I'm only dreading 6/15-6/19...when I'll be in MIL, SS & BM's state...ugh...but the rest of summer will be awesome for me! I've got a Cali vacation & Bahamas cruise to look forward to right after that hellish trip Maybe you should've waited to go to HI until AFTER her summer visit LOL
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"
Other than a ten day trip to SIL and BILs in TX, I'll have SD every day. BM may or may not even keep her one overnight a week- at this point I doubt she will do more than a few dinners out a month. Even if BM takes her overnight in the summer it means she picks her up after at 6-7pm and drops her off between 7-8am (won't even give an exact time so I usually get up at 6:45 those mornings so I can unlock the door and wait for SD's return. When DH told BM he would like SD to call him on her way home so then I don't have to get up an hour early, BM refused to let SD use the phone.
Last summer SD was sneaking out in the middle of the night which prompted us to spend 1200 bucks on ADT.
Who knows what joys this summer will bring.
I am working very hard at not attaching to her behavior and letting her do whatever she pleases while DH is at work. He's not entirely sure about that. However, SD gets highly agitated and anxious/angry if she is forced to stay home for more time than it takes to stuff some food in her mouth and run back out the door. This summer I'm setting her loose. If DH wants he can schedule her time with sports or jobs etc. I am not intervening or trying to teach her moderation. There's no point anymore in that. So I'm spending my time doing what I want to do, and enjoying the three other kids who want to hang out here.
Oh how nice 2 weeks sounds to me!
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
Last year I laid down the law...one week of vistitation in the summer -thats it. If BF wanted it any longer he would be able to go camping or somewhere else. I DO NOT BABYSIT OTHER PEOPLES KIDS AT ALL - NO WAY!!!!!!!
OMG I would KILL for that deal. Try EOW plus 1 night a week PLUS mult needy phone calls from stepkid wanting money,extra time with daddy. Oh I forgot theres many sports/school functions that require us to be with bitchy BM. FUN not
Our schedule for summer is every other week 4 the whole week 4 the whole summer. They didn't even come last year so I'm praying that they don't come at all because I do have 2 babysit them while he works. I dread waking up in the summer not 2 mention the weeks we have skids. Only 5 summers left yay!!!
...after a divorce last fall. he's already moved in with her and they have some plans for the summer. i'm sure she'll want us to take the kids. i wouldn't do this to my ex-husband. i don't like sharing my kids with anyone.
yanno, it's not just that i don't really like my SKs, even though i desperately try. it's that the burden of care falls to me. i resent that. i don't like that no matter what i do, i'm being mean. (even though i think that's called "motherhood." yes, you have to bathe, wipe, brush, and help out around the house. deal with it.)
them being here means tons of extra work for me. they're slobs. they don't clean up after themselves. they eat a ton of food. they fight with my kids. DH doesn't help much at all.
my kids don't get along with the SKs. and my DD doesn't like having to share her friends with SD9. i don't blame her!
gonna have to wait and see what happens...
~it's all fun and games til someone loses an eye...
The only thing I dread about summer is having the kids home all day, eating! They can go through food like no one's business. BM will have them for 3 weeks at some point, not sure if it will be all together or one week at a time.
And camp! holy crap summer camps are expensive. I wanted to find some the kids could go to for some entertainment, but we can't afford it, not even for a week for both of them. Not to mention they make the drop off/pick up times near impossible to do. Some people do work!
~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.
ARE expensive..so guess who had to figure out where SS5 would end up? ME!!! HIS SM. Did FH even think about or deal with it? NOPE..If I left it up to him..the day summer starts he'd be like "oh..so who's watching MY son".
For now my BD13 will watch him two days a week for some $$..but not sure how long that will last as he NEVER listens to her and actually does things on purpose to annoy her..and she is 13..not very patient.
Oh well..not my problem if his kid is a social issue.
I am already feeling depressed about summer. It seems nothing is as I would like it to be. I can't send my daughter to camp, something that I beleive in strongly, because then we would have to do equal for the skids even though they don't care to go anyway.
The skids are slobs and this has rubbed off on my daughter and I dreading the non-stop filth that I am going to have to deal with.
I feel like I cannot go anywhere, vacation-wise, that I want and when we do go anywhere my trip is ruined by whining skids who demand the world.
as the other nine months of the year....skids 24/7...so see?..it could always be worse, ladies....enjoy yur skid free moments whenever u can find them!!
"there are three sides to every story....your side, my side and the truth :)"
Why should I pay all that money for them to vacation their summer away? I think WE should go and have a spa camp instead!
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
once baseball is over. The only negative is we have ycare to pay for...but this year they will only go 3 days a week & every third week they will stay home alone as practice for next year when they will stay home alone all summer. Can we say HUGE savings!! Plus they are very mature & can totally handle the resposibility.
We also get an overnight on Wednesday night and then they will work from home with DH on Thursday. Oh & a week vacation with them.
I still think a spa day would be awesome just for the heck of it. :)!
I don't mind summer...it means we all get to sleep in each morning(yay)!! I just foresee the kids being disobedient a bit more than they are now. The few times they get to go to BM's ever, I can honestly say I feel relieved for the break but I also feel lost. I guess it's because I am so used to them always being with us that when I get a break it feels weird to me.
I am looking forward to my weekend away the 3rd weekend in July when I go help out close friends of my husband's family with a big event they have at a nudist camp about an hour away! I am going to be the water girl. The show is actually called Nudes-A-Poppin! Here's the link in case anyone is interested to see what I am talking about. There are nude pics (just a warning)
BM has decided she doesn't have the time or desire to see her kids at all this summer. They will see her the usual 2 days a week (except the 4 weekends she "has plans") and they will spend only one week with her parents (I am certain SS17 will call me like last year to pick him up early)The rest of the summer-as during the school year, the kids are all mine! OMG and they will eat the whole house every week (thank you Costco) and they will be bored and they will be tired and the will be hungry and blah blah blah blah blah....ALL SUMMER ALMOST EVERY DAY!!!!!!....shoot me
"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."
As I said above BM is likely going to discontinue even her overnights. She's supposed to get SD tonight as a matter of fact and hasn't returned SD's calls all week since claiming last week she'd be in Florida.
Last time she "went out of town" on her only night of the week she is currently still attempting to see SD, I drove down her street on my way to a friends and saw her car. Still thought perhaps she didn't drive herself you know?
She was dumb enough to tell SD I was stalking her by driving by. I hadn't mentioned seeing her car to SD, til SD said, "Mom said you drove by her house on TH night." I said, SHE DID? Wow. I didn't think she'd have seen me from "out of town."
It hadn't dawned on SD til then, and she got a "caught my lame mom in a lie" expression on her face- like an "A-HA! We've got her now!"
That was all it was mentioned. I imagine if BM brought it up again SD would have told her off for not taking her night with her.
So...we'll see if BM is "back in town" for visitation tonight. Wonder how this will all go if BM is still here and there in the picture when SD starts being able to drive by herself to see if BM lied to avoid seeing her?
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
by day 2 of our 7 days (we have them eo week for the summer) I was done.
they are lazy and unmotivated.
and god forbid they follow the same rules as my sons.
i want a vacation from their vacation.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
Yes, I'm dreading it. We have the little darling (15) full time, since she and BM starting beating on each other a couple of years ago. Yay. So... I'll be at work part time, and she'll be here, sleeping until noon, grazing and leaving her crap all over the house, and when I get home, she'll tell her dad that I'M the lazy b***h who doesn't clean up. Nice... at least he knows better, but a summer full of drama isn't my idea of a vacation. At least when she's in school I don't have to worry about what she's doing to my house or my dogs. I guess the one upside is that once she lazes her way out of bed around noon, she'll likely wander off to her friends house, so maybe that'll keep her occupied.
Yes. Dreading every minute of the whole two and a half months.
For the past two years, we have sent SD to a two week overnight camp. Very safe. LOTS of activities. All girls. Oh, did I mention yes, expensive? Those two weeks are the best two weeks of my summer, and I'd spend anything for it.
This year however, SD12, has decided that she "doesn't like it anymore" and will not go back. DH said, "okay". No discussion. End of camp.
We have full-time 24/7 custody of SD, with no visitation relief from BM (Court-ordered). So now I get to watch DH run around all summer, keeping SD busy (she has very few friends, is socially inept, and needs to have activities arranged for her), and catering to her every whim. While I try to find a way to do things so that DH and I can sit home every night because SD can't be trusted and is too 'needy' to be left alone.
Because I have finally grown a backbone. In previous years there would be no schedule set until June and the teenagers could come and go as they pleased, even when FH would be at work. Being used to only one teenager, having 3 more descend on my house with their messes and attitudes and lack of respect was a nightmare. Not to mention the nastiness and abuse directed at my daughter.
One summer we (stupidly) had the two SD's here for a MONTH. It was on me to make sure they picked up after themselves (they didn't), did their chores (they did, but deliberately poorly in hopes of not having to do them again), and didn't kill each other (my daughter survived but ended up in therapy because of the trauma). FH was absolutely clueless as to what was going on and used the excuse, "I didn't see it," for why he didn't address any of the issues. Of course he didn't see it! He only saw the kids themselves when it was "fun" time after work and on weekends.
This year we sat down with the calendar and planned out vacations and visitation weekends. Visitation would be with ONE kid at a time - to give each kid alone time with dad, to preserve what's left of my sanity, to protect my daughter from bullying, and hopefully to give the kids a chance to gradually integrate into our family. We agreed that if the one-on-one visits went well enough, we would have all the kids here for a long weekend. This didn't pan out very well, as BM will "not allow" skids to visit one-on-one (bullshit.... they don't want to come here alone because they know they won't be able to get away with their bullying crap and the BM is backing them up on it, not to mention that she has no legal say about it since the kids are old enough to decide for themselves... oh, and BM "wants a break from them"... HA! I'm not surprised in the least).
His week-long vacation with all of them will be spent camping without my daughter and I. Originally, I was going to take my daughter camping while he had his kids in our home for the week, but that's not going to work since he won't be able to supervise them properly, leaving our pets and possessions at risk.
So it looks like I won't have to put up with their crap at all this summer. PLUS my daughter will be spending a few weeks here and there babysitting out of town. YAY! ALONE TIME!
I'm so excited. Can you tell?
I'm only dreading
I'm only dreading 6/15-6/19...when I'll be in MIL, SS & BM's state...ugh...but the rest of summer will be awesome for me! I've got a Cali vacation & Bahamas cruise to look forward to right after that hellish trip
Maybe you should've waited to go to HI until AFTER her summer visit LOL
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"
Summer and Xmas
Always the low points of the year
Ho hum.
For a few weeks? Can I trade? ;)
Other than a ten day trip to SIL and BILs in TX, I'll have SD every day. BM may or may not even keep her one overnight a week- at this point I doubt she will do more than a few dinners out a month. Even if BM takes her overnight in the summer it means she picks her up after at 6-7pm and drops her off between 7-8am (won't even give an exact time so I usually get up at 6:45 those mornings so I can unlock the door and wait for SD's return. When DH told BM he would like SD to call him on her way home so then I don't have to get up an hour early, BM refused to let SD use the phone.
Last summer SD was sneaking out in the middle of the night which prompted us to spend 1200 bucks on ADT.
Who knows what joys this summer will bring.
I am working very hard at not attaching to her behavior and letting her do whatever she pleases while DH is at work. He's not entirely sure about that. However, SD gets highly agitated and anxious/angry if she is forced to stay home for more time than it takes to stuff some food in her mouth and run back out the door. This summer I'm setting her loose. If DH wants he can schedule her time with sports or jobs etc. I am not intervening or trying to teach her moderation. There's no point anymore in that. So I'm spending my time doing what I want to do, and enjoying the three other kids who want to hang out here.
Oh how nice 2 weeks sounds to me!
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
Summer is not a bummer
Last year I laid down the law...one week of vistitation in the summer -thats it. If BF wanted it any longer he would be able to go camping or somewhere else. I DO NOT BABYSIT OTHER PEOPLES KIDS AT ALL - NO WAY!!!!!!!
few weeks in the summer!!!!!
OMG I would KILL for that deal. Try EOW plus 1 night a week PLUS mult needy phone calls from stepkid wanting money,extra time with daddy. Oh I forgot theres many sports/school functions that require us to be with bitchy BM. FUN not
dreading summer
Our schedule for summer is every other week 4 the whole week 4 the whole summer. They didn't even come last year so I'm praying that they don't come at all because I do have 2 babysit them while he works. I dread waking up in the summer not 2 mention the weeks we have skids. Only 5 summers left yay!!!
Few weeks here... few weeks there...
including every other weekend.
No one ever talks to me about when we're getting Blabb, so who knows? Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to have Blabb for a whole month.
Last summer we had Blabb two and a half weeks in June and then another two weeks in July, after her birthday.
:/ And trust me. Two weeks with Blabb feels like two years. Maybe I'll videotape my summer with Blabb and show you what I mean.
BM has new BF
...after a divorce last fall. he's already moved in with her and they have some plans for the summer. i'm sure she'll want us to take the kids. i wouldn't do this to my ex-husband. i don't like sharing my kids with anyone.
yanno, it's not just that i don't really like my SKs, even though i desperately try. it's that the burden of care falls to me. i resent that. i don't like that no matter what i do, i'm being mean. (even though i think that's called "motherhood." yes, you have to bathe, wipe, brush, and help out around the house. deal with it.)
them being here means tons of extra work for me. they're slobs. they don't clean up after themselves. they eat a ton of food. they fight with my kids. DH doesn't help much at all.
my kids don't get along with the SKs. and my DD doesn't like having to share her friends with SD9. i don't blame her!
gonna have to wait and see what happens...
~it's all fun and games til someone loses an eye...
Summer
The only thing I dread about summer is having the kids home all day, eating! They can go through food like no one's business. BM will have them for 3 weeks at some point, not sure if it will be all together or one week at a time.
And camp! holy crap summer camps are expensive. I wanted to find some the kids could go to for some entertainment, but we can't afford it, not even for a week for both of them. Not to mention they make the drop off/pick up times near impossible to do. Some people do work!
~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.
summer camps!
ARE expensive..so guess who had to figure out where SS5 would end up? ME!!! HIS SM. Did FH even think about or deal with it? NOPE..If I left it up to him..the day summer starts he'd be like "oh..so who's watching MY son".
For now my BD13 will watch him two days a week for some $$..but not sure how long that will last as he NEVER listens to her and actually does things on purpose to annoy her..and she is 13..not very patient.
Oh well..not my problem if his kid is a social issue.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
Yes
I am already feeling depressed about summer. It seems nothing is as I would like it to be. I can't send my daughter to camp, something that I beleive in strongly, because then we would have to do equal for the skids even though they don't care to go anyway.
The skids are slobs and this has rubbed off on my daughter and I dreading the non-stop filth that I am going to have to deal with.
I feel like I cannot go anywhere, vacation-wise, that I want and when we do go anywhere my trip is ruined by whining skids who demand the world.
Hurray for summer *gag* :sick:
LOL...summer is the same for me
as the other nine months of the year....skids 24/7...so see?..it could always be worse, ladies....enjoy yur skid free moments whenever u can find them!!
"there are three sides to every story....your side, my side and the truth :)"
me too Lotus - rather than Skid camp as some suggested
I would vote for STEPMOM camp!
Why should I pay all that money for them to vacation their summer away? I think WE should go and have a spa camp instead!
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
Summer is good for us
once baseball is over. The only negative is we have ycare to pay for...but this year they will only go 3 days a week & every third week they will stay home alone as practice for next year when they will stay home alone all summer. Can we say HUGE savings!! Plus they are very mature & can totally handle the resposibility.
We also get an overnight on Wednesday night and then they will work from home with DH on Thursday. Oh & a week vacation with them.
I still think a spa day would be awesome just for the heck of it. :)!
I don't mind summer...it
I don't mind summer...it means we all get to sleep in each morning(yay)!! I just foresee the kids being disobedient a bit more than they are now. The few times they get to go to BM's ever, I can honestly say I feel relieved for the break but I also feel lost. I guess it's because I am so used to them always being with us that when I get a break it feels weird to me.
I am looking forward to my weekend away the 3rd weekend in July when I go help out close friends of my husband's family with a big event they have at a nudist camp about an hour away! I am going to be the water girl. The show is actually called Nudes-A-Poppin! Here's the link in case anyone is interested to see what I am talking about. There are nude pics (just a warning)
http://www.nudes-a-poppin.com/nap-2009.htm
Gosh, I have to babysit
for a month of the summer..
Alright ladied ans gents I don't wanna hear it!!!
BM has decided she doesn't have the time or desire to see her kids at all this summer. They will see her the usual 2 days a week (except the 4 weekends she "has plans") and they will spend only one week with her parents (I am certain SS17 will call me like last year to pick him up early)The rest of the summer-as during the school year, the kids are all mine! OMG and they will eat the whole house every week (thank you Costco) and they will be bored and they will be tired and the will be hungry and blah blah blah blah blah....ALL SUMMER ALMOST EVERY DAY!!!!!!....shoot me
"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."
I'm in a similar boat, only...
As I said above BM is likely going to discontinue even her overnights. She's supposed to get SD tonight as a matter of fact and hasn't returned SD's calls all week since claiming last week she'd be in Florida.
Last time she "went out of town" on her only night of the week she is currently still attempting to see SD, I drove down her street on my way to a friends and saw her car. Still thought perhaps she didn't drive herself you know?
She was dumb enough to tell SD I was stalking her by driving by. I hadn't mentioned seeing her car to SD, til SD said, "Mom said you drove by her house on TH night." I said, SHE DID? Wow. I didn't think she'd have seen me from "out of town."
It hadn't dawned on SD til then, and she got a "caught my lame mom in a lie" expression on her face- like an "A-HA! We've got her now!"
That was all it was mentioned. I imagine if BM brought it up again SD would have told her off for not taking her night with her.
So...we'll see if BM is "back in town" for visitation tonight. Wonder how this will all go if BM is still here and there in the picture when SD starts being able to drive by herself to see if BM lied to avoid seeing her?
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I
oh yeah I dread it
by day 2 of our 7 days (we have them eo week for the summer) I was done.
they are lazy and unmotivated.
and god forbid they follow the same rules as my sons.
i want a vacation from their vacation.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
Summer... UGH
Yes, I'm dreading it. We have the little darling (15) full time, since she and BM starting beating on each other a couple of years ago. Yay. So... I'll be at work part time, and she'll be here, sleeping until noon, grazing and leaving her crap all over the house, and when I get home, she'll tell her dad that I'M the lazy b***h who doesn't clean up. Nice... at least he knows better, but a summer full of drama isn't my idea of a vacation. At least when she's in school I don't have to worry about what she's doing to my house or my dogs. I guess the one upside is that once she lazes her way out of bed around noon, she'll likely wander off to her friends house, so maybe that'll keep her occupied.
oh dear lord...
Yes. Dreading every minute of the whole two and a half months.
For the past two years, we have sent SD to a two week overnight camp. Very safe. LOTS of activities. All girls. Oh, did I mention yes, expensive? Those two weeks are the best two weeks of my summer, and I'd spend anything for it.
This year however, SD12, has decided that she "doesn't like it anymore" and will not go back. DH said, "okay". No discussion. End of camp.
We have full-time 24/7 custody of SD, with no visitation relief from BM (Court-ordered). So now I get to watch DH run around all summer, keeping SD busy (she has very few friends, is socially inept, and needs to have activities arranged for her), and catering to her every whim. While I try to find a way to do things so that DH and I can sit home every night because SD can't be trusted and is too 'needy' to be left alone.
10 wks O'Fun! I can't wait. :sick:
Looking forward to this summer
Because I have finally grown a backbone. In previous years there would be no schedule set until June and the teenagers could come and go as they pleased, even when FH would be at work. Being used to only one teenager, having 3 more descend on my house with their messes and attitudes and lack of respect was a nightmare. Not to mention the nastiness and abuse directed at my daughter.
One summer we (stupidly) had the two SD's here for a MONTH. It was on me to make sure they picked up after themselves (they didn't), did their chores (they did, but deliberately poorly in hopes of not having to do them again), and didn't kill each other (my daughter survived but ended up in therapy because of the trauma). FH was absolutely clueless as to what was going on and used the excuse, "I didn't see it," for why he didn't address any of the issues. Of course he didn't see it! He only saw the kids themselves when it was "fun" time after work and on weekends.
This year we sat down with the calendar and planned out vacations and visitation weekends. Visitation would be with ONE kid at a time - to give each kid alone time with dad, to preserve what's left of my sanity, to protect my daughter from bullying, and hopefully to give the kids a chance to gradually integrate into our family. We agreed that if the one-on-one visits went well enough, we would have all the kids here for a long weekend. This didn't pan out very well, as BM will "not allow" skids to visit one-on-one (bullshit.... they don't want to come here alone because they know they won't be able to get away with their bullying crap and the BM is backing them up on it, not to mention that she has no legal say about it since the kids are old enough to decide for themselves... oh, and BM "wants a break from them"... HA! I'm not surprised in the least).
His week-long vacation with all of them will be spent camping without my daughter and I. Originally, I was going to take my daughter camping while he had his kids in our home for the week, but that's not going to work since he won't be able to supervise them properly, leaving our pets and possessions at risk.
So it looks like I won't have to put up with their crap at all this summer. PLUS my daughter will be spending a few weeks here and there babysitting out of town. YAY! ALONE TIME!