My ss is stb13, so maybe I don't really 'qualify' to answer yet, but here goes! Also idk if it makes a difference but ss only is with us eow and holidays.

1. Do we take him everytime we go somewhere? NO! This weekend dh and I went on a date without any kids (our bios and ss stayed with grandma.) I don't see many teens wanting to go with their parents everywhere all the time anyway.

2. Does ss celebrate MY bday or MY anniversary with us? NEVER!!! It is MY bday and I do not want him around on MY birthday. Our anniversary is a holiday and we've never had him before on it so it hasn't been a problem. Even if we dis have him though, our anniversary is for US. NO kids!! And dh and I have 3 together so it's not even a step-thing. We just are celebrating our marriage, our love, our vows, our relationship as husband and wife, not parents.

3. Do we ever not go somewhere because ss isn't here?? Yeah right. In fact it is the opposite. We sometime do things and plan things when we know he won't be here.

4. Do we not go somewhere because he doesn't want to go? Nope. If he doesn't want to go, tough. Or he can stay with grandma. That's because he's 12, almost 13. If he were older and didn't want to go we'd just leave him home.

Basically when ss is over we continue with our lives like if he wasn't here. That is our goal at least. If his visit falls on a weekend we have plans or a birthday then we carry on like we normally would. We have 3 bios so it's the same for them. If we have plans to go somewhere we all go. If it is an adult only activity, we make plans for all 4 kids. I disagree with planning or rearranging plans just because it is a visit weekend.

in the beginning, i would go out of my way to take skids places (the zoo, amusement parks, water parks, the mall ~~ dh hates these places, so it was me & skids)... but my feelings towards skids has gone down hill and i don't do shit with them, especially sd who i used to take shopping with me ALL the time and to get toes & nails done...

now i basically consider myself being screwed on skid visitation days... i always make plans when skids are NOT here or i make arrangements ahead of time for them to stay with mil, so dh & i can go somewhere fun!

i am so happy dh is NOT custodial parent.... it almost causes me an anxiety attack just thinking about it.... i don't know if i could handle skids 24/7...

When it comes to taking skids places, do you have limits?
DH usually wants to drive them, although I do offer. So I think my next car will be a 2 seater! My dream machine, something little & good on gas.

Do you take your teenage skids with you every time you go to the movies, out to dinner, etc? DH never will go to a movie, prefers his TV & remote in hand. And dinner, usually says: I'm not that hungry to go anywhere. WTF?

Do your skids celebrate YOUR birthday and anniversary with you?
My bday / anniversay fall within 2 days of eachother so its a combo dinner. Boys are invited but only 1 ever joins in.

Do you ever not do things/go places because the skids aren't with you or they don't want to go?
I love this question. So many don't understand it. Well this separates the men from the boys I guess. DH follows it religiously: we will not go to dinner or any event unless skids asked to him to take them. Then wheels are in motion. If I asked him to go anywhere, just the two of us, he laughs - and says, you know we can't do that what about the boys? Jerk.

We don't always take them, although we are more inclined to do things when the girls are here. Personally I find going on a family outing/trip kind of lame without half of the family with us. (the girls) Example - the fair began last weekend and goes thru the upcoming....we passed on going together last weekend because we would rather take them this coming weekend. I budget money for when the girls are with us for extra curricular and dinners....we kind of go more on impulse and if we have extra funds on hand when they aren't here. My SD's would celebrate our birthdays and anniversary's with us if we asked them to, but we really don't celebrate those events in our family. We do on occasion go out for a bday dinner and if they are not with us at that time we do arrange with their BM's to go and get them and include them if we decide to plan something. My SD13 was more excited about my last BDay then I was and posted Happy BDay comments to me all over her FB. We do not however not do things just because the girls dont want to go. They go where we want, not vice versa. We try to come up with things we think they will enjoy but we arent always right...and they go anyway and deal with it. (who knew they would find putt-putt golfing boring!)

Since we moved away and only see them a few times a year, the visits have gotten much better. We plan alot of outings for them during the time they are with us. I think it has made it much better for all of us because they don't feel like they HAVE to come every other weekend, and we don't feel like we HAVE to entertain them every other weekend. The visits have actually been enjoyable. I have always liked my stepkids, they are good kids. We went through a bit of a difficult time with the oldest last year but I attribute that to normal teenaged brain damage.

I have already raised two girls. I don't want to raise anymore. So our relationship has been more like a fun aunt. I do expect them to follow house rules and they have actually been more receptive to them than my own when they were growing up...lol!

Usually in the summer I will take my grandson during the same time that we have them. He is 3 and we all enjoy him. They love him and it gives me a channel to focus on so I don't wind up nitpicking them to death because it is so infrequent that we have kids around. I admit I am extremely set in my ways except with my grandson, so I guess having him during their visits actually makes it more enjoyable for everyone because I am a lot more tolerant of him. I freely admit that...lol!

I guess we're fuddy-duddies - we really don't go anywhere.

When it comes to taking skids places, do you have limits? not really - they go where we go.

Do you take your teenage skids with you every time you go to the movies, out to dinner, etc? we don't really go to the movies, but if we go out to dinner, both SKs are with us

Do your skids celebrate YOUR birthday and anniversary with you? No. Our anniversary is for us. My birthday generally falls on a day they're not with us so we've never really had to do anything. My SS8 and SS20 will call me to wish me a Happy Birthday, but SD15 has never wished me HB.

Do you ever not do things/go places because the skids aren't with you or they don't want to go? Not really. They don't have a choice - we go as a family. Every now and then we'll leave SD15 at the house but it's never for very long and generally she wants to go because she gets bored at home.