What I found out from my SD
Yesterday was a girls' day out for me and my BD9 and SD9. We saw a movie, went to Steak and Shake, and did a little summer clothes shopping. We had a great day. Well, as we were eating my SD told me that every Friday (we share 50/50 custody w/ BM) when the Skids go back to their mom's house, she sits them down in a chair and debriefs them. As they are sitting there, she will ask them questions and types it all down into the computer. What's funny is the worst thing my SD can think to tell her mother that we do is that [gasp] . . . we make her do chores!!! We make her take her dirty laundry down to the laundry room [OMG]!! She has to empty the dishwasher [terrible]!!! And get this - we make my SD and BD pick up garbage and sticks in the yard before [OMG] my SS or BS mowes the grass [THE HORROR OF IT ALL]!!! When I do laundry, I'm doing it for 6 people. So, each kid has a basket. I will sort the clothes into their basket, and they are responsible for folding and putting away the clothes.
BM actually thinks it's terrible that DH and I are making them do this. She thinks that kids should be kids and not have to be responsible for anything an adult would be responsible for doing. Well, you know what??? Since I was 19, I have had my own household. I have done it all, and I credit my mother and father for TEACHING me how to do those things to run a household. You know what BM does? When she's not married, she lives with her mom. She married when she was 20. That marriage lasted a year, then she moved back into her parents' house until she was 32 when she married my DH. When they divorced, she moved back into her parents' home again and has lived there since. Well, let me clarify that. She AND her brother live in a house next door to their mommy that mommy is paying for. Mommy is near 80 and cooks all of their meals, etc. So, BM is close to being 50 now and has never lived on her own. That is what I am trying to avoid in raising all of my kids. I want them to be self-sufficient and responsible. Is that so terrible???
Over the past year, my DH has gotten a few tattoos. They are very tastefully done and are his own designs, each one meaning something to him. He even has one symbolizing the family (me, him and each one of the 4 kids). Well, BM saw the tattoos and told SS and SD that under no circumstances should he have let them know that he has tattoos, because . . . it will make THEM want to get tattoos and it will make them want to drink alcohol. LOL!!! They're 13 and 9 years old, very sweet and in no way on their way to being delinquents.
I just thought it was all very amusing and thought I would share. We are terrible, terrible parents because we are teaching them to be responsible.
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Comments
The horror of it all!!!
The horror of it all!!! Chores!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What awful people you are for making kids be responsible for themselves! I am disgusted!
Lol, let BM take that one to a judge and see what the judge tells her. What a dummy! Good for you all having your kids learn to be fuctioning members of society.
~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.
Someone needs to put BM out or your missery.
What a pathetic waste of human potential she is. She debriefs the Skids while she types it up?
As for you and DH, you evil tattooed chore pushing child labor exploiting meanies! :? How much more evil could you possibly be. Having your poor kids learn responsibility, participation in the family and family home and generally teaching them to be contributing well adjusted little people! Grrrrrrr. You people are really decent and make me smile. :jawdrop: Ha! Good for you for being actual parents to your kids and doing what you can to counter BM's neurotic BS.
My SS's BioDad sounds much like your Skids BM and Uncle. He lives in a home his parents own and pays no rent. He gets their hand-me-down cars when the buy a different one, they pay his CS on my SS and my SS's 3 out-of-wedlock younger half sibs live with, are supported by and are raised by SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa.
Hey, we may be extened blended family! How much fun would that be?
I was being a smart alec in this post and wanted to state that very clearly so no-one would misinterpret.
Best regards,
I have a feeling...
I have a feeling that BM did the exact same thing to SS before both of her laptops got broken and she abused her meal ticket so much he would no longer fix them for her (BF is a computer engineer and refuses to fix her computers anymore due to the crap she always starts when he does).
I've been doing chores since I was...like 7 or 8. I've lived on my own since I was 17. I would never have been able to make it on my own if I hadn't been taught responsibility by my parents like you are teaching your kids. It's the people who are never taught these things and how to manage their own money that end up living with their parents for their entire lives (or next door to them like my SS's BM).
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
The tragedy!
LOL -- we're some of those chore meanies too!
And my DH quit helping her with the computer too! Amazing how after being busy for months, she finds someone else to fix it!
One Happy Girl...
Do you know what I thought was one of the best parts of your blog? That you were out having a great time with your kids and the SD let you know what is going on in her BM house. I'm sure she dreads the whole big "sit down" there and the fact that she confided this to you hopefully lets you know that you have a pretty open and great relationship with the kids. It also shows (at least to me) that she gets it, that that's strange behavior. The other thing I'm guessing (only guessing here) is that SD knew she could tell you this without fear of your reaction - that you wouldn't take it out on them, or badger them for more info, which is what BM does. So already, you are coming out ahead? Does anyone else agree with this?
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Thank you Guys!
You guys are great! Thank you so much for your support and smart-ass remarks. They make me laugh at how ridiculous it all is. It's funny how serious BM thinks all of it is. I really hope that one day she takes all of this to a Judge. I want to be there to see his reaction.
I really do have a great relationship with both of my stepkids. They are sweet and helpful and have never given me the "you're not my mom" attitude. Another thing SD said was that every Friday during their interrogation, she asks each of them in private if the other one had called me Mom that week. My SD told me that they just lie to her so she doesn't get upset. And what is sad, the last thing she says to them as she relinquishes them for the week is "Remember, I'm your real mom." My SS has called me Mom for a couple of years now. My SD calls me "Mom-May" with that little girlfriend attitude neck move. It's cute.
HappyGirl~
Your BM needs to get a life!!!! Those poor kids! How awful they must be when they go to her house. When are these dumb ass women going to realize that grilling your kids on every detail is going to do NOTHING but push them away and make them resent you. Ask my DH, his mother was the Queen of PAS and pulling antics such as this. Now he doesn't even like to call her on her birthday or mother's day. He basically told her to F- off about 8 or 9 years ago because she was still trying to control his life.
~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.