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It's a rough day

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Today is 7 years since I lost my baby girl, well, actually since I gave birth to her, she was lost a day or 2 before.
We usually celebrate this day as her birthday. (DH was not her dad, I met him 4 years after she was gone but you'd never know that... he has been, BEYOND amazing)
He is away for work for the next few days, so for the first time since I met him I'm doing this day (at least physically) alone.

Need advice...

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So my 17yo ss has been told by bm he "has" to come visit fdh this school hols. He hasn't spoken to fdh since late Sept when he told him "I'm not talking to you until you give mum what she wants" to his credit fdh stood his ground. Although he kept calling him, leaving the door open for him to reconnect... but to no avail. Till now.