SD has already started kindergarten and has already been in trouble several times for behavioral issues. I noticed since these issue have been brought to light by her teacher that FH has been more firm with her but it'll be a long road if he keeps up on it. SD had two years of preschool so her social skills have no explanation except she is a greedy, spoiled brat. She is definitely ADD, ADHD, or some other variation; no self control whatsoever.

I have three children myself (15, 12, and 2) and also have two nieces and nephew (5,6, and 9) so I have good grasp on how a child this age should behave. I don't have extraordinary expectations. If we go to McDonald's, to use your example, I don't expect them to sit with hands and napkins in lap. I do however expect her to NOT stand on the table. Everytime we go anywhere with her, we explain how we expect her to behave and also tell her what we are going for, and that, no, she's getting anything. Doesn't do a lick of good...FH will have her repeat everything we just said and she says she understands. Like clockwork, as soon as we enter she starts pointing to all the crap she wants and the melt down begins. It always ends the same...her being dragged, kicking and screaming out of the store.

BM would never give full custody. Her social life is of utmost importance but so is her pride and feeling of control. It just never occured to me that a kid throwing a fit should be give "cookies and milk" to calm down and I don't understand this logic. I also, don't understand why someone has to watch SD while BM goes to the store for pickles or the bank. The future with this child does seem very, very bleak. I'm not one to sit back and let a child act like an animal.