You didn't mention children of your own. Good. Tell this fellow you made a mistake. Take all the blame but tell him you just can't keep doing this. Tell him he needs to find a woman who has children of her own who is willing to spend the time taking care of his children and in return he will help take care of hers.

This is extremely one sided. You are cooking, cleaning, the list is endless as well as providing a sexual partner for him while getting very little in return. A marriage is supposed to be 50/50 although most people would say theirs is 60/40 with them putting in the larger part. Yours is 90/10.

Have you considered that perhaps that's all he wants - not so much a girlfriend in a sharing relationship but a cook, maid, sex partner and someone to split the rent with? Maybe he's not doing it maliciously, maybe its completely subconscious, but it's still there and grinding you into the ground. I'm especially suspicious when I read your nick name - May December. Is he old compared to you and most couples age differences?

Tell him you've made a mistake - take all the blame. Tell him that by the end of the month you'll have found your own place. Start sleeping on the couch tonight. Don't argue about it - the decisions made. Don't be surprised if he just get angry and says to leave immediately. But no matter what he says leave. Find a guy without children and have your own if you want them. Then you can work for your kids instead of his.

It is unreasonable for him to get upset. Not your kids, not your problem.

I think May to December SM has a bit of a point to be honest. She came on here for some advice about going to a school function and Orange County CA advises her to leave her husband. I know this is 'the internet' where anything goes but come on at least try and offer some real advice or don't comment at all.

That just is not reasonable or proportionate advice in my view.

And yes, I opt out of school functions.

Have you tried to have a conversation with your DH about how you want to spend the weekends? Are there things you want to do that he does not? Can you compromise by doing some things together, some apart and some not at all? Like an Episcopalian husband married to a Catholic wife who answered a question about their Sundays like this, " One week we do NOT go to my church, and the next week we do NOT go to hers?"

If there are big important events looming in the SK's lives, go! Be there, weep tears of joy, partake! If this is yet another boring basketball/baseball/fill-in-the-sport event, of which there are 2 every week, miss it, and discuss with your DH how no one needs to feel bad about it.

For many years my boys played every sport known to man. Last year by the time baseball season rolled around I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown after driving them both to every soccer and basketball practice and game. I told my sons ( my bio-kids) that i needed time to take care of me, and go to the gym, not to the baseball field. They survived. My DH would sometimes go to some games that i would skip, and vice versa.

I believe in managing everyone's expectations. You not coming to every event does NOT mean that you do not care for your skids. It means you need time for yourself so that you could be a better, more caring version of you next time something really big rolls around ( like graduation).

My husband is the same damn way. I don't want to spend every moment with SD7 stuck to my leg with her swamp breath! My job is stressful and I have a full plate. I opened a new restaurant and had been working SO many hours. I was so stressed I couldn't sleep, eat, anything… then "kid weekend.." I asked if I could go to a hotel with my PREGNANT MARRIED girlfriend 30 minutes away and just hang out. He was all pissy about me not going, like I was trying to get away from his kid. REALLY, I was trying to just relax. Not get away from her, but charge my battery so I didn't explode. Any time I want to be away on kid weekend it's a huge fight. Um… hello… I have NO kid, which means I can do what I want!!! You deal with your kid!

OMG! I know how u feel!

I shouldnt laugh but I did, I joined this site as I was a step child with alot of drama between my parents, so when I became a step mother I felt it would be useful to have a site that I could lean on should I need it. I also felt that its better to be prepared and aware of all the potential drama than to be naive and suffer unnecessary stress, why not take the advice from others who have been there than trying to blindly navigate your way? But at first I do was horrified by the reactions of some members here.
That being said my SD is only 3, our situation has been stable and amicable with no drama for the last 12 months, maybe im lucky, maybe somethings brewing but so far all is good. However you have to remember when you are posting here that there are alot of members who started off just like you, just like anyone putting in alot of effort in attempt to do the right thing, however for some people that yeilds good results and good relationships with the step children, for others it soon twists to resentment.
If you do not wish to attend your step childrens minor school functions then dont. Speak to your husband and discuss how involved with those things that you wish to be. You are just as entitled to some me time as anyone else, and yes you married a man with children but that doesnt mean that you have to do everything or even nothing. You get to discuss that with your husband and do as you wish, its your life.

Oh and by the way Orange County is always telling people to leave, Im always surprised when I see a reply from him that doesnt say leave.
There will be some members that swear by disengagement, others who have ZERO to do with the BM and others that attempt to reach out to the BM and have some kind of dialogue going.

I've found that it's really important to talk to him about it. Reminisce/fantasise about dating like a normal kid-free couple. He might get the gist and agree to some kid-free time. We've only just started establishing date nights, even the skids thought it was odd we didn't do it, but they also don't realise how much time they suck up. If you're tired and don't want to go to a stupid concert, then tell him. If it were every concert all the time, then I'd understand if he was upset. But a one-off? Come on, he needs to cut you some slack. The most important thing is that the child is happy that their parents are there. You're not the parent. Supposedly, the jnterests of the child come first, that's the priority. If the parents make it to the concert, then you being there is.a bonus for them, if you can't make it, it's not the end of the world. Your health also needs to be your priority, and your SO should love you enough for you to put your health first when you're strung out.

Leaving him isn't necessarily the answer, but if he's getting upset at this stuff, you need to start communicating honestly, both ways,