So petty but it irks my nerves .. the "one-upper" BM
DH emailed BM (since she's out of state and has no physical access) and gave her updates about what the girls have been doing. We alternate doing this just for the simple fact that we hope when the girls are with her full time, she'll do the same. (Unlikely, we know, but we're paying into Karma in hopes it works out).
He told her we would be going to Hershey Park at the end of the month and her response was "Yeah, the kids really enjoyed that park when we took them the last time, I'm sure they'll have a fine time."
Actually BM, the girls don't even remember it .. the oldest one was 3 at the time. Just her way of digging in and reminding us that nothing we ever do with them is something she hasn't already done .. which, when it comes to buying things, she's right. But here's a quick list of things she has NEVER done with her children that I have:
1. Take them to the library
2. Take them to the science center for kid adventure weekends
3. Take them to the park with jars/books/notepads and have them "document" nature
4. Dye Easter eggs
5. Make homemade Christmas ornaments
6. Make scrapbooks of all the fun things we do
7. Take pictures with a camera (simple, but she really NEVER takes pictures of or with them)
8. Take them to ethnic restaurants and have "eating adventures"
9. Teach them to swim
10. Teach them to ride bikes (without training wheels)
11. Take them to Art Museums (TONS of free ones around here with all kinds of kid activities)
12. Geocaching
Do your BM's do this too? It's not a competition .. I genuinely care and love these kids. I want to give them experiences to enrich their lives and teach them how to be good, well-rounded people. They have a BLAST when we get together and go out and do things. I RARELY spend anymore than $20 for the entire activity, and we have just as much fun as they do at Chuck-E-Cheese or whatever other mindless activity she takes them to.
So go ahead BM, try and one-up me. That's fine. I'm mature and responsible enough to recognize that this is NOT a competition. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's about the kids and what they learn from us. So what is you are teaching them exactly, BM? It's probably not as fantastic as you think, but your golden uterus has clearly clouded the rational thinking portion of your brain (assuming one ever existed in that fried head of yours).
/end rant
She actively asserts that I
She actively asserts that I am a bad influence on her kids and that they shouldn't be around me. I didn't realize loving and caring for your kids was such a crime?
As for all the activities, I just try to make it a priority to keep them somewhat stimulated. I'm not always glued to them, they do spend a lot of time doing independent activities/crafts, etc. If it were up to BM, if they're not out spending money on ridiculous things, they're home planted in front of the TV.
Why will the girls be with
Why will the girls be with her full time?
She's in TX for the school
She's in TX for the school year to attend C-School for the Navy. This is a one-off situation. The custody agreement royally sucks in this department; so they will be staying with her for the fall semester of the school year.
We have every intention of getting them back here for the spring semester, but I have no doubt there will be a huge fight over that. That's a whole other hot mess of drama.
This is a double-edged sword
This is a double-edged sword .. initially, I felt the same way as you. We don't have to tell her anything. We certainly aren't required to. But, when the coin flips and the skids are with HER all the time, we don't want to be left completely in the dark.
The skids will be with her, in TX, for almost 4 full months with no visitation from DH. It's nice to know what they're up to and how they're doing. For us, it's not about butting into BM's life .. but rather staying involved in the skids' lives .. does that make sense? The skids are 4 and 6; they don't particularly like talking on the phone. If we relied on them to tell us what they've been up to, we'd never hear much of anything.
Granted, we make a huge leap of faith that she will return the favor and provide any level of similar information .. but I feel like one of us has to start, and it surely won't be her.