Do your stepkids?
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I have a couple questions, I have 2 stepkids that are about to turn 9. I was just wondering if kids at this age try to be younger? Like they ask me if they can suck on their little sister's pacifier, or drink out of one of her sippy cups, and they also ask if they can get in her pack n play and play with her ( when she never uses it) after I've already explained they are to big and they will break it.
2nd question: what do you do about constant sibling fighting? It's ALL the time, they can't go five minutes without fighting. One will say he hit me then the other because this, or they won't share, or I don't want to watch that movie.... I just don't know what to do to help them get along.
I think this is a
I think this is a characteristic in many kids not just Skids. I had a bout of regression when my parents brough home my brother who is 6yrs younger than I am. It did not last long because my parents took the path that if I wanted to act like a baby they would treat me like a baby, diapers, onesies, crib and all. I got the hint in a single day and never regressed again.
As for sibling fighting, not in my parents home. The rules where clear. First, as the oldest I bore the responsibility for any fights with my younger brothers. Second, if we did fight then when dad got home we had to all go out in the back yard and fight him. That never happened but we did have to go in the back yard a few times for a demonstration of what exactly a Marine is capable of in a fight. So, my brothers and I never fought.... at least physically.
These problems can both be effectively dealth with through appropriate parenting including application of appropriate consequences and accountablity. Yes, older kids can have a hard time dealing with the attention given to younger siblings. However, the message has to be clear that the older child has had their turn at being 0,1,2,3,4,5,etc..... and the older child will not infringe on the younger child's right to be their own age just as the younger child will not infringe on the older child's right to their own age with appropriate priveledges and behavioral requirements.
Kids are smart, when the rules are set and followed the kids will comply.
But, a hug and some quality mom and/or dad time for an older kid is never misplaced.
All IMHO of course.
I agree with you. I am the
I agree with you. I am the eldest too!
What I would like to say about kids regressing, in particular SKids here, is that they seem to remain at the age they were when parents split. We have SKids, twins, boy and girl and this incident occurred when they were 12. Incidentally they were always fighting and making up instantly. We had a power out and The SKids were hyper with candles etc. Next thing is SD screams at SS 'let's be 8 again' and they ran out naked to the pool! They are twins, they shared a uterous, they have seen each other naked before so no big deal there...we are sheltered from neighbors by a huge fence. Then it struck me, that's when their parents split, I did not meet any of them until the twins were 10 but always it seems like it's in the back of their minds to keep that time alive.
Does anyone else feel that's a correlation to their situation, or am I imagining things?
In my experience yes they do,
In my experience yes they do, my Sd6 wanted me to bottle feed her the other day, or she wants me to hold her like a baby, then I get the baby speak goo goo gaa gaa, I just say don't be silly, I think its an awareness that they are getting older, life is so simple and stree free when you are a baby. It is'nt something that I would encourage though.