Adult skids/kids and vacation
DH and I both have one bio son each, both are young adults. Skid lives on his own and mine is attending school in another Province.
A few weeks ago DH and I went to Las Vegas for the weekend, expensive weekend getaway but it was nice. Once night when we were sitting having a drink downstairs DH went on that he would like to bring skid to Las Vegas because skid was too young when he was there before, he was just a child. Internally I just kinda rolled my eyes and then said “no 21 year old wants to go to Vegas with their parents “(or in our case Dad and Dad’s wife).
No way in hell would I want to go on vacation with skid, for one it would be awkward, we barley talk to each other, secondly DH would be acting like a teenage girl in love hanging all over his son and buying him anything and everything to the point of us going broke.
Once he brought it up that skid should come to Nashville with us, even mentioned it to skid. I told DH that if his kid goes then we are taking mine too. Said this knowing that he does not want to vacation with my kid and he does not want to spend more money by taking my kid. He never mentioned it again and his skid was guilt tripping his Dad about how he was suppose to go to Nashville, skid assumed that his Dad took me instead and was quilting him on that. DH never corrected it, but I was always going to Nashville.
So tonight at the dinner table when skid and MIL were over for dinner, MIL asked about our weekend to Vegas and what did we do etc, skid had no interest or asked about our trip (never does). The DH says “next time we go we will take you”. WTF? Really? I am mad. At least I got through the dinner without losing it.
We save money to go on vacation and sometimes it’s hard enough to save for us to go on vacation and then it becomes even worse paying for adult kids.
Am I unreasonable to think that skid should not come on vacations with us or that we should be paying for this vacations?
Any suggestions on how to approach the topic since he is making promises that aren’t going to be kept? I want to have a conversation with DH on this with minimal defensiveness so it can be a real conversation and things will get sorted instead of an unproductive fight. Thoughts?
Or maybe I will make sure we never go to Vegas ever again (lol).
DH liked to take SD and her
DH liked to take SD and her Husband on vacations with us when we were both paying for them - and they were so tight they wouldn't even leave a tip. When I suggested he pay for his family (including SD) and I would pay for mine, DH stopped being so 'generous'. Also, you could say, "This is OUR time for relationship maintenance" and suggest he spend some special one-on-one time with SS at another date.
I'd have added "But SS you
I'd have added "But SS you will have to pay your own way."
As I am older I do know parents that sometimes travel with their children. But they DO NOT pay for everyone. Many times it's the "children" who treat their parents to a trip.
But most of the time each adult pays their own way. One of my friends did take their children on a short trip to Vegas for the 50th wedding anniversary. But that was a once in a lifetime trip. Plus their children had given their mother a huge, expensive party (100 people catered) for her 80th birthday. (Father is younger so he's not reached that age yet).
I wouldn't mention it now though.
Thank you for the advice. I
Thank you for the advice. I guess I should let it go until it looks like it might be come to a reality.