad hon...i love you. She wanted the truth Nd he just couldnt do it. We picked her up...she didnt want details but is understanding somewhat more. They will talk more this am.
He reassured her he isbher dad for life ko matter what.
Ill share more shortly. Dh says hebwimmnever speak to MIL again...I dont plan on it either...except to cuss her nasty ass out first. HOW DARE SHE!!! IT was not her place...and in that manner which was to hurt. She will die alone and without help.
We could hear her also telling BIL thay she told her and that she told DH she was going to tell thr truth....that never happened. Evil....Ive seen snd heard the face of Satan himself last night. She broke a family. Please send healing vibes our way.
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Dear Lord!
My heart breaks for you, your DH, and SD. OMG!
No words, just prayers.
Here’s the deal
I have a friend that is not his child's father but they're scared to tell him. He's 13. I tell him all the time that he should tell him because this will happen one day! They still haven't told him!
MIL is a disgusting evil POS.
However, YES! DH should have told his daughter the truth long ago.
Kids should have the facts. Early, and often. In an age appropriate manner.
No on can control the actions of an evil POS. But we can control our own actions and prepare chidren with the facts. Kids should have the facts so they can protect themselves from POS evil like your MIL.
Quality adults have to step up and communicate the facts to kids. Before evil POS people like your MIL do it.
IMHO kids should know these things. Earlier rather than later. It is naive to think that it is protecting the kid to not tell them the truth. The risk of a POS being evil with that information is just too high.
IMHO of course.
I agree to an extent Rags. I
I agree to an extent Rags. I always though there was a possibility this could come out. That said...I think absolutely nobody every thought my MIL would go this low. I mean she is getting old and mean, she's toxic and two-faced...her 'hate' swings from person to person. Still, nobody expected this.
DH, FIL (deceased), the whole family made many sacrifices to keep this under wraps, to shit on all those years of sacrifices is just beyond comprehension.
I do understand where they came from, they were afraid if they told the truth, that this would mean the end of their relationship. BM was extremely high conflict and alienating. If DH told her he did the DNA (was during/right after the divorce)- it is very likely he would have lost all rights. That said, at some point he could have.
If you recall, BM ended up losing custody for drug addiction when SD was around 15-16....SD stayed with us a few months, we had a big fall out and she went to MIL's. A few weeks after that, we had a sit down and said SD could come back (granted we only had a garage w/a bed dresser, our home is small)- and told SD if she was willing to follow the same rules we had for her my sons, she can come back. SD didn't want to, and MIL said she would absolutely NOT push her.
What followed was years of a cluster fuc* with MIL allowing her to do whatever she wanted, and then bitterly complaining about it...while each time we said we would bring her home with us and MIL backtracking and SD saying she did not want to. At 16 with a kid in that much turmoil it was hard to force. Not to mention we truly didn't have the space, or means to purchase another home. At the time DH and I were engaged.
I don't know when it would have been a good time, maybe when she was 40 ha! And it should have been from DH, said with love, in a safe and secure manner...not with hate, disdain. I'll update more soon, a lot transpired. Good thing is we got to spend a lot of time with her and baby this weekend. So she is not mad at DH, she understands why he did it...she's broken about MIL turning on her in this manner and saying anything, saying she would have rather never known and would have been ok with that.
We are trying to help her figure out next steps
MIL is utterly despicable.
MIL is utterly despicable. The karma bus cannot run over her soon enough.
Prayers for SD, you, and your DH.