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I hate BM!

areyoukiddingme's picture

Submitted by areyoukiddingme on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 10:20am

In the beginning, I tried and tried to reason with BM in hopes to have an understanding to be on the same page for SD16. She is unreasonable, vindictive, canniving, manipulative and thinks she's never wrong. Because of this, I can't even think about the woman without wanting to kidney punch the bitch. I do not try to talk to her anymore or even want to see her.

From my point of view, she plays the parent that will always do anything (and I mean anything, including nut not limited to buying a car for SS19 when he was about to be permanently kicked out of hs at 16. And this was because she "already promises him" she would). Because of this the kids favor her over DH because DH wants to teach the kids responsibility and that not everything is just given to them.

So leading up to the most recent... Yesterday SD16 was complaining of a sore throat (no fever). I give her advil and throat drops. No more complaints. This morning, she wakes up with a sore throat (as do i) and asks for advil. I give her advil and DH asks if we need to make an appt. tomorrow to see the Dr. She wants to go to the medi center TODAY because she's working tomorrow. The media center is 5 times as much for a copay than a the. visit. She still has no fever, stuffy nose, etc. DH tells her that she can go to the medi center today if BM will take her. BM is responsible for all copays, etc. And this is def. not an emergency. SD16 proceeds to text her mom saying that DH refuses to take her to the Dr. today. Then, miss sicky pants goes to the mall to go shopping. SERIOUSLY? BM proceeds to send multiple texts (10+) to DH about him being such a horrible father and cheap ass because he wouldn't take her to the Dr. today.

I know there is nothing I can do and if there was, I don't know if I would want to do it because I have found it best to try and stay out of those matters as much as I can. I just really need to vent.

Comments

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 7:19pm

Your 3rd sentence -- did you mean "I think kids should be free to say whatever they (Want) to OP (other parent)"?

Oh my. Free to say "whatever" they want? How about free to say NCP abuses me? How about SM abuses me? Or any other number of things some stepkids have been known to say just to stir things up a bit, to manipulate the household or manipulate the situation?

I'm all about my SS's having open communication with their BM when they are here. They have cell phones, they can call each other 10,000 times a day, I don't care. What I don't put up with is them calling her, giving her a bunch of bullshit about this household (which they have done, and it truly is bullshit), knowing damned well dear BM will call and rip my DH a new one. And these kids are WAAAAYYYYYY old enough to know exactly what they are doing and what the end result will be (they're mid-teens, they've been playing this game for 12+ years). And I DO think if they LIE about things going on in this household they sure WILL hear about it. They won't get punished for speaking to their mom, they'll get punished for telling her a bunch of untruths.

So, be careful what you wish for when you say kids should be free to say whatever they (want) to OP (other parent)... it may come back to bite you in the ass. Hard.

areyoukiddingme's picture

Submitted by areyoukiddingme on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 3:47pm

Let me clarify. SD16 was never punished for contacting BM. I would be furious if my BD tries to contact me and someone punished her for it. However, if she did contact me with the same situation, I would be contacting her dad directly to find out what's going on.

What frustrated me is that SD16 dramatizes everything to her because she knows that BM will jump all over it and harass DH for hours or even days.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 08/07/2011 - 9:10pm

If a SKid is stiring shit between their BKs then I absolutley believe that consequences should be invoked just as I believe that when an X tries to manipulate in our homes consequences should be invoked against the X.

Letting a Skid get away with that crap just perpetuates the behaviors associated with the shallow and pollutend end of their gene pool.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:13am

I have to say I agree with Rags on this one. Areyoukiddingme - I hope your DH is disengaging as far as possible with the BM and refusing to be drawn in to pointless exchanges of texts that are doing no good at all except satisfying the BM's obvious need for drama. It certainly sounds as though he dealt with it quite well and refused to be intimidated by the BM or his daughter's nonsense.

areyoukiddingme's picture

Submitted by areyoukiddingme on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 12:48pm

I agree as well. DH is afraid to lose SD16. However, the way that I see it, BM is putting SD16 in the position to not respect DH or our family by coddling her and allowing a place for her to do as she wishes regardless. It is very hard for us when she comes home and she starts asking for this, that and the other. Of course, we believe in earning things and not replacing things unless there is a genuine need to do so.

DH and I both have disengaged from BM over the years. It used to be absolutely horrible to the point where I had to have her blocked from my whole company's email system. DH doesn't reply to BM unless there is an absolute need to do so. We have even had her blocked from texting our phones as of yesterday.