I’ve learned that I’m not alone in my feelings.
I’ve learned that some of this is my own fault; DH has been obsessed with his daughter all of her life and I should have put my foot down many years earlier.

I was foolish to have expected things to change when SD got married. Instead, DH is now obsessed with the grandtwins as well.
Part of the recent problems, I think, might be that SD’s DH is also a child of divorce, but in his case, his SM brought him up since he was 3 years old. My SD is trying to compare me to my SIL’s SM. Our situations are not the same and that comparison is unfair. We are different people and our relationships should not be compared.

I have to interject this because I found it VERY uncomfortable when SGKs were born. SD had to be induced (the twins were getting really big). The day they induced her EVERYONE was expected to be in the pre-birthing room. BM and her husband, me and DH, SIL’s BD and SM, SD’s half brother and sister…to me it was very uncomfortable with all of these people standing around peering at her waiting for her to go into labor. BM and SIL’s SM were thrilled to be there. So was DH and SD’s SF. I was not.

But I am starting to see that it is my own fault for not putting my foot down when things made me uncomfortable.

I also hope I am getting the acronyms right. I work for a DOD contractor and I don't think even we use this many acronyms!