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Well, the shit is about to hit the fan.....

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 8:42pm

Pardon my "french". After finding out the extent that we thought BM was going to is much worse with taking the sd5 to the counselor - DH has decided to hire a lawyer and file for custody.

First the counselor noted that sd was just fine with us, stated she loved us and feels welcome with us. Then the stuff BM has told her to say now is that we are beating and hitting her, she has nightmares because of us and is deathly afraid of us - only when her mom is in the session with her.

The counselor noted it is a 180% difference between sd with us and the BM. She suggested we hire a lawyer and get to the bottom of all of it.

So we take all of the nasty letters, blocking DH from the daycare and schools even though they have joint custody, notes blocking access from the counselor, the emails giving false information about medications and the dosage, the correct medication information from the doctor, the dropped false protective order, kept all the crazy text messages, voicemails, nasty emails, contempt of the court order, lies about sd health in letters, emails accusing me and him of abuse, about 5 years of craziness and evidence of alienation to the lawyer.

He told us DH has a good chance at being awarded custody especially with the emotional abuse going on and the lies to the counselor.

It is just so terrible that she has not moved on relationship wise and does these type things. DH is afraid that she will succeed in poisioning sd and it will cause her mental issues down the line.

Well, lawyer is going to prep the case and motions this weekend - and call us back on Monday.

We are going to Vegas to celebrate DH birthday (35th) next week..... we had better enjoy it - cause all hell is about to break lose when we get back and she finds out DH has filed the custody case.

She will be shocked that DH has kept all of her nastiness and craziness shown in 5 years of documentation.

It is about to be one crazy time for DH, BM, SD and me and my daughter. I am sure things will get ugly towards us.

But DH can't just keep sitting back and letting her do this stuff....... SD will end up suffering at her mother's hands even worse than she is right now.

It is just sad that it has to come to this. DH does not want to take sd from her mom - but with what she is doing to SD - DH feels that he has no choice.

By the way i forgot to mention that they were never married and have not been together since before SD was born. almost 6 years ago. It is just nuts!!!!!!!

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 (not verified) on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 10:15pm

that she is in counseling. The counselor sounds like a great person, and hopefully your DH can get her to testify in court on his behalf. That would be some pretty powerful testimony. Good, good, good for your DH for documenting everything! Once my DH started to document all of BM's crazy behavior, things started to go a lot better for us. I wish he had started doing it earlier, but better late than never. Eventually my SDs BM's cr*p caught up with her and karma cam back to bite her in the butt Smile

No way should DH just sit back and let her pull this cr*p. Your SD deserves to grow up in a stable environment.

I feel so badly for this poor girl. She sounds like a good girl- just very, very confused and needs all the love and support she can get from you, DH and other loving family and friends. I hope for your SDs sake that DH is awarded full custody and that she will continue to get help from her therapist, because it sounds like the therapist is doing a great job.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 01/29/2009 - 1:28am

Any parent that would purposely and maliciously burden any child, much less a 5yo, with that kind of toxic crap has no business having any interface with a child much less custody.

Go rescue that little girl from her wicked POS mother!

Just my thoughts of course.

Best regards,

bellacita's picture

Submitted by bellacita on Thu, 01/29/2009 - 10:26am

our situations are very similar...BM did ALOT of the same stuff to us--accused us of abuse, harassment, banned us both from daycare, even though they have jt custody, we had a whole log of stuff and the courts didnt care. we couldnt afford an attorney and we got NOTHING we asked for...we wanted protection from her, public exchanges, etc...none of it mattered. all they did was throw out the abuse claim but didnt even reem her for lying, in fact, the GAL said she was just investigating what her kid told her. SUCH BS. i hope it goes much better for u. SD was too young to be interviewed by a counselor and not having a lawyer really hurt us. u will be in my thoughts...best of luck.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Thu, 01/29/2009 - 10:48am

That is my concern as well. That they judge will not listen to the case and do what is best for the child involved.

Although this is the same judge they have been two for both instances when she defied the court order and was told to follow it.... you can never be sure.

But DH can't continue to sit back and let her do this stuff.

I am praying this judge listens to this case and does what is right. Cause now that the BM will know that we know what she is doing.....

It is my fear it may get even worse or she may try a worse tatic. But by then we will not have any more money for an attorney either. It is already costing us alot of money to do this.

It is such a shame that it seems like the bad parents sometimes are allowed to still pervail in court.

For my sd sake - i hope this judge pays attention, reads all the crap bm has done and signed, listens to the counselor and makes the right choice.

If not I told DH we may need to move to be closer to SD.... in the same state maybe one city over ... that way he can at least get every weekend visitation.... and sd will get a break from her crazy mom every weekend - so maybe that will provide a little normalcy in her life.

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Thu, 01/29/2009 - 10:55am

for your comments. The counselor has been great. She told us that she was not there to say mom or dad were bad - but to help sd with the issues sd is going through right now.

Hopefully the judge will do the right thing.

bellacita's picture

Submitted by bellacita on Thu, 01/29/2009 - 10:56am

especially if u are willing to move and be closer to her. the judge would probably order at least 50/50, or even primary residence w u and BM have visitation. in our case, it was more what was being done to US, so the judge really did look at what was best for SD. they didnt get that BM is nuts, but PAS and MMS is hard to prove and often overlooked in courts. i worry too about what BM will be like and how she will brainwash SD in the future...she already had started at the age of 2, telling SD she cant love me Sad in ur case, i really think getting more custody would help alot. good luck girl.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin