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OT - birth control

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Blog hoggin' today...

With all of the advancements in medicine and prophylactics and varieties of sexual satisfaction... 
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE 'OOPS' BABIES?

Seems like every time I turn around, there is another unplanned pregnancy.

Are people not using their birth control as prescribed?
Are condoms breaking more often??

Honestly, I find this baffling. 

Discuss...

 

Comments

tog redux's picture

I do too. I don't get it. I know birth control is not 100% foolproof, but many options are 99%.  I'm guessing people aren't using it regularly because they are kind of OK with getting pregnant. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Tog, do you sometimes think that person's subconscious is at work causing them to 'forget' to use BC in a timely manner?

tog redux's picture

I don't know. Sometimes it's just carelessness, I think.  

justmakingthebest's picture

I think people just don't use precautions. I am surprised there aren't more rampant STDs!! Or maybe there are... I don't know!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Right?! You'd think we'd hear about "STDs on the Rise!".

CLove's picture

And they are.

I saw a few articles the other day, and looked into it (not too much, yik)

But yes, with this hookup swipe right culture, STDs are on a significant rise. Along with pregnancies. And it seems like the dysfunction that causes our woes is allowing these very same people to continue procreating. Like another user is now back, from a while ago and her middle SD might be preggo with #6, and already has 5...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Gaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

There are also hookup websites that advertise as such (YUCK). SO glad I'm out of the Dating Pool!

justmakingthebest's picture

Oh I know! The southside has like one of the largest HIV popluations in the country!

lieutenant_dad's picture

There is currently a nationwide epidemic of gonorhea, chlamydia, and syphilis. Sexually transmitted HIV is down overall.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

DISlike!

With all of the websites for casual sex encounters, this is NOT surprising. Sigh...

Kes's picture

I too find it baffling.  2 yrs ago, SD24 had an unplanned pregnancy - honestly she is not a teen - why don't these young women get some sense?  She ended up having an abortion.  

Aniki-Moderator's picture

A friend of mine's daughter had an unplanned pregnancy at 17. She was admittedly careless, but chose to have the baby. We are very close (I'm an honorary 'aunt') and have had MANY discussions about sexual satisfaction and options outside of vaginal intercouse.

NotThatTypical's picture

I honestly think a lot of it has to do with education and acceptability of contraceptive use.

I was “smart” as a kid and I still made stupid choices because I didn’t feel I had options in a way. There was no way when I started having sex that I could have been on birth control. I didn’t have easy access and my parents weren’t going to take me. My “boyfriend” was stupid and didn’t care about condoms and I just wanted to do what I wanted to do. I’m very lucky I didn’t get pregnant.

As a college student I did use condoms and yes we had one break. Accessing Plan B was a nightmare and the cost was insane. I became religious for a week just to eat after that because it took my food budget to buy the emergency contraceptive.

I also know people who didn’t realize their antibiotic caused the pill to fail or those who missed taking it by and hour and ended up with a child in the long run. My family is highly fertile and our body overcomes the weaker forms of the pill. I have multiple cousins whose moms were on the pill and my sister was on the depot shot when she had my niece.  

I know getting birth control in college was very hard for me because of the cost and the judgment. Basically it felt like the world just expected me to not have sex and if I did a child was an acceptable punishment but at the same time my body surely wanted that special time with my then husband.

tog redux's picture

Young people - I understand. It's harder to get good birth control if you are hiding your sexual activity.

But there are lots of people in their 20s and 30s who should have access to good care. 

NotThatTypical's picture

Yes they should but then cost comes into play. Even with insurance the cost of birth control for me was rather high. My doctor only prescribed for a year so I had to go back every year yet insurance only wants to pay every other year. They only covered part of the monthly pill.

I was able to convince a doctor to give me IUD despite not being a good candidate for it and used my tax refund for the out of pocket. It was 1000 but in the long run it’s cheaper for me.

And yes… Some are stupid…

My sister’s first was an “accident” baby. Really we don’t believe that. None of our family does but she was young and everyone said she shouldn’t have a kid yet so it’s easier for her to say it wasn’t planned. By young I mean she was in her early 20s.

I was able to convince a doctor to give me IUD despite not being a good candate for it and used my tax refund

Lollybobs's picture

I appreciate cost might be a significant factor for younger people in America, but we have the exact same problems here and birth control is 100% free.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I was at the doctor yesterday. One of the cabinets has a YUGE sign (and it's a YUGE cabinet) that says:
Free Condoms. Help Yourself! Smile

Admittedly, I peeked. That cabinet could rival the selection at Walmart AND Walgreens!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I have a friend who is "highly fertile" She was like a little autotron taking her BCP - same time every day, NO exceptions. She got pregnant. 

I think a lot of us made stupid choices and I've heard countless stories of men who did not want to or refused to use condoms. But I see these OOPS pregnancies occuring in women who are not teenagers or college students - they're late 20s, early 30s.

A friend of my sister's got pregnant in high school and was sent away - in 'shame' - to have the baby. But that was almost 40 years ago. I'm not certain how long ago you were in college, but I'm talking about women TODAY. While a lot of married women are still asked "when are you having babies", I think society is coming to accept that some have no desire for children and that's okay.

NotThatTypical's picture

I think that is a great thing and we should keep going that way. I have mulitple friends who have decided they never want to have kids but doctors WON'T let do it for them.

I remember when my mom was in her late 40s the doctor still tried to talk her out of it. She had both me and my sister who were full grown and she had left my dad. The doctor kept saying she MIGHT want to have another kid if she met anyone new.... AT 45+

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I remember a friend whose doctor refused to tie her tubes when she was 27yo. She and her husband (who married at 18) had decided they did not want 2-legged children; only furbabies. She had to find another doctor to do the op. Ridiculous! She and her husband are now 55 and have never regretted their No Children status.

advice.only2's picture

I took birth control and never once got pregnant while on it. When I went off of it, pregnant both times, no oopsie about it.

It baffles me when I have people tell me they were on birth control and got pregnant, not once, but several times. All I can think is they were taking it wrong or not at all and it was easier to pretend the birth control failed and not themself.

Personally I think men should be given options for birth control as well, not just condoms. I mean we have so many options for women, why not men as well.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I also think they're (carelessly) taking it wrong.

YES TO BIRTH CONTROL FOR MEN!!!!

I bet some of those guys would be abysmal failures at taking it or be totally (unadmittedly) squeamish about an injection or insertion of some foreign object into their bodies. How many still believe BC is "the woman's responsibiity"? (They're asshats, BTW...)

SteppedOut's picture

Clinical trials on male birth control have happened, but the subjects complained so much about the side effects, they scrapped it. I read and article on it; the side effects were essentially the same that women deal with. But you know, men feel pain and discomfort so much worse than women.... [insert eye roll]. 

WarMachine13's picture

WTF. They test a bunch of wussies?? Like Aniki says, they need to sack up. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

They test a bunch of wussies??

You, my good man, owe me some coffee! lol 

NotThatTypical's picture

I have to say my sister really was on BC when she had her second. She was on the depo shot. She has an implant now.

Chmmy's picture

I think a lot of the oopsies are not 100% oops. 3 of my 4 skids are  oops + they had a miscarriage between sd17 & SS12 don't know if that was oops. It's more like irresponsible behavior. BM always forgot to take her pill. She had an abortion after DH & her divorced with some random guy. If you ask me she should have had her tubes tied.

tog redux's picture

My SS19 was supposedly an "oops". Maybe on DH's part, but IMO, BM planned that one exactly as it happened. Yes, he was a fool for not wrapping it up, he trusted her when she said she was on birth control. 

Chmmy's picture

I wouldn't trust anyone. DH is fixed but if he wasn't I wouldn't have sex with him anymore. I can't take my chances of getting knocked up and bring a child in to this. I would never leave a child alone with ss12 the pervert but DH would. He thinks these ferals hung the moon and do no wrong

Aniki-Moderator's picture

My BIL got snipped, but it didn't "take". When my sister got pregnant with their 4th child, he thought she was cheating on him!

They had been trying for quite some time to have #4, but were unsuccessful. So BIL got snipped. My sister swore up and down she was faithful, so BIL went to the doctor... and learned his snipping was unsuccessful!

bananaseedo's picture

This happened to my neighbor!  But it was years after the procedure and he also had to confirm w/dr as didn't believe her ha!

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

It can happen to women who get their tubes "tied". People are quick to jump to "you're cheating" instead of thinking the procedure failed!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Profusely! He took her away for a lovely weekend at a spa. Smile

Aniki-Moderator's picture

That's what BioHo did. DH was a fool to believe she was on BCP AND for not wrapping it up and he has certainly paid for it.

nengooseus's picture

BM "forgot to take" her BCPs resulting in the birth of SS.  Never mind that she actively told people that she planned to accidentally get pregnant...  She just didn't tell DH... Who didn't want more kids...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

He should have wrapped it, made her swallow, or watch him pleasure himself... *diablo*

nengooseus's picture

And divorced about 2 years later.  At the time, she complained that he never even discussed the vasectomy with her.  *lol*

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Of course she did.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Because sometimes for one party... It's not an oops...

ROFL

ETA:  SD10 and SD6 were both "oops." Psycho later admitted to popping holes in condoms for SD10. AND getting preggo with SD6 so that H wouldn't leave her. Soooo.....  Not so oops...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Oh, the ol' poking holes in the condoms. And men cannot simply throw one in the trash because whackadoos are inverting the condoms to get the sperm and insert it. *bad*

SD23 was an "oops". NOT. BioHo told DH she was on the pill, but later admitted that she was NOT. Their relationship was so rocky, that 'Ho sabotaged the condoms (poked holes in them!) and got pregnant with SS20. About 5 minutes after 'Ho confirmed THAT pregnancy, DH got snipped.

ndc's picture

I think a number of these "oops" pregnancies are only an "oops" for one party.  And then there's irresponsibility, drug and alcohol use, stupidity, invincibility, unpreparedness, etc.

 

Kiwi_koala's picture

As far as I'm concerned a mistake is once. Anything more than one unplanned pregnancy is deliberate IMO. If you really really don't want children you'll figure out how to avoid that. I was always really careful until the one time I wasn't and took what I thought was a calculated risk. Guess what?! Pregnant. I terminated the pregnancy before I was even six weeks. Now I'm extremely careful. BC is not always effective even when it's taken properly. Want to know what's always effective? Tracking your cycle and abstaining during ovulation. Most people can't be bothered with that though hence the number of "accidents". 

BM apparently didn't want anymore children after the first two and since they were Catholics they didn't use protection. According to BF she wasn't good at tracking her cycle. Alrighty then. BM2 had a miscarriage (unplanned pregnancy) then proceeded to accidentally get pregnant twice more. Another one who apparently couldn't track her cycle since she didn't believe in artificial BC. In other words she's an irresponsible moron.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Another thing that is 110% effective - NO vaginal intercoure. I'm not staying abstain - I'm saying Do Something Else!

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

I took it everyday at the same time but one month I got the norovirus which they call the cruise ship virus cause it will make everyone on a cruise sick with diarrhea and vomiting . I didn't throw up my pill but my doctor said you won't absorb any of your medication when you are that sick. I wasn't having sex when I was ill but it messed up the whole month. So my second And third daughter are 17 months apart. 
 

I know lots of people whose birth control has failed including a woman whose tubes were cut, tied, and burned and three men whose vasectomies didn't last.

as they say in Jurassic Park, life finds a way

Aniki-Moderator's picture

What you say is true! 

However, I do believe, as others have said, that quite a few pregnancies are NOT an "oops" to half of the couple...

SteppedOut's picture

Me! I got pregnant after having my tubes tied. 

My obgyn said I was the FOURTH person she has had as a patient that got pregnant after tubal ligation. She said it is more common if you had the proceedure when you are younger - 10+ years go by and BAM, SURPRISE! 

She also said she thinks, not proven fact, that all BC has a higher rate of failure the longer you take it. She suggests to her patients to switch every 4 years. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I've heard of that, SteppedOut. The tie "slipped", I believe?

SteppedOut's picture

Mine were both cut and knotted the first time (my doctor got the records, lol). My sweet guy was just supposed to be. While a huge surprise, I am thankful every day (tired too). 

shamds's picture

bio mums who conveniently lied to hubby or their man that they were taking birth control and because the man trusted the woman, he had sex and an oops baby comes along.

in the asian country my hubby is from, high school girls actually think only married women get pregnant. They claim they didn’t know you could get pregnant when you have started menstruating and having unprotected sex so they have alot of oopsies babies...

CLove's picture

Yeah - Munchkin SD13 didnt know that you dont get pregnant while you ARE pregnant, in spite of me describing the process of egg dropping, fertilization. OOps I forgot that other part...

CLove's picture

I LOVE planned parenthood. When I was too embarrassed and too broke, they gave me BC pills for 50$, and when I was REALLY down, it was "by donation" aka free.

Chmmy's picture

Can I do an F off Friday a day early? F*** off to the IUD that failed and allowed my cousin age 32 to be born.  He is ADHD and he has been nothing but a pain in the ass at every family get together etc.  He has more than ADHD but aunt and uncle are in denial.  He is now a pedophile.  He has sexually assaulted two of my younger cousins as well as 2 other incidents we know of outside the family and is no longer allowed at family functions. WE had a death in the family this week, a 35 year old mother of 4 and he wants to go to her funeral.  I think my aunt and uncle want to use this as a way to bring the family back together.  The parents of the girls who were assaulted say NO WAY!!  The mother of the deceased doesn't want him around either. So f off to that iud that gave the world another pedpfile.  His victims were between the ages of 5 and 16.

beebeel's picture

I don't think the IUD was available 32 years ago.

Chmmy's picture

As far as my mother told me my aunt had 2 kids and got an IUD and got pregnant with her 3rd.  I dont know that my mom would lie to me about something like that but I think I'll google it

beebeel's picture

Holy buckets! I thought it was a relatively new option. I think the "newness" is they actually work for most women now lol.

ESMOD's picture

It's been around in various forms for like 100 years.. but there was a time in the late 70's where most were off the market due to some issues.. but new generation models were introduced in the late 80's.. I believe there always was an option.. but it was limited for a while in the 70's and early 80's.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

That's terrible, Chmmy. I'm so sorry! I hope those girls got/have good counseling.

ESMOD's picture

I don't know what it is.. maybe a little "user error"  maybe some changes in effectiveness that isn't being tested ongoing?

I know my OSD supposedly got pregnant by accident.. she was supposed to be on the pill.  Now, I can absolutely see her being absent minded and missing doses.. or even forgetting to refill.

BUT.... it was a funny thing because she turned up pregnant very shortly after another friend of us got pregnant "on accident" to get her BF to marry her.  I don't put it completely out of my mind that my OSD didn't intentionally "forget"... she thought she had a catch with her BF. he owned land... had a good job.. was going to build a house.  I think that she may have seen visions of herself living in a nice new house.. "just like she deserved.

Of course BF/now DH isn't the wonderful guy she thought and they have had lots of issues.. she was very close to leaving him (for the 10th time) this past summer when she.. again.. got pregnant.. "on accident".

So.. who knows.

is it that women are "fatter" now and the dose of the hormone isn't enough? is there some other factor? is it just stupidity.. probably some of it all.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Sounds like another Oops that was only an oops for him...