Will It Ever End?
Over and over again on this site you hear people encouraging disengaging from the situations that you can. I am currently disengaged from anything to do with BM. Over the first few years I have tried repeatedly, for the sake of the skids, to help their BM. Little history: she battles with prescription pill addictions. She also suffers from Bi-Polar disorder. I've taken calls in the middle of the night to calm chaotic thoughts (once she thought SD was left at the recreational department - although she had been brought home 5 hours earlier by BM's MIL after they realized BM had taken some pills and should not be driving).
After a stay in rehab, DH said BM could only see the skids under supervision. When the kids cried (they were only 7yr & 8yr) because they wanted to see her, I took them to eat lunch with her.
Do get the wrong idea, there have also been times when I know she's in her right mind and still not doing right by the skids, she and I have exchanged very heated words. I am in no way trying to brag on myself, but she made it very clear that she was jealous of my relationship with her daughter. I made it very clear that I was not trying to take her place, but that I would never turn my back on either of the skids because of her insecurities.
I do not bad mouth BM, I do not allow DH or the skids to do so either without saying how disrespectful I think it is. DH and I have been together for 9 years. Every weekend for the past month the skids have come back from BM's and repeated the nasty things she is saying about me. Not that this is anything new, it's been like this on and off for the 9 years. No matter how good I am to her children: "She's trying to take my place as your mother" If I back away (when I could, when she was clean enough) "She treats her kids better than she does you two" "She isn't what she is pretending to be to you" <----> Um, excuse me, they live with me...I would have to "pretend" all the damn time! NO THANKS! Not to mention, she's remarried, but tells those children she loves their dad & if something happens between DH & I or her and their stepfather, she will try to work things out with their dad because they deserve to have their real family together.
SERIOUSLY!? Is this the Bi-polar, the Crazy Ex-Wife, the Baby-Momma drama - or all the above - & will it ever end? (In need of serious encouragement)
She's bipolar and a drug
She's bipolar and a drug addict and probably personality disordered. I'm afraid you are in it for the long haul with that trifecta for crazy. I'm sorry.
My Aunt is bipolar and a drug
My Aunt is bipolar and a drug addict (now recovered) and has borderline personality disorder. My cousin, the female on anyway, definitely chose her step mother who raised her over my aunt. But it wasn't in the teen years. It happened about twenty or so after she graduated nursing school. She's in her thirities now and has nothing to do with my aunt, her mother. I think she had to grow up some and get out in the world to really appreciate all her step mother did for her.
Yep. True that. We see it
Yep. True that. We see it pretty much every day here.
Thank you! At least there's
Thank you! At least there's hope that once they are grown, they will remember who was there for them and tried to do what was right.
I've been completely
I've been completely disengaged from BM about 2 months. That's why it's confusing me as to why in the past month, she's increased her degrading comments and trying to turn the skids against me. The only thing I can think of that may have brought this on is that SD confronted BM about the drug use & wouldn't go visit for a few weeks, then when the skids did go visit SS also confronted her. She believes that I am behind the skids finally speaking up about her addiction. They are 15 & 14 yrs old...I don't say anything. My SD called me crying when BM accidentally sent her a text stating she was taking pills for her nerves because SD was being mean to her. That's when SD decided on her own she wanted to stay away until BM cleaned up. I just wish BM could see the damage she does to her children. Between the worry & stress she causes them with the addiction then making them feel like they have to choose between herself and me. It's just wrong. I have a bio daughter who is also 15, she has a step mom, I would never want my child to feel like she has to choose who she can love and be loved by. These kids (step & bio) need all the love and support from all the families.