Help me get through to my fiancé!
My fiancé, my biological daughters (13 & 16), and I have been living together for 15 months. It has been an extremely rough journey, but we have overcome numerous hurdles. Yet, just as we were approaching a sense of harmony, the 20 year old stepson moved in with us as well. I insisted that we turn the formal living room into a suite for him, so he would be comfortable, and feel welcome as an EQUAL sibling. Yet, equality doesn't end with each kid having their own room. It needs to extend across the board with regards to discipline and responsibilities. Am I wrong? The fact that my fiancé babies his ADULT son and tolerates behaviors from him that were completely unacceptable coming from my daughters is causing confusion and turmoil in the house. He thinks I'm just being unreasonable and need to let it go. Yet, my girls and I now feel like second rate citizens in our own home. The hired help in a sense. Very much a "Cinderella" scenario. His biological son is quite obviously being favored to the point of even out ranking me! They stand side by side, bonding over issues and looking down on my girls and I. The families are completely divided over this. As far as we've come, I'm not ready to let his son's presence ruin it. Please help! How do we get past the anger and pain and become bonded as a couple? Parents? Family?
I would insist he listen and
I would insist he listen and agree to equal sharing of household tasks, or go on strike. Remind him that you and your girls are not there to be household help but a family. You and your daughters stop doing chores until he understands that you are not his maids.
If this doesn't work,I would plan to move out as soon as possible.
I agree strike, strike,
I agree strike, strike, strike!!!
At those ages everyone should contribute to the household, so if SS doesn't no of you have to either let DH do it.
Thanks for the advice. I have
Thanks for the advice. I have contemplated going on strike but decided trying a chore chart first. Well, that idea blew up in my face. The step son has never been required to do chores and has an arms length list of things he refuses to do. So, he chose to go away for the summer rather then be required to clean the bathrooms every 3 weeks. The fiancé I thought supported me in this. But, when the list was presented to the kids, he stood tight lipped as though he knew nothing about it. Now, his son has moved out temporarily and I'm apparently to blame for it. I just want us to reach a common ground before his son returns, so we can avoid the confusion and turmoil that we've lived with for the past two months. Trust me, moving out has crossed my mind too. It just seems a shame to let his son's presence cause that much damage. Yes, I am desperately wanting concealing. I think it would do a world of good for ALL of us. Getting it scheduled is like pulling teeth. And, mark my word, the stepson will have no part of it anyway.
Dating for 6years finally