SS's behavior & his uninterested BM (long)
With the behavioral issues that SS9 has been having since SEPTEMBER, I know it has something to do with the fact that his BM (Nasty) is a POS. Since September, the following things have happened.
1. Nasty sent SD money on SS’s birthday (in September)…confused the CRAP out of him. She did also send SS money on SD’s birthday, so I suppose they’re even.
2. Nasty, once again told the Skids (in October) that she will NOT be taking them to Disney after having promised to do so for the second year in a row.
3. In November, Nasty broke up with her FDH…started skyping & texting the Skids constantly…told them “Mommy & FDH aren’t together anymore so mommy has LOADS of time to talk with her babies ALL THE TIME now!” That lasted for about two weeks.
4. When asked what they wanted for Christmas, both Skids told her EXACTLY what they want & where to get it…in response, Nasty said “OH, Mommy will get my babies GIFT CARDS so that you can buy them yourselves!” When the Skids got off of skype, SD told SS “I guess sending gift cards are easier for mom…she hates shopping for us, haven’t you noticed that? At least we’ll get money!”
5. When SS tried to brag to Nasty about the grades he had gotten (ALL A’s!), she simply responded with “Ok, whatever SS, mommy needs to go now.”
6. On Christmas Day, she skyped with them at MIL’s house. The Skids were excitedly telling her about what they got for Christmas when she cut them off saying “That’s nice my babies…mommy is really bored…(sigh)…what did Anywho get for Christmas?” I was standing in the kitchen when I heard that & poked my head around the corner only to see both SD & SS looking confused…SS said “but mom, we were telling you about what WE got…we aren’t done yet, we didn’t get that much so it won’t take too long!”
So yes…all in all, I blame his crappy behavior on Nasty, but that really doesn’t make it better…he’s in counseling & that doesn’t seem to help. His counselor says that “SS doesn’t seem too upset about it” & to “Just keep doing as we are.” I have NO IDEA what to do to get this kids brain & emotions in the right place. I’m tired of him constantly breaking rules at home & at school. I’ve had it up to here & would love any suggestions you guys may have about what WE (SO & I) can do to help him deal with his BM issues rather than simply acting out.
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You know what? That sounds
You know what? That sounds exactly like my ss. His mom comes around a lot when she doesn't have a bf. She was around all the time between Thanksgiving and new Year. Then she disappeared again. She did call this week, and he may see her tomorrow. But he has been a real bear in school (and he is 15, so the problems do get bigger). He acts like it doen't bother him at all, but it does. It's just so hard to get it out of him.
I guess we are lucky (???)
I guess we are lucky (???) because BM lives a few states away (moved to FL to be near the BEACH even though she HATES going into the water)...she sees them for 4-6 days per year so all of her flakiness is through the internet & phone.
Thanks Draco, he's seeing a
Thanks Draco, he's seeing a specialist now...not that it's doing any good though.
The one he's seeing works
The one he's seeing works directly with SS's other therapists...they seem to work well together.
He's in Personal, Occupational & Play Therapies due to his PDD (NOS) & doing well over all...the one he sees for personal specializes in many fields, one of which is broken/blended families.
He said that "SS doesn't seem affected by what is or is not going on with Nasty...he's 9"...lol...so, yeah.
SO & I have talked about a new one, but many that we have spoken to for Initial Evals said "you have to understand where BM is coming from"...what that has to do with SS is beyond me. Yeah...never went back to them & thus the reason he's still with his current "group".
Thanks again for your input Draco.
At least she called/ made
At least she called/ made contact with them on Christmas! Hahaha!!! POS is right.
My SS is 7yrs, old and his
My SS is 7yrs, old and his mother missed Thanksgiving, Christmas and at New Years her boyfriend called at 1am to wish SS happy new year. Shes called since. But we refused to let her speak to him on the phone. BM is suppose to do sv and BM conversation are supervised and monitored so that only positive things can get said. But BM won't go. Dh saw the damage Bm has done to a older son of BM who she also doesn't have custody of. So DH is trying to pervent that from happening. DH is going to a atty. in Feb. to try to remove BM rights due to drug use and history. Not sure which is worst. I think counseling is the best thing to due and thats what we plan if SS starts acting out. So far we've been lucky. SS never ask question. SO i'm not sure what that means for the future.
Anywho I think the BM in your
Anywho I think the BM in your situation and.mine are.similar. I am no longer living with skids and.son's father. But I see them daily and do still see what goes.on. my ss9 was the same.way except he had horrible.failing grades and bad behavior since.kindergarten. BM sees him about 2 weeks a.year..last year 2011. She saw them not even.once!!!! Its so hard when a step-mom has to take.on the responsible mother role when there is clearly a.mother in the picture! !!! I would just keep SS in counseling and hope.it works.out for the better. Is your As close with his sister? Is she.nice to him? I don't understand how these BMs can't see the damage they are.doing. phone calls.and.skype would be horrible.for.me.if that's the only.time.I saw.my mom. She playing head games like our BM would.do..... parenting is so lax and easy when you are.miles away and never see your.kid. sorry for your situation.