Picking a fight I guess but I am in a bad mood
So DH works construction, its raining today so he cant work. (which lately has bee most days it seems if he works one day a week we are lucky).
Any ways I am in a bad mood, I work 40+ hours a week, come home, cook clean take care of everything. While DH is home all day he does NOTHING! It drives me nuts. He even makes me take the trash out (i know i should but he should to but never does he.)
So DH didnt work today, and we are not suppose to have SD this weekend, but she wanted to come over. He goes and gets her today. They spend the day together, movie lunch everything. While I am at work. I know he needs to spend time with her but it gets on my last nerve. (childish yes but I cant help feel this way and its a vey good outlet to say it somewhere, I am annoyed he doesnt work all the time and just does what he wants.)
So I guess I am in a pissy mood, I told him SD is not to bring her phone to the house (BM got her one for Christmas which totally suprised us all). I told him she was still posting things on snapchat, and instagram that she shouldnt and its not going to happen at our house. ( I have to deal with her when she is being a brat, or if she wants something while she is at our house so i think I should make some of the rules).
His response was "Here we go agian". It may be alittle bit of me being annoyed that he get to me lazy all winter while I work full time. But also I wanted a weekend with out her, and the fact she needs to stop posting boob shots online and sending them to god knows who.
I am grumpy, and I think he babies her beyond belief. No he cant tell her no more phone at our house or she cries. Well she can send dirty photos to who ever she wants and he is ok with that. Heaven forbid he make her upset.
Yes I am in a bad moon and I just needed to vent, but he also needs to understand I would like one weekend with out her around just me and him. (and the phone thing really bugs me, it looks bad on us when she sends these out at our house. Like we are unable to control her, which is true, becuase he mom and her dad are idioits)
He does realize that you guys
He does realize that you guys can get in trouble too if she's sending dirty pictures underage. Right??? Like that doesn't just affect her. It can screw him over too. And by effect you.
yes he does, him and her BM
yes he does, him and her BM are just idiots. I am in such a bad mood right now.
I dont even want to go home becuase I know I am going to say something I will regret. But how hard is to open his eyes and see she is too immature (or disrespectful) to have a phone or social media.
She is posting
She is posting boob pictures online and he is OK with it? Cool. Print them out as big as you can and hang them up on the wall. In the kitchen, next to the bathroom mirror, on the steering wheel of his car...... Since he is so proud of them and all. Maybe put another print out next to it saying "Hey look - it's SD's tits!" LOLOLOLOL
LOL I dont think I would do
LOL I dont think I would do good in prison. I just want to shake him. I do ask him all the time " are you ok with guys seeing her like that?" and "you know what this leads to right, sex". He just mad at me. I just should let it go but I am like stop being such a wuss and take care of this.
I am just annoyed that he doesnt care because he cant hurt her feelings. Any time he does try to say anyhting she cries and leaves. Well maybe she should leave because its not my weekend and I want to netflix and wine alone!
Prison?? Is she a minor??
Prison?? Is she a minor?? Seriously? Holy crap. He is letting his minor daughter post her boobs on line? He knows that she can get in trouble for that herself, right? If she is sending pics to someone then she is distributing kiddie porn and he is facilitating it by having knowledge and continuing to provide the phone. Granted, it is not likely that he would be prosecuted but if she sends a pic to someone with a protective parent who finds it all hell can break loose! I will never understand these daddddeees who on one hand view them as "their little girls" and on the other allow them to act like tramps because they don't want to discipline them.
This is what I would do in
This is what I would do in your place, no advice, just what "I" would do:
(1) Ask him to take the trash out, ask him to have you a glass of wine when you walk thru the door (call him a few minutes before you arrive), ask him to do any household chores to help you out. If he refuses to do them, stand your ground when you get home and make him do them. I do this, I raise hell, until he does it; then I say "thank you for helping out, when I ask". It works, I know, because I worked for 20 years, while my DH was home disabled, before I retired.
(2) Set boundaries on discussing SD's visits. She is NOT allowed to come without you and he discuss it and agree.
(3) If you do not want SD's phone in the house, tell them both, and stick to your guns. If SD brings it, make sure it is put on the counter where it is turned off and supervised until she leaves your home. Explain to DH if he doesn't put a stop to the porn shots, you will take it away and march to the Police with it.
(4) Don't make idol threats, make promises and keep them.
It took me 30+ years to find out my DH and SD were betraying me; then 5 years ago I lost it, called the cops and followed through with everything to put a stop to the entire game. I set boundaries for myself and I stick to them to this day.
Yes, it causes a fight, it causes your marriage to be different, it causes different relationships between everyone involved; with that said, I do not tolerate the hate, discontent, and I have peace and respect in my own home.
If my grown SD or DH do not like it, "don't let the door hit you in the butt"; I have told them I will show them both the door, when she visits, including my two grown SS's and or their spouses and families. My SD57 is my worse nightmare, but she walks on egg shells around me now. If your SD doesn't follow the rules, call BM and have her come pick her up, while you hold the door open.
Once you have set ground rules and stand your "hateful SM" ground, it gets easier and you get more respect. Maybe not loving respect, but it breeds peace.
If he can’t participate in
If he can’t participate in the home when he isn’t working he shouldn’t have access to the home when he is..... or ever for that matter. You are not his live in chore bitch sugar mamma sex toy so quit acting like it.
He and his prior relationship crotch nugget can GTFO and stay out IMHO.
Call the locksmith, rekey the locks and have him served with divorce papers at work. Make him schedule to come get his shit and have security there when he arrives. Purge your life of this shallow and polluted user gene pool.
GRRRRRRR!
This guy is using you. He
This guy is using you. He could not survive and live the life he is living with his spoiled little brat if it wasn't for you working so hard. Why do you put yourself through this? Are you that afraid of being alone? Being alone is not the worse thing. It sounds like you need to distance yourself and he needs another job where he actually works and makes decent money. He's not cutting it as a provider, husband or parent.