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What to do??

Harleygurl's picture

Submitted by Harleygurl on Tue, 03/04/2014 - 7:09am

DH hasn't been to an AA meeting in 3 or 4 days. Starting to do that lay around the house all day thing again. Last night, although I'm not an alcoholic, I went to the meeting. It did provide me comfort. He slept on the couch which didn't bother me in the least. I didn't say a word to him after I got home and don't plan to any time soon. This behavior scares the crap out of me.

I know he is down in the dumps because he hasn't been called to work yet. He's in a union and the weather isn't helping. I'm not sympathetic. There is plenty to do around the house for shit's sake!

My worry is that one he is on a downhill slide to where he was before (dealing with issues by drinking) and two once he starts work and it's his week to have SS8 it will be assumed that I will be doing all the work with SS8 until DH gets home from work. I've tried to talked to him about the subject and he just keeps telling me "It's something that will be worked out." I want to know what he's thinking because if he thinks that I will not only take SS8 to school AND pick him up AND do the homework AND feed him dinner AND get him to bed until DH gets home he had better think again. Not my kid. Not my problem.

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 03/04/2014 - 7:31am

"It's something that will be worked out."

This means he plans on letting it fall in your lap. You're going to have to let him know what you are and are not willing to do when it comes to his son.

Until he's called back into work, he needs to do something. Laying around feeling bad is not good, especially for alcoholics. And he needs to go to meetings.

Harleygurl's picture

Submitted by Harleygurl on Tue, 03/04/2014 - 8:49am

Don't I know it! I thought that if I said that I was going to the meeting regardless he would get up and go. Didn't happen. But I gained from it because I was able to talk to a supportive person from my Al-Anon group. She was there with her husband. That helped me tremendously.

I'm not taking care of SS8 24/7 once he is called to work. Yes would it be better for SS8 to be in our home at least half the time so he's not with crazy ass BM all the time? YES, but I'm not doing all the work.

QueenBeau's picture

Submitted by QueenBeau on Wed, 03/05/2014 - 7:15am

I understand your pain. Yes it is better for a lot of skids to be with their SM than crazy BM, but that doesn't mean it's what SM wants.

You gotta do what's best for you. DH & BM can work it out as far as your SS.