DH forgot anniversary AND wants to keep SD an extra night on top of it
Forgive me for needing to vent & post twice today..
Today is our anniversary. Not only did DH forget it was our anniversary, but he is supposed to meet BM halfway (BM lives 1.5 hour away) to drop off SD to her (they do this every Friday becaause BM gets SD on weekends) & that is not happening now.
We got snow last night & the roads were pretty bad this morning but they aren't bad now. BM told DH she can't meet him halfway because the roads are too bad. BM's area only got 2 inches & the roads are clear now (I know because my best friend lives right next to her and I asked her about it).
Mind you, this girl uses EVERY EXCUSE she can possibly use to get out of taking her kid. She is only supposed to have her 2 freakin days a week & she can't even do that. She is the most pathetic excuse for a mother I've ever seen.
Now if the roads were legitimately bad and it was too dangerous, that's another story because I wouldn't want DH driving in it anyway. But the roads are fine. It's just another one of her excuses.
When I told DH about it, he said he should be able to keep his daughter for an extra night! What, like 5 nights a week isn't enough?! SMH! I told him he needs to grow some balls and man up to BM.
AND it's our anniversary. How lovely and convenient.
Absolutely ridiculous, he
Absolutely ridiculous, he should have made arrangements for BM to get SD EARLY!
That would have been nice.
That would have been nice. Not only did he not remember the anniversary, but after he realized what day it was he still did not see an issue with keeping SD tonight. Smh.
That sucks, my DH used to
That sucks, my DH used to risk life and limb to take his daughter to her BM's every other weekend, to the point of it being downright dangerous.
I think perhaps this is a case where you should take yourself out this evening for some pampering on his dime. Maybe a mani and pedi, new hair style, some new boots and perhaps a massage? Treat yourself.
^^ This just because he
Exactly! I used to hear "I
Exactly! I used to hear "I can't go to your office Xmas party because my kids neeeeeeeeeeed me."
Hello? Back in the day couples used to do ADULT time and hired babysitters or put the kids to bed EARLY!! Obviously in today's kid-worship world, that is not the case.
Exactly. Every time DH asks
Exactly. Every time DH asks MIL to watch SD, she acts like we're doing something wrong by having couple time.
IF your MIL is over the age
IF your MIL is over the age of 50 she's absolutely INSANE!! Back in the early sixties I can distinctly remember my uncle, aunt, mother and father putting all of us kids to bed at SEVEN on a SATURDAY so they can pop popcorn, have some adult beverages and watch the original Star Trek.
I'm 27 but I still remember
I'm 27 but I still remember being put to bed early so my parents could have couple time, and I turned out perfectly fine! Actually I think it's great that I was exposed to that because now I know that a marriage needs to be put first and the kids will turn out ok!
& yes, MIL is over 50. Idk what her deal is.
Ok you are my youngest son's
Ok you are my youngest son's age then; he's 26. If we kids got out of bed during Star Trek, there was the belt readily available and my uncle and father had NO qualms about using it on me, my sister or my cousins!!
Could be.
Could be.
ikr! what the hell is up
ikr! what the hell is up with that? everything is so child-centric that it's wrong for parents to have a date night, or some alone time after kid's bedtime? MIL used to give us the big hairy stink eye if we even hinted about doing something without skids... sheesh!
i'm sorry about your anni. well, belated happy anniversary to you, i hope you treated yourself to something nice as a reward for dealing with this crap for this long!!! }:)
True. I'm so angry now I
True. I'm so angry now I don't know what I am going to do.
You're DH needs to man up.
You're DH needs to man up.
Yup, I told him I can't
Yup, I told him I can't respect a man with no balls.
I feel your frustration I
I feel your frustration I promise DH and I had our anniversary day in October though never celebrated. It was the day before DH was leaving to go back to work and I had taken the whole day off of work to spend with him. Instead everyone had projects for him until about noon which was fine so I thought but I didn't know he had told SS he was going to pick him up early as he had been good and SS had been super needy before that and also hadn't gotten to ride his ATV due to DH doing repairs so DH said he could ride it before DH went to work as he doesn't even see it when DH is gone. I got screamed at that he didn't have enough time for everyone and I just needed to get over it. It was a normal day before he leaves SS picked the dinner spot and everything I was livid. DH later apologized on our way out of town saying his actions were absurd and he truly felt bad and that was it - he had a gift in his backpack but I never got anything or acknowledgement of our anniversary besides the apology.
Sometimes as steps we screwed and it hurts and it sucks.
However based on your post today about sex and this it seems as though not only are being completely being put aside because of SD but maybe there is a underlying issue you don't know about...guilty dad syndrome? How much does he really get to spend time with SD on week nights? When was the last time he made time for you and not just talking sexually?
I just in my mind I see deeper problems and I feel like you need to sit down and talk to him not in a accusing but a concerned way.
Ugh that sucks!! Thanks for
Ugh that sucks!! Thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone though.
DH had MAJOR guilty dad syndrome, although I can't for the life of me understand why. Before SD started school in August, DH had 50/50 week on/week off. BM lives 1.5 hours from us so that didn't work once SD started school- that's when they switched to us having SD all week long and BM taking her on weekends. Even though they made that agreement, BM does not take her every weekend (she always has an excuse, like today) AND she doesn't pay child support on top of it.
On weeknights, lets see.. he gets off at different times depending on when the job he is working ends (he works in heating and air conditioning) but he tries to get off in time to get SD off the bus at 3:30. So he has from that time until SD goes to bed around 8:30. So roughly 5 hours per day. When BM does decide to take SD for the weekend, she always makes sure to give her back early on Sunday so DH has about 1/2 the day on Sunday with her as well.
The last time DH made time for me.. sheesh.. we went out to dinner a week ago.. but we were only there a couple hours & then we went home & DH went to sleep.
Yep...like I said I truly
Yep...like I said I truly feel your pain what sucks is when he is home we have SS 15/21 days and that leaves the middle weekend for us but past few times SS had thrown a fit to come over or BM has made plans and DH has first right to watch SS if she will be gone 4+ hours and I am hoping maybe this time we will have our weekend as when he is at work it is all short phone calls (he works offshore in NY) so no real way to make up time.
5 hours should be good I would think. I was thinking he didn't get home until 5-6PM which I could see him wanting more time. That is one thing about my DH is since when he is home he is off he optimizes time with SS and as soon as it hits bedtime we get time.
Like I said I just feel like you need to have a talk and don't attack but say "I have noticed blah blah and want to make sure things are okay" for example "I have noticed you have seemed tired a lot more and it concerns me can we talk?" Don't bring up the trying to get pregnant as that adds additional stress to the conversation which could make him not want to talk period.
You say MIL makes a big deal about watching SD but is there anyone else who can do it? Maybe one of your friends?
That sucks it was only a couple hours but it is better than nothing.
Forget his birthday I am
Forget his birthday :?
I am so sorry though. Sometimes it is so sickening and selfish.
Accidental post
Accidental post
So DH just got home (with
So DH just got home (with SD). He and SD each had a little bouquet of flowers for me and DH had alcohol. The flowers are pretty, but he does this every time he does something like this so it's getting old. He never buys me flowers unless he's done something to piss me off.
That's a great idea, Millhouse!
This is when I would have
This is when I would have been a birch and said "So what is the special occasion?" DH mainly send me flowers if he is gone for say my birthday.
He did it once when he made me mad and I asked the occasion as before I blocked BM on Facebook I had seen post about how the few times he was in the wrong and so would get her flowers (yes I went way back snooping on her page) and she would post a pic "My hubby she does know how to fix upsetting me" and that's when that ended.
DH knows cuddles that hold off "intimate" time and massages are my cures in fact right now he's doing the cuddles because while he was gone he severely hurt my feelings but didn't have the phone service to get me a massage...both things to me require more a sacrifice than going to a grocery store to pick up flowers - cuddles is obvious and the massage he has to make time during a certain period and normally my lady ask him what he did wrong so it's a additional time for him to think about it.
I totally get your
I totally get your frustration -?it is just not right!! I agree with the other posters - do something nice for yourself ! And- no- the flowers are not enough to justify his behavior!
Sooo what happened...did you
Sooo what happened...did you take the good advice and go out on the town solo?!
Thank you all! Yes, I went
Thank you all! Yes, I went out with my girlfriend!
Thanks for all the advice!
Unfortunately, we had another incident today smh. DH has a horrible habit of getting involved & making comments when I say things to SD. For example, she was playing on her tablet & it was some game that let her make animal sounds. After about 10 minutes of loud duck quacking, I told her that's enough. Of course DH had to make a comment & say he didn't think what SD was doing was a big deal.
I flipped. I asked him why he has something to say every single time.. All I asked was for her to stop the duck noises.. That's it! I am the adult & she is the child & he shouldn't be correcting me. He's also teaching SD that she doesn't need to listen to or respect me & it's a horrible example to show his daughter this is how a husband treats his wife.
To say we had a bad week is an understatement.
What an ass! I would get
What an ass!
I would get right in my DH's face and ask him point blank: "WHY are you with me again?" :?
Because any "man" that would undermine your authority, disrespect/correct you in front of a child and be completely oblivious to you and your feelings in regards to your anniversary is SO not worth your precious time and energy. :sick:
Yup that's exactly what he
Yup that's exactly what he did, & that is just in the past few days!
I don't know how I stay sane sometimes and sometimes I wonder why I would even be with someone like that. I mean, what am I getting out of this? A bunch of drama and stress?
I don't know how you stay
I don't know how you stay sane either... :?
I would NEVER put up with that shit, I know that we are all different and to each their own when it comes to relationships and who a person chooses to be with but I will say that I believe that YOU.DESERVE.BETTER. *HUGS*