SD turns 19 today
DH mentioned her bday yesterday...I knew it was coming up but hadn't really given it much thought. Last week he actually said he was considering writing her a letter. I thought Wow...maybe an attempt of smoothing a better path out for the 2 of them? Nope, I was wrong. He said he wanted to send a letter to her telling her how stupid she was. O. M. G. Really DH? Come on...
I asked him..What exactly do you want from her? She's attempting to carve her own path. May not be exactly what you think she should be doing, but thats the learning curve at this age. She's not going to listen to anyone anyway. In her mind, I know she's got this all figured out.
I was a little surprised by his comment...I told him. You don't want her living with us, you don't want her at your parents, but you're not happy with the decisions she's made. LET HER FIGURE THIS OUT..don't bash her for it. And I dropped it. Nothing else was said. Only his mention about her bday coming up. And I responded with only a "Oh yeah..it is.."
What the freaking hell? I was really surprised to hear him say this about writing the letter...Is this going to go on forever?
I'm not sure what is driving him to continue this "I don't agree with your life, so I'm determined to act like you don't exist." mentalility...
1. She's supporting herself.
2. She's living on her own.
3. She doesn't bother us.
What more do you want DH??? I sometimes wonder if he wants her to come back begging for his help.. Is it the satisfaction of the "I told you so" that he's after?
Good grief..
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I think it's like a little electric shock
from some parenting gene, or hormone, or gland that's malfunctioned. Every now and then there's a spark, they aren't used to it since they never used it, and so they have a bigger reaction than would be normal. Grandiose statements about taking a stance as a parent and/or parenting. Don't worry, it fades as fast as it flared.
Fakebook is mostly a curse
Fakebook is mostly a curse but in some ways it is a gift. I've seen some real dipshidiots I went to HS with I never thought would amount to anything, but most of them have, at least, become productive adults, eventually. And sometimes that is enough.
OTOH, a boy my daughter went to HS with was an honor student and he died recently from a heroin OD.
You just never know.
You responded to this
You responded to this perfectly. Maybe someday he will get past whatever his issue is with her actually getting her life together, but for now you are doing a great job of pointing him in the right direction.