So I had a couple of girl friends over last nights for "girl time"...A few bottles of wine and dinner...

SD is here for her weekend, and she and DS were in our bonus room with DH. My girl friends know the issues that SD has, and all the drama surrounding her mother (to an extent)...

Well one of my girl friends goes on to tell me how that I should "do more" with SD, that I can be a positive influence in her life, and that I should care about how she views me when she grows up...

Because I had the right amount of liquor in me...(not enough to be drunk...but enough to release my tongue), I flat out to her to GTFOOH...

She said..."Hear me out..." and went on with her reasoning...

So I asked her WHY is that my problem? And why have you given ME a project? SD has 2 parents...and then you're taking away my choice of how I want to live my life. And who am I to think I'm that much of a life changing individual, when there are SOOOO many people in her life who can do the same, but AREN'T!

I swear I can not STAND people who think that it's the stepmother's responsibility to be "Captain Save A Fool". Why? People have to pass over WAAAAY too many people in SD's life to get to me...I see SD 6 days a MONTH if that! What about the folks that see her the other 25?? Why about her mother? Just because she's stupid she gets a pass? I gueess...Step mom...It's all your responsibility and if SD turns out to be crap...Step mom...It's your fault...With your 6 (actually 5 1/2 to be technical) days a month...Save the world...

Ok...SD has problems...EVERYBODY sees them...Okay..so why is it MY responsibility to carry the torch for her? I TRULY don't get that...Why don't people have this conversation with DH??? NOBODY says ANYTHING to DH!!!Why hasn't anybody pulled BM aside?? ONLY ME!!!!

Not to mention (I told my girl friend the above, so I'm not just ranting), people don't know what I have to do to manage and navigate the whole fiasco that is SD and BM...and how it relates to my DH...It's STRESSFUL! There are certain things that I do not do and am totally disengaged from regarding SD JUST so I can keep the peace and DH doesn't have to get negativity from BM. For instance...I don't buy her clothes...play barbies or do "mommy" types of things with her...When she goes back home and talks to her mom, her mom has ROUTINELY flipped out and called DH to scream and cuss whenever I do anything as simple as comb her hair...Sooooo to HELP my DH manage this crazy ass woman...I step the hell back...It's not that SERIOUS to me! As a result, DH and my relationship runs quite smoothly which is MOST important to me...

I'm so irritated right now...SO. FREAKING. IRRITATED...

So I told my girl friend (nicely, I think...I was tipsy) that I resented her saying anything to me when she's not privy to the entire story, when she hasn't seen what I've been going through and how we've gotten to this point for the past 5 years...

She said that she's NEVER seen SD act out or anything...I let her know that was because when she's with DH, he's got her on a VERY short leash...She KNOWS that she can't pull any crap. So I told her for example...SD got put out of class AGAIN on Monday, also on Thursday she was defiant in after school care that they had to call her mother to come and get her early...

Of course I got the open mouth and blank stare from my girl friend. And I told her, don't come into my arena with your limited knowledge telling me you're not judging me, "BUT" and then you proceed to judge me...I told her what you see when you're over here is a freaking trained circus act...TRUST...DH has SD yoked up so good, you'd THINK she was normal...and we've had to finesse and manage and tweak our house FOR YEARS to get it to this point...We're walking a tight rope, with one arm up, and on one tip toe, with spinning plates in each hand...THAT'S how we're living...

I'm so freaking irritated...I'm not done with her, either...I'mma call her ass today to finish up...She wont have crap to say when this is over...