Well we were going out to 'somewhere special' last Friday - possibly for lunch when out of the blue ss16 calls husband and demands he comes and picks him up.....wtf???

so I got in the car pissed off and was driving to florida....stuff him...that turd that threatened to slap my face and has never liked me just stole our plans....

Its now Monday and Im still pissed....

and you know what else....he pays for the little brats cell phones...yet doesnt pay for mine???

I run out of credit all the time....as Im on a month to month basis.....so what ever...u cant contact me and so may not know where I am. }:)

ESM, I feel just the same. I have no trust in HD anymore. Isn't this a double standard? I mean, if WE put THEM second in our lives I wonder what their reaction would be? HD swears he told SD her behavior was uncalled for and she should have respect for me in this house but I never heard their conversation. It makes me wonder what he really DID say and just how he said it. Last night I had to - again - remind him that SD and I are NOT "equal" as he says. It also makes me wonder what BM would have said if HD had told her that she and SD were "equal" when they were married.

I went thru the same with my SSs and husband UNTIL the boys started attacking their dad. First time we forgave easy but second time not as easy. This last time was the finaly clincher. Until your SD starts attacking her own father (your husband) I don't think he quite understands how it feels.

I went through a period of time with my SO where I wasn't sure we would even HAVE a relationship at all because of the way skids handled the news of him being with me. He was so hesitant to tell them he was afraid to "lose" his kids, knowing full well they would be difficult about it. However, he reassured me there was nothing to worry about and that he was going to be with me. Well sure enough he told them he was in a relationship with me and they threatened never to speak to him again so what did he do? He broke it off with me and said his kids were not ready to move on and he needed to be there for them!! I'm not kidding you, it was ridiculous. This was at 10:00 at night and the next day I had to work so I intended to come home and pack to leave. However, the next morning he begged me to stay and admitted he made a mistake and he didn't know what the hell he was thinking. He apologized and said I want you to hear something...he walked over to his phone and called both SD20 and SD23 and told them he was NOT breaking it off with me because he was in love with me, and that they needed to get over it otherwise they would have to get used to him not being in their lives. They didn't like it but after a few weeks of not talking to him, they came around like I knew they would. It was rough for a little while but he told them he loved them and wanted them in his life but that he was making room for someone special to him and that they needed to be respectful and accept that he was in love with someone that was not their mother. It was hard but eventually...they just dropped it and they stopped trying to end our relationship realizing they would lose their dad if they kept it up.

My SO has done what your DH does A LOT but it keeps getting better and easier for him to put his foot down. He stopped running to them because he felt like it was unrealistic for SD's to expect he would drop all to see them and they needed to be like everyone else and make plans in advance. At first they didn't get it until they would ditch him and call later in the day wanting to go out to eat and he would say, "Sorry...already made plans, I called you all day today because you said you were free and wanted to get together but you were obviously busy...maybe another time." Even if he was not busy he would do this to show them that they needed to be respectful and either cancel or follow through with advanced notice. Now it's a lot better, he doesn't put up with that anymore.

I was exactly where you were...I felt like I was in 2nd place and that's so unfair. I told him if we were going to be together we need to be a team and SD's are not on my team they are always separate. If I am to be his wife and we're not working together on things and standing as a united front we will not have a successful marriage. I asked him if another failed marriage is something he is prepared to add to his list of regrets because I certainly don't want even ONE divorce! We have always been in love but it was so hard to keep everything together because of his situation. Now that things have settled down, he barely sees his kids (their choice) and him and I have a great relationship. He just needed to see that it was ok to keep in touch with them and also have a life with me, that he deserved happiness with someone else after his first marriage just didn't work out.

I dont trust my df around the skids either. He acts the same way the guys you are decsribing does. I never know what they'll say or if they will guilt trip him into leaving me even though they never come around. B4 me they got everything they wanted, after me its the opposite. They are all over 18 and need to stop relying on him. I feel bad not wanting to see the skids alone, but I dont bc of his lack of ability to stand up to them. He has no backbone around them. It is really sad (for him, frustrating for me.)

I dont trust my df around the skids either. He acts the same way the guys you are decsribing does. I never know what they'll say or if they will guilt trip him into leaving me even though they never come around. B4 me they got everything they wanted, after me its the opposite. They are all over 18 and need to stop relying on him. I feel bad not wanting to see the skids alone, but I dont bc of his lack of ability to stand up to them. He has no backbone around them. It is really sad (for him, frustrating for me.)