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in-law drama

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My oldest SIL has had ill feelings towards me since June 2006. Why? Well, SD was visiting DH for a few weeks and SIL wanted to take SD to a water park on the exact day I was going to be flying home from my brother's funeral. DH didn't even go with me because we felt it was more important for SD to spend time with her father and his family instead of being around a bunch of strangers for a week. Well, not only could DH not afford to go to this water park, SIL told him if he did not go, then he was a bad parent.

all I can do is be the shoulder

wickedstepmom's picture

and it still doesn't seem like it's enough.

SD16 has been very sick for a few months now. DH gave up his job last fall to sit with her in ICU-I took time off to be there for him (he has since started working again and it's a much better position!).

SD16 has a rare disease that has affected her memory. She doesn't know who anyone is, even her mother whom she has always lived with.

Been doing some reading on PAS

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holy crap! this is incredible to be reading other posts on this board about PAS. Notreally sure what it was all about DH and I googled it and our eyes have been opened.

www.paskids.org gave us a ton of info. From what we are reading, BM is the alienator and DH is the victimized parent. Poor, poor SD16. She is the one who has really suffered.

and yes, i am a stepmom too

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I am Stepmom to 16 year old girl.

DH found out about SD when she was 3. Unfortunately, it has been a strained relationship all along because BM has never really encouraged DH and SD to have a healthy, loving relationship. Up until a year ago, she lived 4 hours away. Whenever DH would want to see his daughtr, he would have to drive 4 hours to get her, 4 hours, home and then at the end of the weekend, drive 4 hours to bring her back and then he would drive 4 hours home.

wanting to vent

wickedstepmom's picture

You know it's interesting...My ex never paid me child support when my son lived with me and then when he went to live with his dad, I didn't pay him. BUT, we split costs on medical, anything school related, sports fees--in general, we really just wanted to make sure our son grew up knowing that both of his parents loved him more than anything. We found going through our divorce, that we didn't want one another to ever have to feel the financial burden on their own.