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Chores and Allowance

sbm014's picture

A couple of weeks ago I posted that SS5 will soon have chores at our house as I am sick of doing most of the work, and I let DH slack as it was a hectic summer, and DH apologized and showed much appreciation while SS called me lazy because I did it while they were gone doing fun stuff, and he said I hired someone to come clean, and do laundry because at BM's house it if something gets done it is normally because of BM's mom. However, school starts tomorrow which means bedtime and all of that will already be reinstated when he comes over so I think it is the perfect time to add to the routine, DH has already said he will get back to the normal dividing of household responsibilities and like I said was very appreciative of me picking up slack, especially has he knows I want my house presentable at anytime.

DH mentioned he thinks SS should get allowance for doing some things. My question is what things do you think are appropriate for a 5 year old to do, and what things do you think are appropriate for him to earn a allowance on.

I already know this first little bit will be a struggle as DH is coming home a day late (Thurs) and then we will be gone until Labor Day...but I want to at least be able to discuss expectations, and get the ball rolling as soon as we return.

To me things that shouldn't earn allowance and things we have already tried to ask him to do:

Picking up toys in living room
Dirty clothes downstairs (easy enough as he just has to throw them down the stairs as he gets out of the bath)
Plate in the sink

Possibly earn allowance:

Helping DH clean the yard
Helping DH pick up their work area outside
Help clean porch (our house is split level so they have a work area and then you walk up half a flight of stairs to our porch)

Any other ideas? And which one do you think it should go under? I don't think I am being unreasonable showing something should just be done as we grow up and others that aren't necessarily his responsibility can earn profit.

Also what is a suitable allowance for a 5yr old in your opinion?

sbm014's picture

He has a jar that he puts all money in that he gets for working on stuff with DH, etc. To me I don't know if money would be the best reward, or if it would be perhaps a extra hot wheels car, us going out to eat if he wants for dinner as he gets to choose about once a week what we have, and most of the time refuse to go out to eat as cooking at home is cheaper, and healthier.

I know that he will have to be reminded as like I said something we already ask him to do for example the toys but if I went to bed before DH and SS it wouldn't always get done, but now I know for a fact SS will be going to bed first. I just want him to know that at this point it is a big deal that everyone helps...

I also know he will need to be supervised but there is somethings like DH's mess in his work area that I think should have a reward opposed to being expected to be done, as most the time SS has nothing to do with the mess created.

sbm014's picture

It was a example I am not saying it is going to happen...once a week while SS is here he gets to put in a suggestion for dinner...to me I don't see a issue if we go out twice (once already being set as the evening before he leaves, as no one wants to cook that evening) during the 3 weeks DH is home...in NO WAY does SS dictate what we eat or what we are going to do, it's just right before he goes back to BM..DH will ask what SS would like if he request something absurd DH says no way and we cook something reasonable.

In my opinion I think a hot wheels car, or something would work.

sbm014's picture

I agree in this sense I am using allowance to mean reward as it is the easiest word associated with chores.

My goal is to make them attainable, and trackable like on the fridge as you suggested - in now way do I want him to feel like I am just being a b*tch and making him do stuff, I know for me my reward is a clean house, for DH his reward is a happy wife and clean house...but for a 5yr old I don't see a clean house feeling like a big reward.

I just want him to appreciate we all do stuff, and have jobs in life, and yes I may come home and lay down as I get up at 4:45 in the morning, but I do pick up and do my part, as does DH and he is expected to as well. I know I refer to it as my house since my name is primarily on the lease but when someone walks in they look at the 3 of us not just me.

sbm014's picture

Yea...like I said I don't know money works for him but for the mist part he just looks at the jar like WTF, I think maybe a hotwheels car, more time on his four wheeler, or something I just wanted idea.

What is opinion on appropriate chores for and not for allowance?

We would probably due the reward in half week instances - and it may very depending on what he did like once a hot wheels, or if he goes over more time on his four wheeler which is a bigger deal. We get him on Wed and he goes back to BM the next Wed, so I think having it split would seem more appealing.

sbm014's picture

Thanks...I can see maybe doing some savings and then one of the other rewards like the car or more time on his four-wheeler...I like the idea of him continuing to save though, I just don't see it being the most appealing and motivating for him

sbm014's picture

See I like this. I was thinking maybe a small reward for basics as like I said I want him to think clothes, and all of that is a essential...where helping DH outside or me pick up certain areas are not necessarily directly related to him so would be worth a little more if he helped.

theoutsider's picture

Check out www.myjobchart.com

It is a site that can give you ideas of jobs and how to track if they get done, incentives for doing jobs, earning money, etc.

We set the kids up to get 5 cents a chore. Started them off with getting points for showing and brushing their teeth, then once they got older and did those daily hygiene things somewhat routinely, we stopped giving money for those, changed the tasks to making bed, organizing closet, folding clothes,... When those where somewhat mastered we added taking out the trash, cleaning the microwave,....

You get the idea, we slowly built up the chores, things that were once paid for as they get older are no longer paid for, it is just expected....

My boyfriend explains to the kids he wants them to see that work equals money, but some work everyone has to duo whether they get paid or not.

5.cents for every chore may sound low, but it adds up quick.

He pays.them twice a month. Their money goes into a clear mayo jar in their room and they can do what they want with it...

sbm014's picture

Thanks all! I will be getting stuff ready to fully discuss with DH Smile

Theoutsider - I don't think $0.05 cents sounds low considering most hotwheels are 97centes without tax at Walmart so it would make perfect sense. I also like starting to pay and phasing out paying for one chore to upgrade to a more complicated or higher level chore.

cuprunnethover's picture

We are doing $5 a week for the paid chores...the consequence for not performing on the unpaid chores (like picking up after yourself) is deducting .25 from the weekly allowance per occurrence...(You don't get paid to do it, but you are losing money by not doing it)....and he does get a break (We cut him some slack - he's only 7)

theoutsider's picture

We also added lieing about doing a chore (to the best of your ability) means losing $1

Just had to do this because the 8 year old girl threw everything in the corner, under a blanket then opened the closet door next to it,.... I'm guessing she still isn't smart enough to realize that throwing a blanket over a huge pile of stuff does not camouflage it... Lol...

sbm014's picture

I don't think my SS would lie about it but I won't say he would never because he is a child - he does however know that lying comes with great consequences including no fourwheeler, grounding, depending on his response I personally will take away every single toy and he can do what the adults are doing.

I will say that the reason I believe chores and a semi-reward with the promise of a not so nice implication is before they left I told him he could pick up his room or it could stay that way and he could pick it up, do his own laundry and not ride his four wheeler the first day he came home which I know sounds harsh but I was at my last thread and didn't feel good - when him and DH came home he changed and starting picking up when DH asked him if he was doing it on his own or not he said "No Ms. SBM told me to do it" and it was actually picked up nicer than when he normally does or when we get the other kids who played to help him.

I am not a huge fan on even looking in his room is he is 5 and a boy but when they leave I do the last load of laundry and get it all put up so everything is in order for their return.