Overly emotional SD
My 10 year old step daughter is beyond emotional. She cries about anything and everything. No matter what initially made her cry she always says its about the divorce. Keep in mind the divorce happened 3 years ago. A lot of times she cries after speaking with her BM. Saying she misses her(when she was just with her that morning). My issue is that her behavior is consuming my husband. He spends most of his time trying to console her. I know that it's normal for kids to be emotional but it's really excessive. At times I just want to scream..."knock it off!!!!" and I don't understand why he wont just do that. I hate to say it but I find myself disliking her because she causes so many issues. I don't look forward to her coming over because it's always the same story. Has anyone else had issues like this?
Thank you for your thoughts.
Thank you for your thoughts. Just nice to know I'm not imaging things
My own daughter who is 8 does
My own daughter who is 8 does this from time to time and my SD6 tries. I tell them both to knock it off and ignore it. It's for attention and if you give it then they'll continue.
My 8 year old knows it won't work but tries it anyhow then stops when we tell her she's faking.
SD6 does it because it works at her other house. If you talk to her sternly in any kind of manner whether you're just asking her a question she'll start the crying or sniffling crap. I flat out tell her not to start and she better knock it off before she gets into more trouble. She'll usually stop once she realizes it'll get her nowhere and tends to piss us off more than what she originally did in the first place but my husband for the most part is on board.
I wish my husband would try
I wish my husband would try this tactic. It seems to be impossible for him to just ignore her when she acts this way. I've tried to talk to him about it and give my suggestions but he just gets defensive and thinks I dislike his children or that I'm insensitive. I really do have a huge heart but it gets really hard to be sensitive to her feelings when this happens over and over and over again. It's like "enough already"!!
She had therapy right after
She had therapy right after the divorce but only went a couple times because my husband and his X thought it was making things worse. I really wish they would try again. Maybe a different therapist or it could make a bigger impact now because she is older.
We had a similar issue. Play
We had a similar issue. Play therapist works wonders
haha that's hilarious
haha that's hilarious
When I was young and my
When I was young and my parents were still together I did this. I don't know why, it was a kid thing. Whenever I got into trouble I would start crying.
I clearly remember both my parents telling me that if I didn't stop they would give me something to cry over!
I think some kids just do this and it has nothing to do with divorce or anything. CODs just have something to blame it on.
Oh my, we went thru the same
Oh my, we went thru the same thing with SD13. He was around 7 when they divorced. He was very stand off-ish with me at first. Come to find out she had even instructed him to punch me in my face at one point. I dreaded his visits too. He even thru one of my own children under the bus because he knew it would light her fire. I don't think he was ever genuinely distraught over the divorce and I don't know if maybe its the same thing going on with your daughter but I think he was doing it for two reasons. One obviously being for the attention from the opposite parent and two, he knew he could get what he wanted from her. If he didn't want to go to school that day, he would tell her he was sad about them breaking up and what not and she would let him stay home with her all day so it definitely turned into him being more manipulative then anything. Fortunately for us she is just a POS and dug her own grave with him as he got older and now he fights us when he even has to go back to her house for her weeks.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions. They were very helpful.
My sd is sort of like this,
My sd is sort of like this, only instead of crying it is attitude and fits and fuss... which is what her bio dad does when he wants something he isn't getting. My wife either ignores it becuase she is at her with end or coddles. She is very inconsistent, which we are working on... I have taken a more disengaged role. I just don't want to be part of the step drama. My wife knows it. We are open and honest about things. Except that o lie when she says she knows I hate sd.... I say I don't hate her but her behavior.... which could be true... but her behavior is her. She is 8. Her behavior is her.
She has learned very quick that screaming hate and throwing things gets her what she really wants... alone time with her bio mom (my wife) and ruins dinner/ outing/ down time for me. It's always of it was for me or something I like. Like a fishing trip, or my choice restaurant or my movie choice.
I hope she grows out of it, but I'm no fool... I'm sure she will be a brat of a adult too. Yay.
As you describe it... this is
As you describe it... this is clearly a manipulation tactic. DH needs to nip this in the bud and so do you.
When she pulls this crap she should be sent to be alone until she knocks it off. If it continues it is time to play the "Quit your crying before I give you something to cray about!!!!!!" card that gets her a smack on the butt so she will have something to cry about.
If this is a rare thing then there is no reason to confront the behavior. If is a regular thing... give her reason for the tears. It will stop in a hurry.