un-effing-believable
So I'm crying and upset of the likelihood I am sending my own child to live with the devil, and Dh says how I've still got him and dd and then tacks on "and maybe you can start saying 'hi' to ss7 when he shows up". Thank you dh, kick me while I'm down. Remind me how you don't think I try while I'm essentially giving up on my own kid. Thank you for reminding me why I often keep how I'm feeling to myself, because you turn it into an opportunity to say how I'm not doing enough for YOUR kid.
- AngeLily's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I'm sooooo sorry. I don't
I'm sooooo sorry. I don't know the whole story, but I've lived without my DD14 now for 3 yrs. She lives with her dad full time in Michigan, I'm in Colorado. She comes here for Spring break, summer and I go up at Christmas. It sucks but it's gotten a BIT easier over the years. I do hope things go your way and you don't have to send your child to their other parent.
As far as DH's comment - I would've told him to bite me had he said it to me.
Hugs from Denver. Hang in there.
DH needn't worry about
DH needn't worry about whether or not you say "hi" to SKID or not.....I don't ever say hi to my skid. When he talks to me I answer his direct questions, but I do not engage him in any form of conversation EVER. Someday I hope he gets it and eventually just leaves me alone! Good luck with the 'living with the devil' situation
I don't know if this will
I don't know if this will make you feel better, but a friend of mine and my own mother went through the same thing. In both situations after spending some time with Dad and realizing all the stuff he was promised were lies, the gifts stopped rolling in, and Daddy becomes VERY strict, they came back to their mothers begging to let them move back. My elder brother wasn't really much better, but my friend said her son has turned the 180 in hopes that he will never have to move back in with his dad.
It always amazes me to see what parents will do to try to get their kid, regardless if it is the best thing for the child or not.
If I recall correctly, your
If I recall correctly, your young son of 12 is REALLY out of control.
What have you done with him in the way of discipline?
(I read counselors and meds, but nothing about discipline and structure.)
You start with removing EVERYTHING from his room. A bed, pillow, blanket, and 3 outfits with one pair of shoes.
I am totally against shipping kids off to the other parent because the first parent has lost control.
Regain it now, or your son will never respect you.
I'm sorry your DH is being insensitive, BUT... I can't imagine not even acknowledging a seven year old child in my home.
"I am totally against
"I am totally against shipping kids off to the other parent because the first parent has lost control."
Way to kick her again when she's doown. I am sure that she has probably exhausted every option that she can think of here-that's why she's upset.
What I am totally against is the idea that folks are just shipping their kids off to the other parent at a drop of the hat. I've never shipped any of my kids off-no reason to-but dh has certainly shipped ss off. However, for anyone to think that these decisions were made lightly be either dh OR even myself is nuts. For some people, it becomes the only option. When nothing you are doing works and the kids becomes more and more out of control and a threat to others in the household-you try to do whatever is best for everyone at hand.
Whatever happened to parents
Whatever happened to parents actually BEING RESPONSIBLE for the children they brought into this world?!?!?
Sorry, I don't respect you nor your DH. He has a child he isn't raising and the both of you piss and moan about how the people who are DOING HIS JOB are doing it.
Not interested.
IMO, if you have a kid, you f*cking raise it.
I am actually in the process
I am actually in the process of taking away what is left of his fun stuff, which will deliver him right back to my xh. Every grounding , restriction and privilege removal prior has done just that.
As far as ss7. I don't go out of my way to find him and say hello when he first arrives. I used to, which was usually met with silence, or walking away and when asked why it wasn't responded to "I didn't hear her" was usually the answer and I was told maybe I should say it louder. Short of yelling it in his face so the neighborhood could hear I stopped trying to welcome him on arrival. I say it when I first see him now.
Good Luck to you. I hope
Good Luck to you. I hope that maybe this will serve as a wake up call to your son-that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
As far as your ss7-please dont feel the need to explain yourself. Most of us get to the point we get to for a reason.
We did the same with SD14.
We did the same with SD14. She got a bed and a dresser in her room. That was it, period. Guess what she did shortly afterwards? I wanna live with BM full time. Fine, kid, ffffing go. No skin off my nose.