So freakin tired
SS11 has been playing baseball and BD10 also. I have been running the both of them to practice, to games 6 days a week. The season ended last week. To get to the point, SS11 was made to quit baseball a few weeks ago because of his behavior at school.(this was my suggestion because he was on this 3rd ISS.) Well his coach calls last week and asks if he could play in the tournament. DH says yes. So here I am running him around for practice Tues @ 7:00 Today @ 5:30. Of course it will be me taking him to his game tomorrow @ 8:00pm on a school night 35 miles away, game on Friday and possible Sat. Sometimes I just want to say to DH why don't you take off work and take him or call his BM to take him I'm busy. I am plum wore out from the running and plus the gas prices are outrageous. Plus there are 4 other kids in this house that I have to drag along with me each time.(BD10, BS8, BS21mnths and SD9) It is so hard because all of them have to have baths, eat etc. Sometimes I wish I could take off from being a mom for just one day.
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I feel for you
My own kids BS16, BD12 and BD7 are at 3 different schoolsl, have 3 different schedules, 3 different summer schools with their own schedules, doctors and dentists appointments, plus the older 2 want to be in sports next year. It is so exhausting. I have a huge calandar to remember it all and sometimes I still forget stuff. My BF expects me to remember all of this stuff too. I begged him to take back on of his things (emailing BM) and he got mad.
JUST SAY NO!
You didn't sign him up for it, you weren't asked if you would be his chauffeur and he's not your kid. I'd send a joint email to his parents telling them that you have been involuntarily over-extended and that they will have to drive their kid around themselves. You can't go along every single time they assume that you will be okay with doing their jobs for them. They know you won't put up a fight, and they will keep taking advantage of you until you start standing up for yourself. The very first thing you should have said to your DH when he hung up from talking to the coach was, "Who will be driving SS around to his games and practices?" I think you are an absolutely wonderful person for always going above and beyond, but you are going to burn out quick if you don't step back a little. You are right. Moms never get a day off. We don't get to call in sick. We seldom get to sleep in, take a mental health day or do anything for ourselves. But stepmoms are not required to do more for their stepchildren than the parents are doing. If we volunteer, that's one thing, but once the parents start assuming it's OUR job, rather than THEIR job, we've got a real problem.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
I feel like I need
to participate and I'll tell you why. I am burned out. We just got home from the game. I called DH last night at work and told him I was tired and I didn't feel like taking SS11 to his game. He said he would take him. No problem. What is so strang is he has never been so accepting of me not wanting to do those types of things. It kind of caught me off guard. I already had it in my mind what I was going to say if he wanted to mouth me. I guess I may need to apologize to DH for automatically writing him off. Then this afternoon SD9 called her mommy dearest to tell her about end of year awards tomorrow, BM wanted to talk to SS11. He didn't invite her to the game and when he got off the phone he asked if I was going, so how could I say No? He would rather me be there than his BM. I think SS11 is fed up with his moms lies about not being able to be at his events, so he just doesn't want to ask her anymore. I believe he depends on me to be there for him because BM won't. Sometimes I think I need to quit trying to be so selfish. That's one of the things that I bitch about BM for.
My kids biggest cheerleader
I can so relate
we are on weekend #3 in a row this coming weekend ( lucky me) and SS 10 has baseball pics & some clinic. My DH is on call & we have lots of stuff that needs to be done around the house. Nothing has been accomplished the last 2 ( I do have a funny story about SS10 telling his friend he couldn't come over becauise he had to pick up sticks... never happened & boy did I yell at DH for SS making us sound like the freaking gestoppo)
What ours likes to do is ask her baseball friends if they will take skids to these( she is out of town every weekend with unemployed boy friend) to make DH look like a bad dad. No one gets to see him getting them from school, feeding them & getting homework done. Just BB pulling up in her evil mini van making sure she looks like the poor single mother of the year. The money grubbing, stupid bitch she is!
dont both parents have to agree
on extracirriculars if they interfere w NCPs visitation? so then i would think u wouldnt have to take them and let her do it, rite?
That would be great
but BM is big on having them in at least 2 activities a year.
She tried to get DH to let her sign both up for football in August just yesterday. He told her that he was already paying for all he could afford ( there will be no more extras after baseball & the field trip she bullied him into) and reminded her that SS10's grades dropped when he was in football which is a 4 day a week committment &along with 1 night of religion class.
You would think 4 plus nights of baseball this year between the two of them would have shut her up.
Things will be changing this fall as they ride the bus & will no longer be at ourt house after school. Who will run them around & get their homework done then? She won't get to pick them up at 5:30 & do whatever she wants then. ( I am excited but torn over this prospect & will post later)
our agreement states that
our agreement states that the parents must agree before signing kids up for activities that involve both parents' time. Well, BM signed ss up anyway. He has not attended the activity on dh's custody days because dh didn't agree to him being signed up and did not agree to help pay for it .
BM has been reported for violating the agreement, but dh decided at the last second not to have it enforced, only noted in the file.
As far as attending and driving to all the activities, dh does that. I don't. I have not offered, and I won't offer unless we are really in a bind.