SS spent the weekend with us. He's been wanting to bring his 15yo gf with him to stay at our house, but the rule is no overnights. They are welcome to come spend a day, but we will not house him with his minor girlfriend.

Gf's dad passed away Friday. I thought that would mean he'd spend the weekend at home (BM's home) with her. It wasn't the case. She spent the weekend at BM's house & SS spent it at ours.

For the last 2 weeks, no one in BM's house has had a phone. The house phone is turned off & all of the cells have been off, & despite BM's claims over the past 8 years of DH doing nothing for them & never being there for them, she blames the lack of phone access on DH's drop in CS.

Anyway, SS talked to DH last week about the phones & asked him to buy a phone card so they could have one working phone in the house. DH spoke with BM's mother who agreed to purchase the card for SS's phone & we sent her a check for the $45.

DH picked SS up Friday afternoon. He'd left his phone at BM's house so they'd have one if they needed it. Our house phone rang off the hook all evening Friday. It was SS's gf. She missed him. She missed her daddy. Okay. She lost the man she's had nothing good to say about since SS met her last October. I get it. It makes me ill, but I get it.

I went to bed around 9:30pm. The phone woke me up at 11:40pm & again at 2:53am. I was pissed. I didn't say anything, but I was pissed. I am an early riser. As I normally do, I got up around 7:30am Saturday morning. DH said SS stayed on the phone with gf until around 4:30am.

I quietly started a load of laundry in the basement. I brought our clean clothes upstairs & put them away. I swept the living room & kitchen floors. Around 8:30am, I started washing dishes from the night before & they clinked & clanged a little when I put them away. Around 9:00am, I pulled out the vacuum cleaner. DH came out a little irritated. The phone rang around 9:15am. It was SS's phone calling our house. He was in bed so I didn't answer. They hung up & called right back, again, & again, & the 4th time I picked it up. It was gf & she was in tears. I told DH to get SS out of bed. SS came out irritated but answered the call. Apparently his ex (who lives on the opposite coast now) had been texting the phone he left behind. He got off the phone & she called again 20 minutes later, & this carried on throughout the day. It was pissing me off because she interrupting our weekend with the phone card WE paid for so that DH's kids could have access to a phone. NOT for this 15yo drama-whore to keep calling our fucking phone.

Moving on...

Aside from the phone calls, we really enjoyed the time we got to spend with SS. We are broke. I mean, FLAT broke. We went nowhere. We spent nothing & honestly just enjoyed each others company. DH & SS were playing PS3 & in my passing through the living room, SS asked me to join them. He talked to me. He joked & laughed with me. He spoke with DH openly about everything with me sitting right there. I really felt like one of the group. It was fun.

At one point he told DH, "Dad, I want to talk to you about something". DH said, "Now?" and SS said yes. He said, "I know you don't like tattoos, but I got some. I got 2." He pulled his socks down & showed us the tattoos that his gf had given him. He has one on the inside of each ankle. One is the number 13 & the other is the number 21. She used a needle & ash-ink (?). DH asked about the significance of the numbers. 13 has always been his favorite number. He admits there's no significance to the 21. They were drunk. At that point, what was there to say? DH reminded him of the jailhouse tat BM's dad gave BM at 14yo when he got out of jail. He explained the possibility of infection & risk of disease & the subject changed.

Again, I turned in for bed earlier than they did...around 10pm. I told DH goodnight & he kissed me goodnight & told me he loved me. I told SS goodnight, & he returned it with, "Goodnight Storm. Love you".

They woke me up around 2am laughing. I don't know what they were talking about, but I woke up to SS saying, "I really love you dad. I feel happy here". They continued to talk. I heard him telling DH about the gf situation. His ex's family moved to Cali going on a year ago or so. She was his first everything & he's still very much in love with her. DH asked about the current live-in gf, & SS said she knows that he's still in love with the ex but chooses to be with him anyway. DH questioned the lack of respect on SS's part & pointed out how it isn't fair to a 15yo girl to let her put her emotions into a relationship that SS isn't putting anything into. He's using her as a stand-in. DH also talked to him about putting so much stock into this girl living across the country. At 18, he needs to focus on getting his license, getting a job, getting a place, etc. He needs to focus on him & his path & let the rest fall into place.

They talked about BM & her live-in. They've been on-&-off for 5-6 years. When BM needs funding, it's on. When bills are paid, it's off. SS told DH that the bf got pissed & grabbed SS over DH paying BM's mom for the phone card. He was mad because SS didn't wait a couple more days until the bf got paid so he could buy the card. WTF??? It's $45 he can keep in his pocket because DH did it. SS said it wasn't the first time, & they talked about how to handle it in the future. DH did ask about whether or not bf...or anyone else ever putting their hands on SD. He said they never have.

I heard SS say, "Dad, can I talk to you about something & it can just stay between you & me?" DH says of course. SS said, "Mom got mad at me because when we were arguing I told her I hated her for leaving us & she pushed me back on the couch. I grabbed her arms to keep her from hitting me & she said if I ever put my hands on her again she was gonna call you & tell you & she was gonna call the police & have me arrested for assault. I never hit her or anything, but was I wrong to grab her arms?" Given DH's history with BM, they had a lot to talk about on that point.

They got back to relationships & I went back to sleep. DH came to bed around 3am.

Sunday morning, I was up early again. SS's phone called our house around 8:30am. I let it ring. It called right back, & again. I answered it the fourth time, irritated. It was gf & she was crying...again. I told her SS was still in bed & I'd have him call her when he got up. She called again 45 min later & said she really needed to talk to him. I had DH wake him up & when SS got off the phone with her he said if she called again to ignore it. He explained to her that he was coming home that day & he wanted some time to spend with us. She called back twice after that, & it went unanswered.

We took him back to BM at 6:30pm last night. Well, it was supposed to be 6:30pm. She texted DH from SS's phone at 6:40pm to tell him she was going to be late. We were to meet at KFC. She texted 5 min later to ask if KFC was still open, & then again to find out what time they'd close. We waited & waited. Around 7:10pm, SS looked up & saw BM, her bf, & SD all inside KFC at the buffet. WTF? Whatever. Don't know how long they'd been there or why someone didn't let us know they were there. Well, we pretty much knew why...because she's a bitch.

SS went in to get SD to come out & give DH a hug. She refused. I'm not sure why, except for the fact that BM has instilled an entitled anger that is sometimes just unleashed on a whim. SS came back out to hug DH one more time & told him he really had a great weekend with us, & much to my surprise he came around to my door to hug me. He said, "Thanks for everything Storm. See you next time. Love you."

I know this is long & don't expect too many to read it all the way through. It's more for my documentation than anything, but any comments are welcome.