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Going back to the status quo

autumn_raynes's picture

My SO travels a lot for work but because of the covid he has been home more and I guess him being home more has really cemented our relationship and the ones with are respective kids even more. I took my kids out of school last year and we homeschooled while we both worked from home. My SO kids were already being homeschooled pre-covid so he took a more active role in the kids homeschooling. My SO even started teaching my kids some Russian. It was just a great bonding time. It was a lot of work but honestly I really enjoyed it.

Life has picked up again and I am back to in person work, my SO is still working from home some but also has team meets in person. But, he has 2 work trips towards the end of this year planned. He is planning on taking his oldest at least and maybe the younger ones on these trips and as much as possible on future trip because he has enjoyed being more active in their schooling. He has already asked BM to schedule the homeschooling schedule for him to take them. BM has so far only agreed for the eldest because she has more independent work.

I used to be a stay at home mom to my girls whilst I was a student. I really am sad that they will be back to school next school year and I am already missing the cohesion we had last year. My kids are with their dad for the summer and he has his kids more because BM is allowing time for his visiting family. I do feel like I am missing out (I know very childish) because I have to physically go to work whilst everyone is at home. Even though they are all glued to the Euros and I am not a soccer fan at all.

I just feel like everything is going to go back to normal for me where I work and my kids are in school all day and I see my SO a couple times a week. Whilst for him he gets to carve out and build on the bond created last year with his kids. My kids are also sad to be going back to school; we just had so much fun (and tears as well) as a family. It was what I would hope for in a family.

Then there is also the fact that we all sot of lived with my SO during the pandemic. I "moved out" or went back home to make room for the visiting family. He hadn't officially asked me to move in, it just became convenient with work and helping the kids with homeschool.

I am sorry if this is all over the place and not making sense in terms of what I want nor is it really a step problem. I am just sad to go back to the status quo.

Comments

CLove's picture

To feel what you feel. After being so close and working together, now you are getting the "separation" anxiety.

Things are "opening up" here where I am. Its weird. Nothing really changed for me, I went to work as typical.

I do know that SD15 B/M is anxious to get back to her in-person schooling. Distance learning didnt really work out very well for her.

autumn_raynes's picture

Definitely, I do feel anxious for our future especially because last year was the best our relationship had ever been. I do not want our relationship to go backwards I really want it to grow more from it but we haven't talked about it and I fear it may go back to the status quo.

I think my kids would do best in a homeschool environment. I do feel like this past year has really closed some gaps in their learning and I did learn more about how I could better support my kids in their education.

CLove's picture

I tried with SD15 Backstabber/Munchkin...but it did not work out well for me. Got her up from failing though, so it sort of worked out for her. She got a new bed out of it...

autumn_raynes's picture

In the beginning there was a lot of tears here because my kids did not expect it to be real school work at home. I think they had the impression that homeschooled kids played video games all day. But eventually we got into a rhythm.

I was "in charge" of my bios and he his. But his bios were mostly homeschooled by their BM and he helped me out with mine.

LittleCloud9's picture

Although it was an adjustment, I really grew to love having hubby and my ss home all last year. SS did school completely at home for a year and a half, hubby was also full remote, and I was temporarily unemployed. Online schooling worked well for us, ss made honor roll and got the best grades he's had ever. Honestly it was the first time we made it through the whole school year without one call from a teacher. Also having hubby home all the time was just so nice.  Now hubby is going back to work, in the fall SS will be back in school and I've found new work. It's kind of sad to loose the closeness, but it did draw us together