I was here, then gone, and back again.

Because everything seems to go full circle...here I am again...yet not as surprised by my predicament. Heh.

Before, I was just "emptyrisks" on here. Since I couldn't remember my old user email and what-not...I've decided to sign on (again) with emptyrisksagain. Feel free to search my name via steptalk.org, you'll find my rants...for sure.

On the verge of many things...as yet another honeymoon period got to me. Don't know what to do. SD now 16 1/2...gloves are off for her and doesn't give one good shit about me or my sons, and her dad is just as oblivious. "Loves me" and all that, is AWESOME to my boys...yet allows her every bit of room to run the hell all over us.

It just....it doesn't get better, folks. I hate coming back here after so many years and saying a crappy thing like that...but it doesn't. I've been around since SD was 5 and her own mom ditched, ya know? And it isn't better, and it's never been better, and it won't be better. Not for me. Not for us.

I hope it us or will be for you. I truly do.

As for me? Well, I should've known better. Just should've. I'm not stupid...(or so I thought), but man can I get sucked in when I feel guilty or needed or missed.

Stupid. I'm just that stupid. Heh.

emptyrisksagain's blog
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welcome

Welcome back to ST. Any time a child is ditched and unloved by their parents they are going to have problems all of their lives. It carries over into every aspect of their lives including their adult hoood and marriage of thier own.

Oh yeah. I know. I know the

Oh yeah. I know. I know the whole "ditched and unloved" thing. I've been there for the shrinks and therapists and school meetings and expulsions and medications that failed and violent outbursts and everything else you can think of. And I've done this while raising a kid with autism and another son, and have recently taken my nephew in due to his mother's lack of...sheesh...EVERYTHING. heh.

I know. I knew none of it would be easy for her to "walk off" (if you can EVER walk that kind of thing off), or get past, and I knew it wasn't something that could just be healed overnight, or in years. And I knew it would never be forgotten. So, yeah. I know.

Hello again

I am in the same boat, though didn't meet SD til she was 9, and BM didn't ever totally ditch, just comes and goes as she pleases, enough to continuously stir SD up.

My SD has BPD, which can manifest itself when a child feels abandoned, whether it's real,imagined, or simply feared to occur. I don't know exactly what your SD is doing specifically, but you can go to a message board called bpd face the facts-

http://www.bpdfamily.com/

and see if her behaviors are similar. If they are then you will find a whole slew of info to help you cope. I'm still working on it myself, and being that SD is only 14 I have many more years to deal with her in my home.

Goodluck and we are here for you!

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I

Oh, the BPD. I stumbled on

Oh, the BPD. I stumbled on articles about this long ago and even spoke with therapists about it. Mostly I talked to DH about this. I am betting you can guess what happened when this was mentioned to him. LOL. NOTHING!!!! See, that would be admitting something.

But you know, I am grateful you sent me this information. It's something I've not thought about in years. I read all from the link, and watched the video, and strangely I already feel less...I dunno...full of crap? Ha. I've been led to believe that I am such a liar, such an inventor of BS, and such an over-reactor in all this, that I guess I was growing numb again (and feeling hopeless).

So thank you....thank you, and thank you. *huge hugs & even bigger blessings*

I am very lucky

That my DH knows and believes this to be true. He lived it with BM for 15 years, 10 of those married. What's hard for him then though, is his coping mechanisms for dealing with BM (angry arguing and withdrawing) are impossible when it's your daughter.

The book we're reading now is very helpful-

http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/d...

and I plan on ordering and other SMs have read and found this one helpful-

http://www.amazon.com/Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Adolescents-Unders...

Actually, I'm ordering that one in a few mins, as SD has decided to begin the flip back to hating me again.

Goodluck E! And if you decide to join the BPD_face_the_facts message board, PM me and I'll give you my screen name on there.

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