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How does this site work????

GizmoBarnOwl's picture

Ive been making blogs, but I am not sure how to see other peoples blogs, do they appear on the forum or do you just have to have a nose at other peoples profiles? Or if I have an issue that I would like to discuss, do I need to make it into a forum topic or is a blog ok to get it seen for discussion?

...really confused because people have been really helpful and given me opinions and shared experiences on my blogs, but I am just not sure how / where they saw them in the first place. They never seem to come up on the forums as far as I can see.

So how does this all work??

HELLLLLLP Smile

Jsmom's picture

A blog shows up on the front page, A forum which is where you posted this shows up in the forums. Which are to the right of the home page...

paul_in_utah's picture

Here's how this site works:

You come on here and bitch about your problems. Then you read about other people's problems. Then you come back the next day and do the same thing. Sounds silly, but it is amazingly cathartic.

GizmoBarnOwl's picture

Ha Ha! Yes I LOVE this group for that reason!! Im getting slightly addicted, im just having trouble figuring out the ins and out of the group. ...Im not very good with technology and the like :S

aggravated1's picture

Just be prepared to bitch about your problems, wait for other people to bitch about how you handled your problem, then you bitch back at them for them bitching at you, and in return bitch at them on their blogs in retaliation for them bitching about you in the first place. Just kidding. Well, kind of. LOL

mama_althea's picture

Here's a little cut and paste out of my own blog as to how I feel this site universally works:

1. Google something to the effect of “can’t stand my step-kid” and find this site

2. Feel instant relief that someone out there understands since otherwise instead of advice you get “you knew he/she had kids when you got married” or that the step-parent needs to “be the adult” and suck it up

3. Try to encapsulate everything you are experiencing with skid(s), BM(s), and Denial Dad in your first Rant Post

4. Read and learn

5. Post fervently

6. Read and learn some more, gaining a sort of Epiphany through the absorption of the vocabulary, commonalities, and theories (most notably Auteurs' Guilty Dad List) presented herein

7. Post moderately

8. Read and learn some more while using the terms and advice contained within this site in actual Real Life

9. Coast for awhile, if not seeing positive changes, at least preserving sanity by disengaging to some degree and putting foot down when possible

10. Big Life Changing Event takes place (ie BM sick or in jail or deployed or drug/alcohol addicted, Skid gets in major trouble, or BM just plain dumps kids)

11. Skids move into your home, despite no previous indication that skids would be living with you

12. Dilemma ensues about in which bedroom(s), or lack thereof, to keep said skids

13. Craziness with BM continues, despite change in venue

14. Get taken advantage of, in terms of both time and money

15. Repeat and cycle through #4-9 indefinitely

Randomly intersperse above steps with frequent psychotic phone calls/visits from BM, occasional involvement with social worker or counselor or similar entity, poor behavior and hygiene habits on skids’ part, procurement of restraining order(s), arguments with spouse, ruination of one or more family events, and hurtful comments or behavior (by and from pretty much everyone involved).

mama_althea's picture

paul, there was a caveat in my original post that a few here are step-dads...sorry bout that. other than that i think minus some details, all stories here are pretty universal.

paul_in_utah's picture

I totally agree, the stories are very much the same. When I read most stories on here about "guilty daddies," I can very easily envision the story as being written about my DW, a "guilty mommy" if there ever was one. Just a simple flip of gender.

mama_althea's picture

I was unclear. By terms I meant the eye-opening definitions of things you had already been seeing, but didn't know there was an actual term for, such as: Guilty Dad (or Mom), PAS, Ostrich-ing, Disney Dad (or Mom), over-stepping, narcissism, etc. At first you thought all those behaviors were made up in your head, then you get the revelation that they are real actual things with real actual names.

As far as abiding by the advice...pick and choose, my friend, pick and choose.

PeanutandSons's picture

Oh no, what did your boss say? Did he read your stuff, or just see that you weren't working?

forestfairy's picture

Gizmo, under the menu key on the upper left of the screen, if you go to "home" you will get the blogs, and if you go to "forums" you will get to the forums. You can post in either. A lot of people stick to the blogs because you can delete them. They also make it nice when you are trying to read someone's back story. If you click on anyone's user name you will see a "so and so's recent blogs" and then you can read through their old blogs.

The one thing I don't like about the blogs, is that I wish new posts would keep a blog up at the top of the first page. Sometimes you have to through pages to find blogs that people are still commenting on.

I always read blogs first and then will check in at forums if I have enough time.

young_step_mom's picture

Just an fyi, you can bookmark blogs or forums you like so you don't have to scroll back to find a blog you were commenting on.:)

young_step_mom's picture

Just an fyi, you can bookmark blogs or forums you like so you don't have to scroll back to find a blog you were commenting on.:)