Just spoke to my MIL (DH's mom). She says to let her know if DH ever steps a foot in the ex-in-laws' house because that will be it, she and his father are prepared to write him off! :jawdrop: She said she would be sorry for me and my children the day that ever happened because we are innocent in this whole thing, but that she'd have nothing to do with her son if he chooses to socialize with these people who have never ever supported him, done him so many wrongs and cannot be trusted. And she made it very clear that she does not want my kids going to the ex-in-laws' house either.

She mentioned one incident where the ex-BIL, that DH claims was so good to him, refused to help him and DH ended up in a really terrible situation (that DH has told me about). She says forgiveness is good, but DH should not forget and needs to protect himself, because these people are manipulative and know all of his weaknesses and which buttons to push.

I doubt very much that DH would like to hear this ultimatum, being a man and wanting to make his own choices. Damn, I just hope he makes good choices, because I love my in-laws and they are wonderful with my kids and have been wonderful to me, and I would hate to lose them from our lives. Hmmm, sounds like a double standard on my part - me and my in-laws, vs, DH and the ex-in-laws, but you just cannot compare them. The way my family treats DH and his family is the exact opposite of the way BM's family treated DH and his family.

What a mess this whole blending family stuff is!
Are the ex-in-laws really missing DH and wanting to get to know me and baby?
Or are they just trying to pry into our lives, to see what info they can get to use against us?
Does it even matter to my stepkids whether the two extended families are social with each other, or is being civil and respectful enough?