I was married straight out of high school to an abusive, manipulative alcoholic. Dumb choice, but due to events prior I thought that was as good as I was going to get. We have two boys (15 & 12) together who have been my world since the days they were born and when I finally woke up and got the strength to leave their dad, I did. My DS15 rarely sees me, he lives with his father despite me having custody. I have seen him 10 times in the last 3+ years. DS12 lives with me but has anger issues and mild learning disabilities and learned to cope with his father by lying, which he continues. I am completely aware of how difficult he can be and have no blinders on there. I admit after my divorce I was lax in my authority with him and have been trying to fix it ever since.

DH and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have known each other for 20 and been friends since. He has 2 sons from 2 different moms (so double the joy). SS14 is a great kid, we get along wonderfully. I get along with his BM just fine and I have known her for a long time as well. She doesn't think much of DH, but that's why they are exes. SS7's BM is manipulative and sneaky. I knew her long before DH and her were married and we didn't like each other then. SS7 and I do not get along. He acknowledges me only when DH is around. What's his is his and what's mine is his. We got along at first, but then I was taking his daddies attention away and he stopped liking me after that. I believe he also has some behavior disorders. Reactive attachment disorder and maybe some autism. But, only some of us see the manipulation and difficulty.

Together DH and I have a daughter (7 months) she is a joy and 2/4 of the boys seem to love her to pieces (14 &12). DS15 enjoys playing with her when he sees her. SS7 only acknowledges her when DH is around. I have concern there that I can't quite explain.....

I don't know if I am wrong with SS7, we have him 4 days a month (every other weekend) and he doesn't follow rules. Everything is his and he appears to think we all stop moving once he leaves. He leaves the tv and lights and games on in every room when he is here. Has Zero respect for things here. DVD's and video games left on the floor, kicks the dogs for no reason, lies, steals. Slams doors when the baby is sleeping.....

I am the only one who seems to care. I have a rule: if things are left on after I have already warned you, it is unhooked. If you leave discs on the floor after you have been warned, you lose them. You kick the dogs for no reason, you can go to your room. I don't believe you can discipline all children the same, but there are basics everyone can understand.