I had an idea of what DH wanted to do for Father's Day. So I took BD4 and BD5 to get him a cooler a six pack of Busch, candy, zombie targets and little BB gun for the girls to play target practice with daddy. We went out to this cute little shopping area in the morning first where there was a car show. After that we just sort of Picnic'd and played card games and bbq'd til it thundered just in time for bath/bed and True Blood. It was the perfect day. NO calls from SD10 or SD12. No cards in the mail like they did that one time either. In fact DH messaged SD10 to let her know we were mailing her bday and she couldn't even me bothered to respond. But it was a great day.

Than there's my brother's fathers day. He didn't get to see his son saturday and take him to a park party with us because his ex told him "No he said he doesn't want to see you.He said so himself" He took his friend to see Man Of Steel because his ex told him she gets to take his son to it. So yesterday the ex tells him "Take him to man of steel because I didn't get a chance."So he did and than came over here and fought with my mom because she is tired of having to wait for clearance through the ex to see her grandson.

Here's my take. Kids don't get to call the shots. My parents never divorced so I didn't have the option of saying I don't feel like being with dad or mom. Why do divorced kids get that option? I think it's un-conscious PAS when you allow your kids to disengage on their own. "I can't force them to want to.." is a cop out, it's not about "forcing" them it's about letting them know they don't call the shots, they will be respectful, and they aren't entitled to be an asshole this early in the game.

I know my brother lets the ex tell him how his weekends with his son are going to go because he is the reason for the divorce, he cheated he never wanted kids, and he never fit the Ward Cleaver role she had hope he would turn into someday. So he just takes her shit and tries not to feel guilty.

BD4 didn't want us to get the zombie targets and gun and argued with me about it, I said "Guess what you are 4 and this day is not about you." She had a blast with her daddy as it turns out. What if I coward to my princess and announced "Father's Day is canceled because look I can't force her to want to shoot with dad." She would have missed out on the great day we had and missed that bonding opportunity with her father that will strengthen their relationship.

I feel sorry for my nephew, and step daughters for that matter because their childish whims of "Oh I don't want to see dad today." Have been validated and reinforced to the point where they are missing out.