I pray every night that my children will be nothing like SD16. This last summer I decided to disengage because DH was making SD16's issues my problem, sending me spiraling towards depression quickly. Once I started to disengage and make DH responsible, things got complicated but started to straighten out the longer I stood firm on my position.

I still get pissed about the way that SD16 talks to DH, feels as if she is entitled to anything she wants and has absutely no respect for anyone else in this household. But I have learned to not react or harbor any feelings unless it's a personal attacks on myself or my children.

DH is convinced that my children will turn out the exact same way. I know my children are not perfect and will make mistakes but I'll be damned if they treat me or any other adult, especially their step-dad (DH) with disrespect. My children will not just have a car handed to them and be allowed to only work 6 hours a week because they don't want to work anymore than that. My children will not tell me when they are coming and going, but rather ask if they can go somewhere and ask when they are to be home. Punishments will be given and held appropriately and not blown off because it is too much to deal with.

This disengagement process has definitely been a learning experience and will continue to be as long as SD16 is in my life. But one thing that I have promised myself and remind myself of every day is that I will not betray my relationship with my children and DH as well as myself by accepting SD's crap.

I hope everyone has a great holiday!