COVID and safety between two households
Hey everyone! I am new to this site/group and I am hoping for some positive and supportive feedback on navigating a situation that has become extremely aggravating. My stepsons split time between our house and their mom's, about 50/50, if not at our house a little more. 7 months ago I had my daughter (only relevance in sharing this is to show that our house must be a clean space for a new babe). Right when my medical leave was ending in March COVID hit and we quarantined and I worked from home. As the boys split time between households, I think I have always been on edge about what they may be exposed to while put of our care, but COVID has created a bit more stress on that as I am constantly being made aware that their mom is not and has not been quarantined, brings them into stores with her, lets them go to friends houses and then sends them right back over to our house. We have talked to her about this many times as I also have a health condition, but her reaponse is what I would describe as very selfish. I know many people have different stances on how to deal with COVID, but I guess I am hoping for some guidance and advice on how to navigate setting firm boundaries or things I can do to. I feel that she just does whatever she wants then we are just expected to work with it, but from a step mom's POV, that is selfish and neither one of the bio parents are doing the blys any good by not trying harder to be on the same page. the drastically different households is obviosuly a reflection of the major differences that existed in the marriage...but dang. I feel that the only thing these boys are learning about is a lack of consistency and consideration. It is like I am the only one considered about everyone's safety...
Well - you have no control
Well - you have no control over BM's actions. All you and DH can do is allow her to have the kids 100% of the time until you feel it's safe to have them over again.
I agree, i feel like that is
I agree, i feel like that is the best option. But, I feel like my partner would not go for not having the boys. It puts me in such a horrible position to where I am contemplating leaving with the baby because I constantly feel like we are at risk in this house. I will have to talk to my partner about it. I always feel like the bad guy/problem because I enforce boundaries that he has just let slide for years. I appreciate both inputs.
I would suggest complying
I would suggest complying with the official guidance. Social distancing, masks, hand sanitizer.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
If your household has a high risk resident, an infant makes sense as high risk though I have not specifically heard that they are considered high risk, then let the Skids stay at BM's and set up FaceTime visitation, on line gaming events between DH and the Skids, etc.....
In my experience masks are an effective element of minimizing transmission. They are worn in operating rooms to prevent contamination of open wounds during surgery, they are worn in clean room manufacturing environments to minimize particle transfer to exposed sub micron semiconductor components during manufacturing steps, and they have been worn extensively in Asian cultures for decades. Cultures that are where many viral outbreaks start. Though those cultures certainly have zero compliance with social distancing.
Of course masks do not completely eleminate transmission but they are effective in minimizing transfer of particles, including germs.
School started last week and
School started last week and just like that - 4 out of 7 people in our family sick. I got tested this morning, I'm in a higher risk group. I hope it's a cold and not covid, but i can't be sure until I get results. Now the kids that are sick have to stay home for 10 days. So yeah if you can avoid the back and forth- you need to do what's best for you and your family.
I feel you OP. My skids BM
I feel you OP. My skids BM took them on a holiday 10 days ago to a place where there were active cases. Tried to drop them off after the plant ride home because "they miss their daddddyy" um no. I won that one, but then she dropped them off with coughs the following week and just drove off. I'm furious because I asked my DH to send them home immediately but he couldn't not see his kids because he had missed them since they went on holidays. Never mind our newborn baby or the grandparents who live next door. I told BM myself that they had coughs and she brushed it off. I personally think covid or no covid, we don't need to infect 2 households with viruses and infections, especially household with other healthy kids. These skids are constantly sick and it's disgusting. I feel maybe it's a reflection on her standards for hygiene. Yuck. Next time I'm taking the baby and staying elsewhere, and I won't come home until my partner gets it through his thick head that if he think a sick skids and a BM trumph everything, me and bubs gone. This is our house too and we have rights to what we/I want and that is sick skids to stay the hell away. Sick of people pulling the poor dad card. You wouldn't be a poor sad sack guilty dad if you just didn't make babies with a flog of a woman to begin with.
It is infuriating how logic
It is infuriating how logic and intellect is lost on dipshits and idiots. DH and BM included.
Poor dad? More like moron dad. Then there is BM.... Grrrrr!
Emotion should never trump the application of the use of grey matter. Missing skidlets is no reason to jeopardize the health of infants or the elderly.. and for damned sure no reason to jeopardize the health of your mate.
Those skids and DH would have been locked out the minute BM dropped failed family spawn off and they should spend the next two weeks in a tent in the back yard.... or at lease somewhere other than the home of the OP or the GPs.
smh